But First Me Mary Ellen and Anirban Saha

OK we've think we've finally got our title sorted....!

Find out what we're going to be diving into this season!

Grab our FREE resources from this season here ⁠https://www.maryellensaha.com/free⁠




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Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/butfirstme/message

Grab our FREE resources from this season here ⁠⁠https://www.maryellensaha.com/free⁠⁠



Like the title of the Sinead O’Connor album - how can we all practice “I do not want what I have not got”?
This week’s podcast covers how comparison is truly the thief of joy. Anirban sharing why he feels JEALOUS. He rides the waves of online lows and screen time highs in the age of ENVY.
Where does green with envy come from?
How is feeling jealous different than feeling envy?

MaryEllen feels envious Anirban’s dad’s birthday celebrations now her own has died. Showing how grief ambushes can surprise us at any time.

We share our stories about comparison on socials in our crazy over-connected, over-sharing, 24/7 attention economy.
We discuss how accepting these feelings can help us to grow, and take action to change, rather than lead us to feeling guilty about partaking in one of seven deadly sins!

The antidote to envy is what?

Of course with all the usual Bengali flavour and Irish Gaeilge wise words




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MaryEllen grieves openly for her dead parents. Anirban finds purpose in his feelings of LOSS. Anirban talks about finding his purpose after learning to cope with the deaths of two friends. He explores how his Bengali culture embraces grieving and how the stress of these losses led him to follow the path of his Indian ancestors to train in Vedic meditation.

We dissect the bad habit of pretending, whether at work or in the street, that we don't feel yearning and longing after a bereavement or a bad breakup. We talk about how Irish culture embraces the storytelling element of loss and how it has healed Mary Ellen. She shares her vulnerability, her tears and the self-growth she has experienced through journaling and mediating since both her parents have died.

Mary Ellen coaches us on how it's a happiness habit to sit with uncomfortable feelings like grief. She explores our daily occurrences of loss and how we can reduce our stress if we permit ourselves to feel loss regularly. She highlights how loss occurs often in many ways, big and small and not just when a loved one dies. It includes divorce, job loss and redundancy. She embraces loss as normal and not something we can avoid. She guides us to see it’s human to yearn for what we don't have.

RESOURCES
We believe in your emotional potential so we're sharing our FREE Feelings Cheat Sheet on hapits.com and on our Instagram hapits_com. We can all have better relationships and more purpose if we practice embracing ALL feelings. If we FEEL IT TO REVEAL IT, emotional flexibility can become one of our happiness habits.
We strongly encourage you to try out the happiness habit of labeling and journaling your feelings. Please do let us know how you get on; we'd love to hear from you. Just email us at here@futrnow.org.
You can also purchase our Hapits® Online Course, which includes our coaching cards used throughout this podcast; https://hapits.com/buy_hapits/

BOOK etc.
Grieving Mindfully by Sameet Kumar.
Atlas of the Heart by Brène Brown




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This week we explore the feeling of serenity.








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Whatever sparks joy is easy to do!

Sitting in silence can be joyful. Can you create a Myfi zone?

How meditation can be like running, if you enjoy the feeling of your body as it runs.

Let go of end results and idea of meditation as a chore or another thing to do.
Simple silence can feel so great, if we let go of destination of what we get out of it or what we achieve

There is a lot of active doing even in popular meditation apps. Can we take the app out of happiness?

Ancient Irish wisdom and sitting in silence - where the name Quietize Mór meditation comes from.

Most of us are tired and busy cause we’re doing mode yet quietize can improve your sleep and is as effective as a nap.

How do you feel after you sit in silence? Experience it and check in.

The myth of complete silence, sitting upright and other meditation BS.

Quietize Meditation can be done anywhere anytime, yes even on the London tube!

Sweetness of quiet time, so delicious you’ll want to sticky sweet repeat it!

Within busy family life do you help your significant other to carve out silent time? How can you do that?

The Song of Amergin, from ancient Irish culture and how those soothing Irish sounds help us connect to our inner creativity.


BOOK etc.
Thirty Two Words For A Field by
Manchán Magan
Bliss More by Light Watkins




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Joy Part 1: This week’s podcast covers how the feeling of joy comes in many shapes and sizes as well as many types of pizza slices!

Bliss can come from brown bread fresh from the oven or a drum beat, guitar lick or jazz notes.

We chat about our mother tongues and how joy is often associated with childhood pleasures and memories. 

Parenting joy or parenting grind? How Anirban has become a more emotionally intelligent parent. 

Present moment awareness is where joy truly lives. We access joy via our our five senses; through smells, tastes, sounds, tastes and of course sights. 

Are you aware of your fleeting moments of bliss with others or with nature? 

Joy allows us to connect the dots creatively and relationally. How positive emotions can lift us up, to feel SO BRILLIANT.

Joy and the flow state are connected (see previous podcast on pride for flow state info).

Joy also is a motivator and increases our self-confidence. Activism and protesting can be pleasureful and blissful.

Joy can be found in minimalism and tidying and organising.

Mary Ellen has been dopamine dressing since 1990, or even before with her mum’s clothes, which brings her daily joy.

Try a mindful moment with your favourite CUPPA or a teddy shower with your kids! 

Resources:
Soul film by Pixar Disney 
Song of The Sea (in Irish Amhrán na Mara) 2014 by Cartoon Saloon by Tomm Moore 
Amelie 2001 French film 
Motherland TV series written by Sharon Horgan BBC 
Redefining Feminism - Masterclass with Gloria Steinem et al. 
Mad Men HBO series - Don Draper lead character 
Feeling Myself by Nicki Minaj featuring Beyoncé 
Less is Now by The Minimalists on Netflix 

Books:
Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown 
Tree Dogs, Banshee Fingers and other Irish words for Nature by Manchán Magan
Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting by Jon Kabat Zinn 
Emotion Coaching by John and Julie Gottman 
Pleasure Activism by Adrienne Marie Brown 
Spark Joy by Marie Kondo




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