Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo Christian Parenting

For our Summer of Stories, I got the pleasure of interviewing a dear friend Rachel Faulkner Brown about her incredibly hard and beautiful life. In the first half of this episode, we talk about her journey with losing two husbands and walking that grief journey twice. She shares so much wisdom for other widows as well as practical tips for all of us enduring life’s toughest pain.

In the second half of our chat, Rachel bravely shares about their family’s most recent struggle - an eating disorder that quickly took a grip on her daughter. She provides invaluable insight and practical advice from the deeply painful journey they have walked.

My favorite part of the interview is when she shares honestly about the shame we can feel as mothers. As she watched her daughter walk through the hardest season of her life - she was also faced with a choice to hold onto that control or release her to God. We all have these moments in parenting and we can learn so much from Rachel’s incredible faith journey.

I’m so thrilled for you to get to know Rachel. She is a dear friend and a woman that has experienced God’s goodness throughout some of the deepest pain in her life. You will be inspired by her calling to pass on the love of God and hope to others’ in their darkest days.

In this episode, we chat about:
How to practically move forward when you lose your spouseHow to wrestle with God when horribly hard things happenHow to lean into God when life is upside downHow to love our kids when it’s hard and you must release controlHow to parent a child with an eating disorder
Chapters
00:00
Introduction and Background
10:46
The Importance of Honesty and Community
30:28
The Need for Aggressive Treatment
39:07
The Healing Journey and Future Hope
48:17
Prayer and Encouragement for Mothers

Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess 
Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Never Alone Widows 

Father's House Bible Study

There is More podcast 

Podcast with Rachel’s daughter about her eating disorder - Part 1

Podcast with Rachel’s daughter about her eating disorder - Part 1

Reverend Joanne Moody

St. Teresa of Avila Quote

Healing prayer - resource 1

Healing prayer - resource 2


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Welcome to week 1 of our Summer of Stories series! For the next 10 weeks, you will hear one powerful story after another. We are featuring 10 stories of incredible moms that have endured significant challenges. Through these stories, we pray you will remember that God is faithful and always with you through life’s most challenging moments.

Today’s guest is my dear friend, Joy Phenix, who bravely shares her journey of losing her amazing son. Her story of loss and indescribable grief is so very hard to hear but oddly peaceful and sacred. 

My favorite part is when she encourages us to be a student of others’ grief journey. Every single person grieves at different times and in different ways. We cannot judge our friends or family members on that journey. This takes patience and grace and understanding. 

This episode is for anyone walking in grief - not just the loss of a child. All of us have seasons of tragedy and unthinkable hard times. We want to know how to trust God again and how to move forward in the midst of the pain. Joy will touch your heart in a profound way. I am deeply thankful for her willingness to share her story to help others. 

In this episode we chat about: 
How to endure the indescribable journey of losing a childHow we can help and support friends in their grief How to remember each person grieves differently and at unique timesHow to normalize talking about grief through the process 
00:00
Introduction and Catching Up
09:16
The Power of Community in Times of Loss
15:30
Finding Hope and Healing Through Faith
28:25
Cherishing Memories and Finding Healing
34:38
Vulnerability and Trust in Difficult Times

Enjoy!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess 
Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:
Josh’s Celebration Service
Joy’s Instagram
Body Keeps The Score


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Comedian Michael Jr went from living in his car to one of the most influential and talented comedians in the country. In fact, he used to open the show for Jerry Seinfeld and went on to headline his own shows. He is now sharing the stage with his wife, Ebony, as they focus on strengthening marriages across the country.

This engaging couple shares many great pieces of wisdom and insight during our episode, but I really enjoyed how they speak about conflict. It’s so easy to avoid conflict at all costs. They encourage us to utilize conflict for the greatness of marriage 

My favorite part (or least favorite) was when Michael Jr. asked me to share honestly about a recent disagreement I had with Ron. He went through the list of the fruit of the Spirit to see how I was handling a specific situation. And I bombed his test. It was embarrassing, but really challenged me on how I handle conflict. I love their hearts for marriage. They have a passion to remind couples that marriage is GOOD and it does work.

In this episode, we discuss:
How easy it is to drift in marriage when kids are in the homeHow to keep your marriage a priority and intentionally connectHow to utilize conflict instead of avoiding it
Chapters
00:00
Introduction and Family Background
04:04
Letting Go and Trusting God with Our Children
08:54
Faith as a Consistent and Visible Part of Family Life
23:53
Merging Talents to Help Couples Find Joy in Marriage
29:19
Revealing Areas of Freedom Through Conflict

Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess 
Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:
Funny How Marriage Works
Assessment for your conflict resolution 
Emotions Wheel
Funny How Marriage Works Tour


Our Sponsors:
* Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com


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Happy almost Summer!! I am delighted to share the story of Sarah Harmeyer and her love for gathering neighbors. You will be so fascinated by her story of creating a table and setting out to have people over. Over time, she hosted thousands of people just one night at a time. She absolutely inspired me to get back out there and invite folks to my home. 

You will be inspired and motivated and so very touched how God used Sarah’s life to start a movement called “Neighbor’s Table.” He took a nudge in her heart and kept expanding it across the country.

My favorite part was at the end when we talked about her current living situation with her aging father. She is so tender and so gracious with his walk with Alzheimers. I pray that I handle my own parents with such care and compassion one day.

In this episode we chat about: 
How a simple dinner party created a movementWhy your neighbors need community What an invitation can do for an individualHow we can preach less and simply love moreHow to care for aging parents with compassion
Chapters00:00
Introduction and Catching Up
10:01
Stories of Love and Connection Around the Table
22:59
Building Relationships with New Neighbors and Introducing Sarah's Dad
27:02
Caring for Aging Parents with Love and Compassion
30:53
Closing Remarks and Action Items


Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess 
Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Sarah’s Instagram

Neighbor’s Table

Invite Sarah to Speak

Table Talk Questions - source Close To My Heart

Kindness Diaries with Leon

Leon Logothetis

God’s Holy Spirit in Me kid’s devotional



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com


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“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” —Matthew 28:19–20
 
We’ve spent this school year praying for our kids to be marked by the things of God. We’ve prayed that they live with integrity, confidence, generosity, endurance, and much more. But these are nothing more than admirable qualities if they aren’t used for God’s kingdom purposes.
 
Before Jesus ascended to heaven, he gave us our mission. He told us to go and make disciples, sharing the story of his grace and love.
 
The Great Commission is our central mission. The same is true for our kids.
 
We’re God’s Plan A for spreading the gospel. There’s no backup plan, there’s no contingency, and there’s nobody else to tag in for our spot.
 
But it all starts at home. It happens in the seemingly insignificant moments of reading Bible stories to our toddlers and the really hard places of pointing them to Jesus on the heels of their biggest mistakes and greatest obstacles.
 
Please let us never underestimate the significance of our jobs as moms and dads, discipling our kids to share the gospel to the next generation.
 
Let’s wrap up this school year by praying that our kids will be marked by the mission of Jesus, doing it with truth, discipline, purity, and every other characteristic of God we’ve prayed over them this year.
 
Lord, thank you for the gift of my children and the privilege of praying over them this school year. Please mark their lives with a determination to fulfill the mission you created for them before they were ever born. Give [name] the wisdom to pursue you every day and a spirit of urgency in following your plans for their life. 

God’s word speaks: 1 Peter 2:9; Mark 16:15; 1 Peter 3:15; Ecclesiastes 12:13–14



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When our children hurt (emotionally or physically), we simply hurt. One of the hardest jobs as a parent is to discern when to step in and when to let them live through hard seasons. I am so thrilled to introduce you to my very own therapist, Dr. Cassie Reid. 

Cassie has counseled me and my own children through many seasons. It’s taken me years to find a good fit and I am beyond thankful for her wisdom and direction for our family. It is not always clear if our kids are just being kids - or if they are really struggling internally. 

Listen in as Cassie and I chat about the challenges that come our way as parents. She shares many practical recommendations for us parents. 

My favorite part is when she talks about the expectations we have for our kids. She challenges us to look inward and really work on ourselves and our own healing journey. She shares how our unrealistic expectations can start to produce extra pressure and anxiety and how to look out for that scenario in our homes. 

In this episode we chat about: 
When to see a therapist or counselorWhy counseling is so important for families Two pieces of advice for parents that she wishes we all knew
Chapters:
00:00
Introduction and Personal Connection
01:36
Dr. Cassie Reed's Background and Passion
08:35
Recognizing the Need for Professional Help
10:06
Finding Affordable Therapy Options
12:55
The Impact of Parental Anxiety on Children
14:36
Setting Boundaries and Recognizing Age-Appropriate Behavior
22:26
Setting Boundaries and Creating Space for Children
23:49
Managing Expectations and Apologizing to Children
26:19
The Impact of Technology on Children's Mental Health
27:10
Navigating Issues of Gender and Sexual Preferences as Christian Parents
29:04
Dr. Cassie Reid's Work in Spiritual Abuse Prevention and Healing

Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess 
Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

CassieReid.com

Cassie’s Instagram

Church Rehab by Dr. Cassie Reid

Come Home

God’s Holy Spirit in Me kid’s devotional

My Daddy’s Hero


Our Sponsors:
* Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com


Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy