Hey Friend Hey Friend

When our friends are hurting we often respond in unhelpful ways, like simply saying "everything happens for a reason" or offering unsolicited advice. Want to know a better way to support friends who are going through difficult times? In this episode we outline how to NOT respond your friend’s suffering and offer a simple guide for a better way.


Show Up: Be present for your friend. Don't abandon them in their pain.
Shut Up: Listen attentively. Don't try to fix their situation or tell them your own story.

Look at the story of Jesus and Lazarus' death as an example: Jesus didn't try to minimize Lazarus' death or offer empty platitudes. He wept with them, showing compassion and sharing their grief.

This episode challenges the common ways we identify true friends.



While having things in common and enjoying each other’s company are positive aspects of friendship and often our default way to assess whether someone is a real friend, the Bible offers a deeper perspective.



True friends have a “shared heart;” a deep connection based on faith and mutual respect. They can be different from you, but they challenge you to grow and forgive your mistakes. Loyal friends are there through thick and thin, and they even pray for you. Ultimately, their highest commitment is to God, which strengthens their ability to love you.



Use the Bible, not cultural standards, to evaluate their friendships.

In our last episode, we delved into the thorny subject of gossip. As we continue the discussion today, we'll be providing strategies to help you navigate through the gossip-laden world we live in.

Just for a quick recap, we previously discussed how gossip, from a biblical perspective, is inherently damaging. It involves the unauthorized sharing of information that can tarnish someone's reputation. As Christians, we're called to spread good news and uplift others with our speech (Ephesians 4:29).

Key Discussion Points

1. Handling Gossiping Friends

- Mike's story: A case of disarming gossip through humble confession
- Exiting the conversation: Why it can sometimes be the best action
- The Christian approach: Having candid discussions about the harmful effects of gossip

2. Dealing with Workplace Gossip

- Non-participation: Why it’s important to refrain from contributing to gossip
- Direct communication: Encouraging gossipers to address their concerns with the person involved

3. Overcoming Personal Gossip Habits

- Self-reflection: Understanding the root cause of the desire to gossip (Matthew 12:34-37)
- Motive identification: Recognizing underlying incentives such as the need for acceptance or a desire to harm others

4. Combatting Gossip Targeted at You

- Finding inspiration: Drawing strength from Psalm 55 and Jesus' experiences of betrayal
- Self-evaluation: Checking for any truth in the gossip and having honest conversations with the source(s)



While we can't control others' words, we hold complete control over ours. As stated by James, gaining mastery over our tongue leads to mastery over our entire selves. We encourage you to be intentional with your words, using them to uplift and encourage those around us.

The Bible takes a strong stance against gossip, seeing it as a harmful behavior with far-reaching consequences. Why? Because words have power according to the Bible, and gossip wields that power for destruction rather than for good.

The original languages of the Bible use terms to describe gossips, terms like "talebearer" and "slanderer." These terms highlight the malicious intent behind gossip. It's not just sharing information; it's spreading negativity and rumors, often with the goal of damaging someone's reputation.

Even seemingly harmless words can fall under the umbrella of gossip from a Christian perspective. Jesus, in Matthew 12, warns against careless and idle words, indicating that gossip isn't limited to just malicious intent. Careless words can still cause harm and spread negativity.

God offers us alternative way of using our words: to build others up and spread grace. This doesn't necessarily mean suppressing your emotions entirely. Ephesians 4:29 emphasizes this concept, urging us to speak in a way that offers encouragement and grace to both the listener and the person being spoken about.

Does your speech build others up in grace?

In today's culture, the idea of cutting off "toxic" people is prevalent, especially in the realm of social media and heated political discourse. But is this approach biblical? Join us as we delve into the scriptural perspective on ending friendships, examining passages from 1 Corinthians and the teachings of Jesus. We define what constitutes a toxic relationship according to biblical principles, offering insights beyond mere personal discomfort. Through real-life examples and practical advice, learn how to identify and address toxic friendships with grace and discernment. Discover the biblical process of confrontation and the importance of setting boundaries, all while honoring the principles of love and forgiveness. Don't miss this enlightening discussion on navigating relationships through a biblical lens.

In Ephesians 4:25-32, we're reminded to speak truthfully, manage our anger with grace, and choose our words carefully, always aiming to uplift others. Forgiveness is the heart of these discussions, a beacon guiding us through the storm of hard conversations.



So, what does it truly mean to live out these principles in our friendships? How do we balance honesty with compassion? These are the questions we'll unpack together.



Now, for some practical guidance:




Start with clarity. Know your goal in the conversation to stay on track.
When you initiate talks, focus on expressing your feelings rather than pointing fingers.
Seek to understand before seeking to be understood. Ask questions and listen deeply.
Above all, suspend judgment and approach each other with empathy and goodwill.



Picture this: a circle of friends where honesty reigns, where understanding flows, and where love abounds despite imperfections. Isn't that the kind of community we all crave? You can take the first step by inviting your friends into these meaningful exchanges. Ask them sincerely how you can grow as a friend, and listen to their responses with an open heart.