50 - Carry On, My Wayward Sonic Booze Your Own Adventure

You're a preternaturally speedy blue animal that talks, A.K.A a hedgehog. Dr. Robotnik has launched a plan to brainwash the world through his media monopoly, and it's up to you to stop him! Unfortunately, "go fast" is really the only tool in your toolbox, so good look figuring out how to leverage that in the increasingly global corporate marketplace. Will you have all your clothes stolen to no obvious end or effect? Will you experience carnal stirrings for any bats or squirrels? And will you, at any point, actually "go fast"? Hold on to your chaos emeralds, 'cause you're about to find out.
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