The Rob Skinner Podcast: Helping You Make This Life Count Rob Skinner

 
Every wondered what to do in a tricky dating situation or relationship tangle?  I’m here with Chris Schwartzenber, a close friend who leads the church Spokane, Washington.  We’re going to field questions submitted from you our listeners on the subject of relationships and dating.  Disclaimer, these are our opinions only and ask you to get advice from trusted people within your congregation, family and trustworthy friends.
Here are the questions sent in from one of our listeners:
Best ways to meet people outside of your home church, other than conferences How can I (not me specific) become a more “marry-able” person? How can I remain hopeful and faithful that someone is out there for you? (Knowing that being single forever does happen for some people) What are Rob’s top 3 red flags for someone you’re interested in? Green flags?   How to let someone down easy if you are not interested in pursuing a relationship with them How to know the line between “I need to persevere through this situation” and “I need to move on to something new”

How to Be a Multiplying Disciple:  Seek pleasing results, not pleasing methods
“When do you plan on moving?  How long have you lived at this address?  Where did you move from?  How did you happen to pick this area?  If you were to move, where would you go next?  And when would that be?” 
In the middle of the great recession and housing collapse of 2008, I clung to this sales script as if it were straight from the Bible.  I had only been selling real estate for two years when the real estate market collapsed.  In order to survive, I looked around for some way to list and sell houses in one of the worst markets on record.  I had a wife and three kids in elementary and middle school.  I had a mortgage and I had just bought a brand new Chevy Suburban. 
I saw an advertisement for a real estate sales conference held in Las Vegas taught by a man named Mike Ferry.  Mike made Donald Trump appear humble, but he guaranteed that anyone who followed his methods would sell in any market. I put the conference on a credit card and listened for three days as he expounded on how to sell homes.  I came back with the confidence that if I just put into practice what he taught, I could keep my head above water and sell homes. 
One technique he promoted was direct sales or door knocking.  This is a method that most realtors avoid at all costs.  However, desperation drove me on.  Nearly every morning I would knock on fifty to one hundred doors and recite the script Mike had provided.  Amazingly, it worked.  I started finding people who were thinking about selling their homes.  One lady said, “Yes, I need to sell my house immediately.  I called another realtor, but they never called me back!  Come right in.”  I listed and sold her home.  I found another couple that wanted to sell their home and then called my brother who was looking to buy in that same neighborhood.  He lives there to this day.    It wasn’t easy, but I was able to support my family on straight commission sales (I only earned money if I actually sold a house), build a new house and support the newborn church we had just planted in Ashland, Oregon.
Why would I do something so uncomfortable?  I was new, unknown, untested and had few relationships in the community.  I didn’t have time to build a relationship network in time to feed my family.  Desperation drove me to embrace unpleasant methods.  The result, however, was pleasant results.
If you desire to multiply disciples for Christ, you have to ask yourself the question, “Do I want pleasant methods or pleasant results?”  I talk to many disciples who sincerely want to save souls, bear fruit and help people to know God.  They’ve been praying for years to find someone open, but they remain barren.  The problem is they are praying for pleasant results while using pleasant methods.  They aren’t running to win.  Look at what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, 24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. 27 No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
All disciples are running the Christian race, but not all are running to win.  They have a false expectation that even if I don’t beat my body and make it my slave, I can still win the race.  Paul understood that only those willing to crucify themselves would see the kind of life-giving results that most disciples pray for. 
When we were living in Japan, my wife, Pam, got sick of not saving souls.  She made a decision to start sharing with 100 people a day for seven d

This past weekend I went to Pine Summit Camp in Prescott, Arizona for an All-Arizona Men’s Retreat.  Chris Reed, who leads the church in Salt Lake City was the keynote speaker and preached on what it means to be a man made in the image of Jesus.  I got together with three twenty-somethings after Chris’ lesson and discussed the topic of masculinity in your twenties.  Listen to Johnny Nitafan, a 22-year-old married YouTuber, Brennan Sciascia, a 25-year-old graduate of Brown University and engineer at Intel and 20-year old Nick Kaplan, a junior at the University of Arizona.  They discuss what it means to be a man in 2024.
You can reach Rob at Rob@RobSkinner.Com or go to RobSkinner.Com

If you want to make this life count, you will need to live your life on purpose.  That starts with setting goals and setting up daily systems to achieve your spiritual ambition.  In this episode I talk about how to do just that. 
1.     How to Live Your Life on Purpose
A 10x disciple is a disciple living with a purpose and goal in mind.  Everything he or she does has Jesus’ interests in mind.  This type of person is extremely rare as Paul states in Philippians 2:20-22, 20 I have no one else like him, who will show genuine concern for your welfare. 21 For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. 22 But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.  Timothy was clearly a 10x disciple because he was looking out for the interests of Jesus.  Unfortunately, it’s rare to find a person who is living to advance Jesus’ interests in this world.  If you want to be a multiplier, there are a few steps to move in that direction:
1.       Set goals
2.      Write them down daily
3.      Set up your day and week’s activities and schedule to support those goals
Set goals for yourself.  Jesus lived with an agenda guiding his life.  Over and over he repeated his goal for his life.  In Luke 19:10 he says out loud, “For the son of man came to seek and save the lost.”  He explicitly describes the goal for his life.  This enabled him to cut through all of the other competing demands on his time.  When his disciples begged him to continue healing the sick in Mark 1:37, he said no without saying “no” by stating his greater goal for his life, “ 38 Jesus replied, “Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come.”  With only three years to accomplish his father’s will for his life, Jesus had to have a clear goal guiding his life.  But because he was clear and often restated his primary purpose he was able to complete his primary mission and say with satisfaction, “It is finished.” (John 19:30)  Clarity about our goals in life is what enables us to enjoy the satisfaction of pleasing God and knowing when we’ve achieved what we are on this earth to accomplish.  Take some time to write your goals down.  I would recommend having a one-year goal for each one of your primary areas of responsibilities or interests.  For example:
1.       Evangelistic Goal
2.      Spiritual Growth Goal
3.      Financial Goal
4.     Relationship/Dating/Marriage Goal
5.      Career Goal
6.     Health and Fitness Goal
7.      Skill Development Goal
8.     Fun and Adventure Goal
Write your goals down daily.  Many people write goals down at some point and then forget them.  A fruitful disciple of Jesus never loses track of where they are going.  He refers constantly to his course in life.  Like an explorer discovering uncharted ground, he constantly refers back to his compass to make sure he stays on course.  In the same way, if you want your life to count, write and rewrite your goals down every day.  If you need more help on writing goals I’d recommend any book by Brian Tracy.  However, there is nothing magical about goalsetting.  Just keep doing it every day.  This world is filled with distractions.  Jesus warns of this in Mark 4:19 when he said that “the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.”  If you don’t keep your eye on your most precious goals, they will soon be lost beneath a thousand competing weeds.  Your job is to tend your precious purposes every single day like a gardener weeding around his plants.  I will write my goals down daily and often will repeat them out loud while I pray.  I spend time imagining them coming true at the time I’ve set

With so many books out there, it’s easy to get paralyzed and confused as to what to read.  Today, I’m going to share the top ten books I would take with me if  congress declared a law that said people can only own ten books.  These are the books that have changed my life. 
The Top Ten Books for the growing Christian.  
Leaders are readers.  Everything you want to become or achieve by definition is something you will have to learn to do or imitate from someone else.  The quickest path to get there is to read and imitate those who have gone before you.  John Wooden, who coached his UCLA team to 10 NCAA basketball championships, was a reader.  On the day of his middle school graduation, his father gave him $2 and a card with the following advice:
1. Be true to yourself.
2. Help others.
3. Make each day your masterpiece.
4. Drink deeply from good books, especially the Bible.
5. Make friendship a fine art.
6. Build a shelter against a rainy day.
7. Pray for guidance and count and give thanks for your blessings every day.
This is a great list, but I want to concentrate on item four:  Drink deeply from good books, especially the Bible.  Here are a couple of things to note about this advice.  First, he mentions good books.  There are a ton of books that aren’t worth reading.  You know you are reading a good book if the following criteria are met:
·        You can read and reread it
·        It inspires you to action, change or imitation
·        It moves you
·        It typically focuses on principles that are useful in a variety of situations
·        It’s often been around a while and has a reputation for being good
Secondly, Joshua Wooden highlights the Bible as especially unique.  The Bible meets all of the above criteria while adding:
·        A clear path to eternal life
·        How to know who God is, what he is like and what he expects of us
·        Comfort, encouragement and guidance in life
Reading won’t necessarily make you a great coach, but it will increase your chances of making this life count. 
I’d like to give you my top ten list of good books.  These are books that I’ve read and reread many times.  I’ve read many books and these have impacted me greatly.  I will classify them by genre.
·        The Bible.  This goes without saying, but there is a reason we should be reading, rereading and memorizing this on a daily basis.  If we don’t read anything else, this is the one book that we need to know cover to cover.
1.       Spiritual Book:  “The Imitation of Christ” by Thomas A’Kempis
a.      This is my most read book outside of the Bible.  “Spiritual Formation” is a buzzword in Christian circles today.  A’Kempis wrote the book on spiritual formation 500 years ago.  Written by a man living in a monastery, it is filled with scripture and insight into living a godly and holy life.  I can’t read it without getting completely convicted about the state of my interior life, motivations and sinful nature.  Two bits of advice when starting this book:
                                                 i.      Read it one chapter a day along with your Bible.  This is a book for meditation and consideration not rapid consumption
                                              ii.      Get past the age and religious bias against this book.  Yes, he was a Catholic monk.  Yes, it’s an old book.  However, human nature doesn’t change and the issues he deals with in this book are as relevant as the day it was originally printed.
2.      Time management and priorities, “The One Thing” by Gary Keller
a.      Keller is the founder of Keller Williams Real Estate Corporation.  He helps us get out of the weedy third soil by advisin

I interviewed J. Brian Craig nearly four years ago on episode 25.  Last year Brian was diagnosed with Glioblastoma, a fast-growing and aggressive type of brain cancer.  Listen today as I ask him about his diagnosis, how he and his family have learned to cope with a terminal disease and what his plans are for his music, ministry and future.
Here are the links to Brian's recordings mentioned in the interview:
https://songwhip.com/coracraig/stay-right-here
 
https://songwhip.com/jbriancraig/heavens-declare
 
You can reach Brian at:
 
jbriancraig@gmail.com