Calm the Chaos Parenting Dayna Abraham

Episode 50: 
In this episode, we interview Libby Ward about breaking the cycle of unhealthy patterns in parenting. Libby shares her personal journey of realizing the need for change and becoming a cycle breaker. 
Libby, a passionate advocate for authentic motherhood, discusses how confronting past traumas and embracing emotional honesty can lead to profound personal and familial growth.
This episode provides not only a deep dive into the psychological shifts necessary for breaking unhealthy cycles but also offers practical tools and heartfelt encouragement for those feeling overwhelmed by the demands of parenting. 
Libby's candid sharing and the introduction of her thoughtfully designed journal serve as invaluable resources for anyone looking to foster a more empathetic and supportive family environment.
Key Moments: 
[00:00] Introduction and Background: Introduction to the episode’s theme and Libby’s journey towards changing her parenting style to foster a safer and more loving environment.[03:42] Recognizing the Need for Change: Libby shares a personal story that highlights a critical morning that sparked her realization of needing to change her approach to parenting.[08:47] Understanding the Signs of Unhealthy Patterns: Discussion on how to recognize and interpret the signs of negative parenting patterns that may be passed down.[11:27] Dealing with Guilt and Shame: Strategies to effectively manage the feelings of guilt and shame that can arise from parenting missteps.[15:47] Breaking the Cycle: Definition and Examples: What does it mean to "break the cycle"? Libby provides definitions and examples of how parents can alter harmful family dynamics.[23:49] Moving from Awareness to Action: Tips on how to move from recognizing issues to actively making changes in parenting behavior.[29:25] Embracing Imperfection and Accountability: Libby emphasizes the importance of acknowledging one's imperfections as a parent and the power of accountability in healing and growth.[33:32] Journaling as a Tool for Self-Reflection: Introduction to journaling as a practical tool to aid parents in their journey towards deeper self-awareness and intentionality.[35:06] Overview of the Journal: Detailed look at the structure and benefits of Libby’s journal, designed to guide parents through self-reflection and improvement.[39:05] Closing Remarks and Encouragement: Final thoughts and encouragement for parents, emphasizing the journey of continuous improvement and the importance of small steps towards change.
Additional Resources:
The Honest Mom Journal with Libby Challenge: 5 Days to Feel Better in Motherhood. (a free *journal with Libby* 5 day challenge meant to encourage moms who are struggling to try journaling to improve how they are feeling.)Honest Mom Journal by Libby WardThe Honest Mom website The Honest Mom on Instagram
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breaking the cycle, parenting podcast, Libby Ward, authentic motherhood, emotional honesty, parenting tools, parental guilt, parental shame, cycle breaking, generational trauma, mindful parenting, family growth, emotional regulation, self-awareness, parenting tips, motherhood journey, practical parenting advice, supportive family environment, Calm the Chaos Parenting, Dayna Abraham

Episode 49: 
Welcome to another episode of the Calm the Chaos Parenting Podcast, where this week we're tackling a topic that can make any parent squirm—puberty. Joined by experts Kara and Vanessa of ‘This is So Awkward’, we delve into the messy, awkward, and absolutely essential discussions about the physical and emotional rollercoasters of puberty. From early breast buds to mood swings, this episode covers it all with humor, empathy, and expert insight.
Are you struggling to discuss puberty with your child without making it feel like a catastrophe? Does the thought of talking about body changes, sexuality, or mood swings fill you with dread?
You're not alone. 
Many parents feel unprepared and uncomfortable when the inevitable questions about puberty arise. The fear of saying the wrong thing, the awkwardness of the topics, and personal baggage from our own experiences can make these conversations feel overwhelming.
This episode provides practical strategies and compassionate insights to help you approach puberty talks with confidence. Kara and Vanessa, through their extensive experience and relatable anecdotes, demonstrate how to break down complex topics into manageable, non-awkward discussions. Learn how to navigate these essential conversations with humor and understanding, making puberty a topic that can be discussed openly and without shame.
Key Takeaways: 
[00:01:00] Early Signs of Puberty: Vanessa highlights how signs like behavioral changes or unexpected physical developments can signal that puberty is starting earlier than many parents anticipate.
[00:03:00] Duration and Misconceptions of Puberty: Kara clarifies the common misconception about the duration of puberty, explaining that it can extend well into the late teen years, far beyond what many assume.
[00:05:00] Reducing Awkwardness in Discussions: Dayna shares personal stories and insights on making puberty talks less awkward, emphasizing the role of humor and openness in these essential conversations.
[00:08:00] Strategies for Manageable Conversations: The episode offers practical tips on breaking down the daunting puberty discussion into smaller, more digestible parts to make the topic less overwhelming for both children and parents.
[00:12:00] Handling Personal Baggage: It's discussed how important it is for parents to process their own experiences and traumas related to puberty, to better support and understand their children during these transformative years.
[00:15:00] Physical Changes Indicating Puberty: Kara and Vanessa discuss the early physical signs of puberty, such as breast budding in girls and testicular growth in boys, helping parents recognize these initial changes.
[00:18:00] Emotional Changes and Behavioral Effects: Insights into how hormonal fluctuations can lead to mood swings and emotional volatility during puberty, with advice on how parents can support their children through these shifts.
[00:21:00] Ensuring Inclusive and Respectful Communication: The importance of using inclusive language and a respectful approach when discussing the diverse experiences of puberty is emphasized, ensuring that all children feel seen and supported.
Additional Resources:
This is So Awkward Book by Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll-Bennet: https://amzn.to/4d5N19H Less Awkward Podcast and More: https://lessawkward.com/ Calm the Chaos: A Fail-proof Roadmap for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids: 
"Understanding puberty is about more than just anticipating physical changes; it's about preparing for the emotional rollercoaster and knowing how to support your child through it." — Kara
This episode provides invaluable advice for parents navigating the often turbulent waters of puberty discussions. Tune in to learn how to approach these talks with confidence, ensuring a healthier and more understanding dialogue with your child.

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Ever felt like no matter how hard you try, staying focused and organized just doesn't come naturally? You're not alone. 
Jessica McCabe, creator of How to ADHD, shares her own struggles and revelations in "ADHD Explained with Jessica McCabe," a must-watch for anyone grappling with these challenges. Jessica's journey from confusion to clarity on ADHD sheds light on the misunderstood aspects of living with ADHD, from the frustration of misdiagnosis to the empowerment of understanding your brain.
"Every month or three months, I would go to the doctor and it would be, 'how are your meds working for you?' 
'Yeah. Good.' 
'Any side effects?'
 'No? Cool. Here's a prescription.' 
And that was it. Nobody ever asked me if my life was working," Jessica recounts her early experiences with ADHD treatment. This episode dives into the heart of ADHD, not just as a deficit of attention, but as a complex interplay of focus, motivation, and executive functioning challenges that many find overwhelming.
Jessica doesn't just share her story; she offers a lifeline. 
From practical tips for enhancing focus and managing daily tasks to leveraging the unique strengths of ADHD, this conversation is a toolkit for those seeking to work with their brain, not against it. Discover why understanding ADHD goes beyond medication, how societal perceptions are shifting, and what strategies can truly make a difference in managing ADHD.
Armed with insights from her YouTube channel, How to ADHD, and her book, "How to ADHD: An Insider's Guide to Working with Your Brain, Not Against It," Jessica offers solutions that are as real and attainable as they are transformative. Whether you're a parent, a partner, or someone on a personal journey with ADHD, this episode is a step towards embracing the chaos and turning it into your greatest asset.
Key Takeaways: 
[00:00:30] Jessica's early misunderstanding of her ADHD diagnosis and its implications.[00:02:00] The revelation that ADHD is more than just a focus issue.[00:03:00] Introduction to Jessica McCabe and her work on How to ADHD.[00:08:00] The transformative power of understanding one's own brain and the importance of external structures in managing ADHD.[00:14:00] The concept of "brains and hearts" – understanding ADHD from both personal and supportive perspectives.[00:18:00] The critical role of education and tools in managing ADHD effectively.[00:24:00] Insights into executive functioning and the unique motivational needs of ADHD brains.[00:30:00] Practical strategies for enhancing focus, managing executive function challenges, and fostering motivation.
Additional Resources:
How to ADHD YouTube Channel: [Insert Link]"How to ADHD: An Insider's Guide to Working with Your Brain, Not Against It" by Jessica McCabe: [Insert Link]Calm the Chaos: A Fail-proof Roadmap for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids: 
Today's episode is not just about understanding ADHD; it's about embracing the journey of self-discovery and leveraging unique strengths. Whether you're navigating ADHD yourself, supporting a loved one, or simply seeking to understand the condition better, Jessica's insights and strategies offer hope, empowerment, and a path forward.
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If you found value in this episode, don't forget to like, subscribe, and share this video with anyone who might benefit from a deeper understanding of ADHD. Join our community for more episodes that empower you through knowledge and connection. Remember, understanding is the first step toward positive change.
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Parents who find themselves on the path of raising a child with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), the journey can often feel like navigating uncharted territory. PDA, a profile within the autism spectrum, involves a child’s intense need to avoid everyday demands and expectations due to anxiety, not willfulness. This episode sheds light on the complexities of PDA, offering a beacon of understanding and support.
Joining us in this enlightening conversation is Steph Curtis, author and parent who has navigated the world of PDA with her daughter, Sasha. Steph brings us into her world, sharing the initial struggles, the pivotal moments of realization, and the strategies that have made a difference in her family's life. 
This episode is a deep dive into what PDA is, how it differs from other autism spectrum behaviors, and the importance of recognizing and understanding these differences.
Key Takeaways: 
Understanding PDA [00:00:00]: Introduction to Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and its differentiation from other autism spectrum behaviors.Steph Curtis's Personal Journey [00:05:00]: Steph shares her initial challenges and the journey to understanding her daughter's PDA.Adaptive Strategies and Mindset Shifts [00:15:00]: Insights into the importance of flexibility and creativity in supporting a child with PDA.Navigating External Pressures and Advocacy [00:25:00]: Managing societal pressures and advocating for PDA awareness and support.Empowering Resources and Community Support [00:35:00]: Highlighting essential resources and community support for families navigating PDA.The Transformative Power of Understanding [00:45:00]: The importance of understanding and accepting your child's unique needs.A Hopeful Outlook for Families [00:55:00]: Offering hope and emphasizing the potential for children with PDA to thrive.
Additional Resources:
To further your understanding and find support on your journey with PDA, we recommend the following resources:
Steph's Two Girls Blog - Steph Curtis shares her personal journey, strategies, and insights into parenting a child with PDA . PDA in the Family- Steph’s new book about life after the lightbulb moment and parenting her PDA daughter PDA Society - Offers comprehensive guides, resources, and community support for families and professionals (Website).Educators Experience of Pathological Demand Avoidance- It gives a really clear picture of what it is like to have PDA and some excellent ideas of how to help in school and college . "Can I Tell You About Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome?" - A resource book told from the viewpoint of an 11-year-old girl, making it accessible for younger audiences.Calm the Chaos: A Fail-proof Roadmap for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids: While this book is not specifically about PDA or the experience, it is a guide to help parents navigate challenges from an empathetic and understanding point of view. 
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For those navigating the parenting journey with a child showing signs of PDA, this episode offers valuable insights, shared experiences, and hope. Remember, understanding, connection, and adaptation are key to fostering a nurturing environment for your child.
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Episode 46: In this eye-opening episode of The Calm the Chaos Parenting Podcast, join Dayna as she sits down with Amanda Diekmann, the visionary author behind "Low Demand Parenting." 
Dive into a conversation that illuminates the struggles many children face with everyday demands and expectations, revealing insights into a parenting approach that's changing lives by reducing stress and building stronger, more connected families.
Amanda shares her personal journey, the science behind demand sensitivity, and practical tips for parents to navigate the high-expectation world we live in. Whether you're a parent to a demand-sensitive child or simply looking for ways to foster a deeper connection with your children, this episode is packed with actionable insights, strategies, and a fresh perspective on what it means to be a good parent in today's demanding world.
Join us in this enlightening conversation as we explore a new lens through which to view our parenting challenges, inviting us to embrace a kinder, more attuned way of relating to our children and ourselves.
Key Takeaways: 
Understanding Demand Sensitivity [00:02:00]: Amanda introduces the concept of demand sensitivity, highlighting how everyday expectations can become overwhelming obstacles for some children, leading to stress and refusal.
The Birth of Low Demand Parenting [00:04:00]: Discover the origins of low demand parenting and its application beyond its initial discovery within the autism community, offering a universal perspective on the challenges of modern expectations.
Navigating the World of Expectations [00:06:00]: Learn practical strategies for identifying and reducing demands in daily family life, emphasizing the importance of matching expectations with children's actual capacities.
The Impact of Internalized Demands [00:09:00]: Explore the deeper implications of our expectations and how redefining what it means to be a good parent can lead to more fulfilling parenting.
Building a Trusting Relationship [00:12:00]: Understand why reducing demands fosters a stronger, more trusting relationship between parents and children, debunking the notion that this approach is permissive.
Empowering Children Through Autonomy [00:18:00]: Insights into how low demand parenting empowers children by fostering autonomy, leading to increased self-confidence and independence over time.
The Role of Parental Reflection [00:21:00]: The importance of parental reflection in the low demand parenting approach, emphasizing the need for parents to examine their own reactions and adapt their strategies to meet their children's needs effectively.
Additional Resources:
Low Demand Parenting by Amanda Diekman: Dive deeper into Amanda's pioneering approach with her comprehensive book, available in both physical and audiobook formats.
Low Demand Summit: Amanda shares details about her upcoming summit, featuring a lineup of experts discussing various aspects of low demand parenting. A can't-miss event for anyone interested in this transformative approach.
Calm the Chaos: calmthechaosbook.com 
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Whether you're dealing with demand-sensitive children or simply looking to create a more understanding and supportive family environment, this episode is a must-listen. 
Amanda's expertise and compassionate approach offer a new lens through which to view our parenting challenges, inviting us to embrace a kinder, more attuned way of relating to our children and ourselves.
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Episode 45: Today we are diving into the heart of parenting neurodivergent children with a focus on Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). Our guest, Amy, shares her personal journey navigating the complexities of raising two neurodivergent children, shedding light on the often misunderstood topic of PDA. Discover how Amy transformed her approach to communication, moving beyond conventional parenting strategies that often led to frustration and disconnect. This episode offers a deep dive into the strategies that foster genuine connection, understanding, and empowerment for both parents and children facing similar challenges.
Key Takeaways: 
Understanding Neurodivergence and PDA [00:02:00] - Amy introduces her family's journey with autism and ADHD, focusing on the unique challenges of PDA.
The Isolation of Parenting Neurodivergent Children [00:04:00] - Amy discusses the loneliness and chaos of trying to navigate parenting without a supportive community.
Shifting From Discipline to Connection [00:05:00] - A look at how changing from traditional disciplinary methods to focusing on connection can drastically improve family dynamics.
Creating Safety Through Connection [00:09:00] - The importance of connecting through a safe nervous system and the impact of non-verbal communication.
Strategies for Communicating with PDA Children [00:11:00] - Amy shares specific examples of how altering communication strategies has helped reduce conflicts.
The Transformation Journey [00:16:00] - Insight into the significant shifts in Amy's family, highlighting the decrease in meltdown severity and improved understanding.
Empowerment Through Planning and Reflection [00:20:00] - The pivotal role of creating personalized plans and reflecting on daily interactions for continued progress.
Additional Resources:
Calm the Chaos Framework: calmthechaosbook.com 
Understanding PDA in Neurodivergent Children: PDA Society: https://pdasociety.org.uk
Low Demand Parenting by Amanda Diekman
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Remember, you're not alone in your parenting journey. Together, we can find the strength, resources, and community to navigate the complexities of raising neurodivergent children with compassion and understanding.
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