Understanding how your partner starts fights and provokes you... and what you can do about it Closeness

This is admittedly a dense episode. It's less about the usual sexy and thought provoking ideas we usually explore and more about the inane conflicts that arise in relationship which prevent us from experiencing true intimacy or a great connection! Fighting is often trite, exhausting and most couple's can't even remember what their last ten or twenty petty fights were all about. While some altercations may be symptomatic of a deeper issue, others can simply be avoided with a little presence. In this episode we'll teach you how to understand and navigate conflict in a healthy way.







Chapters: 0:00 Introduction







1:59 Conflict is usually the result of a repetitive action







3:20 Cause and effect







9:54 Some partners enjoy provoking you



11:10 Indirect vs direct: 20 minutes of bad behavior







24:02 Another 10 minutes of bad behavior







30:30 A logic based universe







32:30 When something parasitic occurs in the brain







37:22 No one actually knows how to be vulnerable today







38:56 Blindsiding your partner will lead to confusion and negative reactions







40:25 The elusive world of feelings







42:15 When people think all feelings are valid and should be validated







48:45 Understanding intuition







50:45 Text fights







53:30 Engaging in psychological warfare







53:56 When you're already a present, honest and accountable partner but they keep tanking







55:30 When you've done nothing to violate trust







58:00 Defending yourself is often not in your best interest







1:03:00 Are you focusing on what's working or the lack of it?







1:04:05 When you just have a stormy partner







1:05:25 It's natural to get defensive after poking the pair or being prodded







1:06:15 You cannot be infinitely patient with bad behavior







1:07:28 Playin the armchair psychologist







1:10:46 Outro