The truth is that I am not getting enough sex and I can no longer ignore this gnawing feeling that I have barely begun to experience the kind of pleasure my body is capable of. Connecting with my erotic self has became a matter of urgency. And I know that I am not alone. In my heterosexual, cisgender, white British context female sexual pleasure remains shrouded in mystery and borderline taboo. The more I learn about the connection between the treatment of the vulva and women’s ability to relax, create, explore, lead and excel the more fascinated I am.
That is why I am launching 12, a podcast series exploring the twelve different ways a woman is apparently able to orgasm. I want to start a conversation. A conversation that honours women’s sexuality and their sex. A conversation which challenges the status quo of a culture with an overwhelmingly male sexual gaze. A culture which overlooks female sexual anatomy in mainstream scientific reference books and tolerates an industry where women are reduced to sexual objects.
Each episode of 12 focuses on one of the ways a woman can apparently orgasm, from the g-spot to the blended orgasm, the cervix to the mind. The series delves into the elements that come into play when women have sex; the psychological, the historical, the biological, the sociological and cultural. Each episode also includes an insight into what happened when my partner and I tried to find the orgasm. 12 is packed full of honesty, vulnerability as well as practical advice.
14. In conversation with H
Welcome to episode 14, the final episode in the series. Be ready for something totally different as I am joined for the first time by a guest! In this episode H and I reflect together on the making of 12. I ask H a little bit about himself and then move on to finding out what was hard about making the series, what he learnt and how the experience has changed him. I also share some reflections of my own. THANK YOU to all the listeners who submitted questions, you are superstars!
Follow me on Instagram @twelve4pleasure
Reach out via email email@example.com
Trigger warning - brief references to trauma caused by sexual harassment.
An apology - At the end of the podcast whilst referring to the MeToo Movement H talks about white, grey haired men causing harm to women. We want to acknowledge that the trauma caused by men through their mistreatment of women is a global phenomena and the perpetrators are not only white men. Sorry to anyone listening whose experience might have been undermined in anyway because of this comment.
Episode 13 explores arguably the most taboo of all the orgasms, the anal orgasm. Expect to learn a lot about how to get started, as well as some tips on communication with a partner about libido, experimentation and expanding your sexual horizons.
If you have any questions for H and I for our final podcast please email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org. We’d love to hear from you! Thank you Xx
The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women by Tristan Taormino
Sexplanations YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/sexplanations (https://www.youtube.com/user/sexplanations)
O.school - https://o.school/ (https://o.school/)
Rude Awakening by Stephanie Theobald - https://www.theguardian.com/world/2000/nov/02/gender.uk (https://www.theguardian.com/world/2000/nov/02/gender.uk)
Episode 12 explores the magical multiple orgasm. Expect to learn about super orgasmic women and edging. This episode also explores the world of yoni and jade eggs. And, as always, find out what happened when H and I had a go. It’s a cracker!
'The Super Orgasm'? on All 4: https://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-super-orgasm?cntsrc=social_share_ios_the_super_orgasm
What happens to our bodies during sex? - WebMD https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/sexual-response-cycle#1 (https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/sexual-response-cycle#1)
Layla Martin on Jade Eggs https://youtu.be/0mg7RTbE-RY (https://youtu.be/0mg7RTbE-RY)
Myths and Science of Yoni and Jade Eggs - Kim Anami https://youtu.be/0YZxkwh55gM (https://youtu.be/0YZxkwh55gM)
Edging and Orgasm Control - Healthline https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/edging-orgasm-control (https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/edging-orgasm-control)
Sex Coach Kait Scalisi - https://passionbykait.com/ (https://passionbykait.com/)
The Mystery Behind Ancient Vaginal Jade Eggs has been cracked - Forbes https://www.forbes.com/sites/ninashapiro/2018/11/04/the-mystery-behind-ancient-vaginal-jade-eggs-has-been-cracked/ (https://www.forbes.com/sites/ninashapiro/2018/11/04/the-mystery-behind-ancient-vaginal-jade-eggs-has-been-cracked/)
11. Spot or Zone
Episode 11, the spot or zone orgasm spends time understanding erogenous zones as well as touching on topics like white debt, foot fetishes and body mapping. There is also a reveal about plans for the final episode.
Apologies if the recording quality isn’t as good as previous episodes. Recording in lockdown has it’s challenges!
The Erogenous Zones: Their Nerve Supply and Significance - http://www.cirp.org/library/anatomy/winkelmann/ (http://www.cirp.org/library/anatomy/winkelmann/)
White Debt by Eula Biss in The New York Times - https://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/06/magazine/white-debt.html (https://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/06/magazine/white-debt.html)
Samantha Evans - https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/samantha-evans/?guccounter=1andguce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvLnVrLwandguce_referrer_sig=AQAAAL07LPLJH74M06KtueOBYspnIySmx7dw1CmM7-3kXuOxCTTbA99Y_6eHnz0th-EaSLopH64bdzsnvHkGRKn5n3kuhr49DYkfrN56uyZNMpdJoOI65vUmY6pno9K6fdO7MSsodGeWk-3JC-jjRn_AIEx0YjDufIZfz1-SqCGf26cK (https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/samantha-evans/?guccounter=1andguce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvLnVrLwandguce_referrer_sig=AQAAAL07LPLJH74M06KtueOBYspnIySmx7dw1CmM7-3kXuOxCTTbA99Y_6eHnz0th-EaSLopH64bdzsnvHkGRKn5n3kuhr49DYkfrN56uyZNMpdJoOI65vUmY6pno9K6fdO7MSsodGeWk-3JC-jjRn_AIEx0YjDufIZfz1-SqCGf26cK)
Ferly - https://weareferly.com/ (https://weareferly.com/)
Everything You Want to Know About Foot Fetishes - Allure https://www.allure.com/story/foot-fetishes-explained (https://www.allure.com/story/foot-fetishes-explained)
Episode 10 explores the mouthgasm or oral orgasm. The show talks about life in isolation, what it means to live an erotic life and shares the two ways H and I approached this diverse orgasm.
What’s in a Kiss? The Guardian - https://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/jul/19/history-of-kissing-lips-love (https://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/jul/19/history-of-kissing-lips-love)
The Magic Place at the end of the Rainbow, Marian Freya - https://beducated.com/mag/throat-orgasm/ (https://beducated.com/mag/throat-orgasm/)
What is Erotic Intelligence, Esther Perel - https://youtu.be/tO0xgj3kEuI (https://youtu.be/tO0xgj3kEuI)
‘The Science of Orgasms’ by Barry R. Komisaruk, Carlos Beyer-Flores and Beverly Whipple
Episode 9 explores the cervical orgasm, also referred to as the queen of orgasms. Expect insights into common challenges facing couples as well as the impact of the pornography industry on young people.
Ester Perel - https://www.estherperel.com/ (www.estherperel.com)
Jo Divine - www.jodivine.com
Fight The New Drug - https://fightthenewdrug.org/ (https://fightthenewdrug.org)
’Vagina’ by Naomi Wolf
’Women Who Run With the Wolves’ by Clarissa Pinkola Estes