Who We Are with Rachel Lim Rachel Lim
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Who we are is an ever-evolving journey without limits.
Join the ever-curious Rachel Lim as she delves into every facet of our lives — from work and family to relationships, self-discovery, and beyond.
Experience a series of conversations and shared reflections that span from in-depth discussions with thought leaders around the world, to personal lessons shared with friends. Each episode offers valuable insights into our identities and pathways to self-improvement.
Welcome to Who We Are — a podcast devoted to the continuous journey of uncovering our ever-evolving selves.
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#11: Embracing 'Not-Having-It-All' with Karen Tay
In this insightful episode, we sit down with Karen Tay, a dynamic leader who has transitioned from impactful roles in the Singapore Government to navigating Silicon Valley's startup scene. Karen shares her journey, shaped by a close-knit family and significant life challenges, highlighting how these experiences have influenced her leadership style and personal growth.
Karen delves into her extensive experience, beginning with her role in the Singapore Government where she shaped national policy and fostered strategic communications. She then discusses her transition to Silicon Valley, navigating the unique challenges of the tech industry while focusing on bringing dignity and equity to the workplace. Reflecting on her journey of redefining "having it all," Karen shares personal anecdotes about balancing professional ambitions with family responsibilities, shedding light on the sacrifices involved.
The move to the US marked a significant transition for Karen and her family. She candidly discusses the difficulties of establishing new support systems and provides valuable advice for women navigating significant workplace challenges, emphasizing the importance of finding support and maintaining one's identity.
Karen also explores her initiatives with Threshold Allies and Inherent, focusing on empowering women to lead with their inherent strengths. She leaves us with profound wisdom on embracing life's messiness and recognizing one's inherent value. Join us for a compelling episode filled with honest reflections, practical advice, and inspiring insights from Karen Tay's remarkable journey.
00:00 Introduction
00:17 Getting to Know Karen Tay
02:19 The Impact of Her Upbringing
04:40 Pivotal Moments in Karen’s Career
06:27 Challenges of Working in Silicon Valley
07:58 Bringing Dignity to the Workplace
09:57 Redefining the Concept of ‘Having-It-All’
11:53 Sacrifices Made in Karen’s Journey
17:03 Addressing and Overcoming Burnout
21:06 Deconstructing ‘Having-It-All’ in Singapore
27:29 The Impacts of Moving Abroad
32:50 Navigating Unconventional Career Paths
36:58 Advice to Her Younger Self
38:07 Karen’s Vision for ‘Inherent’
40:54 Final Thoughts and Reflections
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Connect with Karen here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karenzytay/
Discover ‘Inherent’: https://www.inherentjourney.org/ -
#10: Inside the Mind of a Therapist: Joshua Fletcher on Anxiety
Join me for an insightful episode with Joshua Fletcher, a renowned psychotherapist and best-selling author, as he delves into the intricacies of anxiety disorders and stress management. With his candid and relatable approach, Joshua demystifies therapy and underscores its transformative potential.
In this episode, Joshua reveals what inspired him to specialize in anxiety disorders and shares his journey in raising awareness and reducing stigma around mental health. He offers practical advice for those hesitant to seek professional help and insightful tips on how to start therapy. Joshua also reflects on memorable moments that showcase the power of therapeutic change, providing real-life examples that reaffirm his belief in the positive impact therapy can have.
Additionally, Joshua imparts heartfelt advice to his younger self on mental health, career, and personal growth, making this episode not just informative but also deeply personal and inspiring.
Whether you're new to therapy or seeking to deepen your understanding of anxiety, this episode is brimming with valuable insights and inspiration. Tune in and take the first step towards a more comprehensive understanding of mental wellness.
00:00 Introduction
01:06 Get to know Joshua Fletcher
02:08 Defining Anxiety: A Therapist’s Perspective
06:39 When to Seek Professional Help
10:27 Addressing Hesitancy in Seeking Therapy
13:14 Joshua’s Personal Therapy Journey
15:26 Introducing “And How Does That Make You Feel?”
18:56 Common Misconceptions About Therapy
20:54 Elements of Effective Therapy
25:50 Understanding the Power of Therapy
27:25 The Stress Jug Concept
30:50 Advice to His Younger Self
32:34 Overcoming the Inner Critic
37:08 Joshua’s Parenting Advice
39:55 Final Thoughts
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Joshua Fletcher here: https://www.instagram.com/anxietyjosh/?hl=en
Purchase his new book ‘And How Does That Make You Feel?: everything you (n)ever wanted to know about therapy’: https://www.amazon.sg/dp/1398713201?geniuslink=true -
#9: Raising Secure Kids: From Theory to Practice with Eli Harwood
Today, I am thrilled to have Eli Harwood, a leading expert in attachment relationships, join us. With 17 years of experience as a licensed therapist, Eli has devoted her career to understanding how we connect and heal. Join us as we embark on a journey from theory to practice, exploring the importance of secure attachment and its impact on relationships and parenting.
In this episode, Eli shares her extensive experience and expertise, offering insights gleaned from years of attachment research. From debunking cultural myths surrounding attachment parenting to defining the core concepts of attachment theory, Eli guides us through the intricacies of forming secure bonds with our loved ones.
Discover practical strategies for navigating modern parenting challenges, including realigning with your children after conflict, and striking a balance between attachment and independence. Explore the CALM approach to regulating a child's emotions and learn how to address the legacy of insecure attachment with compassion and understanding.
Let’s dive in.
00:00 Introduction
02:01 The Importance of Secure Attachment
05:58 Eli Harwood’s Journey in Attachment Research
08:29 Debunking Cultural Myths of Attachment Parenting
12:05 Core Concepts of Attachment Theory
22:02 Defining Secure Attachment
22:49 Modern Parenting Challenges in Achieving Secure Attachment
27:24 Realigning with Your Kids After Conflict
30:12 Balancing Attachment and Child Independence
35:00 Benchmarking Secure Attachment
37:22 Repairing the Parent-Child Bond After Conflict
38:03 Regulating a Child’s Emotions: The CALM Approach
42:21 Addressing the Legacy of Insecure Attachment
43:40 Building Secure Attachment
46:15 Final Thoughts
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Eli Harwood here: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd?igsh=ZGdraWpkYnJnOG90
Purchase her latest book 'Raising Securely Attached Kids' here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0CPDP7DT5/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=&sr= -
#8: Shifting from Scarcity to Sufficiency with Joyce Chen
In this episode, we dive into the concept of the scarcity mindset with our in-house guest expert, Joyce from The Conscious Leadership Group. Joyce explains how a scarcity mindset impacts both personal and professional lives, often driven by three toxic fears that manifest in our behaviors and decisions. We explore the pervasive belief that "more is better" and its detrimental consequences on business and personal development. Joyce provides insightful strategies to shift from the belief that "there is not enough" to cultivating a mindset of sufficiency.
We also discuss how sufficiency is not an amount but an experience, and Joyce shares practical ways to cultivate this experience in our lives. Addressing common misconceptions about sufficiency, Joyce reveals how perspective shapes our experience of abundance or lack, particularly regarding time and money. She introduces the three truths of sufficiency, guiding individuals toward a more abundant mindset.
Tune in to gain insights and practical strategies to overcome the lies of scarcity and embrace a life of abundance and sufficiency.
00:00 Introduction
00:37 What is Scarcity Mindset?
02:59 The lies of Scarcity Mindset
04:41 The 3 toxic fears of Scarcity Mindset
05:01 #1: More is better
05:49 #2: There is not enough
07:00 #3: That’s just the way it is
08:58 Sufficiency Mindset vs Scarcity Mindset
11:55 The 3 Truths of Sufficiency Mindset
12:26 #1: Money is like water, you direct where it goes
15:17 #2: What we appreciate, appreciates
17:11 #3: Collaboration creates prosperity
19:13 How to cultivate self-worth beyond external measures of success
21:39 Soul Domain vs Money Domain
24:00 Final thoughts
25:35 Exercise: Sufficiency Meditation
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Get connected with Joyce: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joyce-chen-coach/
Additional resources:
The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership by Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, and Kaley Klemp: https://amzn.to/3UXJFgL
The Soul of Money by Lynn Twist: https://amzn.to/3UW2kcL
Take a scarcity inventory using this handout from The Conscious Leadership Group to increase awareness around how scarcity lives in your life: https://bit.ly/3KjdYtu -
#7: Redefining Success: Inside The Mind Of 31-Year-Old Retiree Ashish Kumar
Embark on a thought-provoking journey as we delve into the life and philosophy of Ashish Kumar, a former top PSLE scorer turned 31-year-old retiree. In this captivating episode, we navigate through a series of insightful topics, each unveiling a different facet of Ashish's unconventional perspectives.
From his formative years and the influence of studying overseas to his experiences as a civil servant in Singapore, we explore the factors that shaped Ashish's unique perspective on life and work. Along the way, we confront pressing questions about employment, early retirement, and the pursuit of personal freedom in a society bound by expectations.
Join me as we dissect the essence of Ashish Kumar, examining the values and principles that define his existence beyond the confines of traditional success. With each chapter, we peel back the layers of conventional wisdom, challenging misconceptions and igniting introspection. As we navigate through Ashish's story, we are reminded of the importance of living authentically and aligning our actions with our deepest values.
Prepare to be inspired, provoked, and enlightened as we embark on this journey of exploration with Ashish Kumar.
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Ashish Kumar here: https://youtube.com/@ashishxiangyikumar?si=uW9XwGaMnwr0q_lN
00:00 Introduction
00:22 Getting to know Ashish Kumar
03:04 The impact of his upbringing
05:39 The influence of studying overseas
09:28 Ashish's Experience as a Singaporean Bureaucrat
14:26 Addressing the challenges & limitations of employment
16:00 Early retirement: A privilege, a choice, or both?
19:11 Navigating the divide between work and personal Life
22:13 What defines Ashish Kumar: Unpacking identity and values
24:50 Pursuing freedom & challenging societal expectations
30:47 Systemic changes towards a flexible work culture
33:31 The dilemma of commitment in pursuit of freedom
34:49 Misconceptions of early retirement
37:03 Reflections on a meaningful life
40:33 The Deathbed Exercise
41:33 Surprising insights after early retirement
45:58 Final thoughts -
#6: Practical Marriage Advice From America’s Top Divorce Attorney James Sexton
Join me for an insightful conversation with James Sexton, America's Divorce Lawyer whose expertise extends far beyond the courtroom. With over two decades of experience on the front lines of divorce, James offers a unique perspective on relationships, love, and resilience.
Throughout our discussion, James shares invaluable insights gleaned from witnessing the intricacies of countless relationships unraveling. From uncovering the underlying reasons behind relationship breakdowns to exploring real-life examples of "reverse engineering" relationships, we delve into the complexities of maintaining lasting connections.
In addition to sharing memorable cases from his career, James offers practical advice for rebuilding after divorce and discusses the essential ingredients for long-term relationship success.
Tune in for a conversation you won't want to miss as we navigate the highs and lows of love and relationships with James Sexton.
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow James Sexton here: https://www.instagram.com/nycdivorcelawyer/
00:00 Introduction
01:11 Get to know James Sexton
04:28 Unveiling the root cause of marital breakdowns
10:25 Red Flags in Relationships: Recognising Warning Signs
15:48 Focusing on what truly matters
17:28 The art of effective communication
22:19 Reverse-engineering relationships to solve disconnection
25:58 The pitfalls of keeping scores in relationships
28:57 Navigating societal expectations in your relationships
34:28 Normalising couples therapy, counseling, and vulnerability
38:58 How do you rebuild confidence after a divorce?
45:22 Advice James Sexton would give to his younger self
47:44 Final thoughts