Episode 17: Jo Part 1 Head of a Codfish: A podcast about modern working families

In Episode 17, I interview Jo who is balancing a high-level career and being a single parent to twin girls. We talk about life as a single parent, the real cost of work travel for a parent, and the double-edged guilt sword of carer's leave.



The Lowdown



- Family of 3

- 1 working parent (0.8)

- 2 school-aged children

- Grandparents providing after-school care







3:23 Sleep!

4:20 Focusing on children when they are awake

4:38 Buffer at the end of the day before sleep

5:02 Decompressing before sleep

7:18 Important things (like podcast interviews!) done after kids bedtime

7:51 Morning routines

8:16 Pocket money for getting ready on time in the morning

10:40 Rewards that can apply to just one child

11:12 Who are the people in your family

11:22 Single parent with twin 10-year-old daughters

11:40 Current workload - paid and unpaid

12:22 School drops offs

12:54 Grandparents cover school pickup and after-school activities

13:16 The 'good' kind of after-school activity

14:02 Autopilot pickup fails

14:46 Grandparent/grandchild relationship

16:19 Having other authority figures involved

17:00 Always have to be the bad cop, grandpa can be the good cop

18:14 Parenting superpower

18:16 Knowing my kids and what drives them

19:33 The 'hangry' child

20: 01 Sense of justice

20:50 Looking at things a different way

22:04 Not just doing everything really slowly

23:50 Can drive you mad but at the same time you don't want them to lose their childlike ways

24:04 Balance between developing a useful adult and breaking them

25:26 Being a twin mum requires you to be more task focused and not always enjoying the moment

26:38 Random supermarket twin mum encounter

27:42 Different stages with twins - separation, getting mobile

28:06 Twin mum a mothers group with mums of singles

29:24 STOP!

30:10 What works well?

30:22 Children on the same page

31:50 Grandparents support

32:18 Side steps the 'management' of OSHC

33:02 Having a manager who has a single mum

33:39 The mummy button

33:52 Attending a work conference as a single parent

34:10 Travel allowance including childcare costs?

35:45 The real cost of work travel to a family

37:36 Is the extra load OK for partners and families

37:48 Be organised

38:36 What doesn't work well

38:44 Doesn't take much to throw things off kilter

39:28 The two types of guilt, maternal guilt and employee guilt

39:56 Employee guilt 'wins' often due to working 0.8

40:50 You don't get a medal either way

41:56 The difficulty of being the driver for change in a workplace

42:26 What is the next step for your family?

42:34 Working full time

42:30 Children looking at future employment options

43:56 Making children aware of finances and implications of choices

44:22 Entitlement in children

45:16 Entitlement in monetary and non-monetary terms

46:36 Pocket money for doing chores around the house?

47:12 That's what our family does

48:16 Life is an adventure

48:58 Is family life what you thought it would be?

49:08 NO!

50:18 Modelling healthy relationships to children problematic

52:12 Having twins

53:27 There are 2 heartbeats!

55:28 Wish people were more honest about life with a newborn

56:24 It is not all a nappy commercial

57:20 Different personality types deal with it better

58:08 Away from all family when having small babies