669 épisodes

Conversations and actions to create a life and marriage fully alive! We explore the wisdom and skills of the relationship world's most passionate and brilliant minds. Through in-depth conversations with authors, counselors, psychologists, professors, doctors and specialists, each episode explores topics every relationship faces and offers conversation starters or actions you can take to propel your life and marriage into deeper and more meaningful directions.

Find all our shows at https://smr.fm

Sexy Marriage Radio Dr Corey and Pam Allan

    • Forme et santé

Conversations and actions to create a life and marriage fully alive! We explore the wisdom and skills of the relationship world's most passionate and brilliant minds. Through in-depth conversations with authors, counselors, psychologists, professors, doctors and specialists, each episode explores topics every relationship faces and offers conversation starters or actions you can take to propel your life and marriage into deeper and more meaningful directions.

Find all our shows at https://smr.fm

    Want To Be Wanted But Don’t Want To Want #669

    Want To Be Wanted But Don’t Want To Want #669

    In this episode, we dive into how marriage is simple but difficult, and emphasize the importance of honest conversations.



    Then we move into the main focus of the episode -- an email from a husband who feels that his wife wants to be wanted but doesn't want to want.



    There are complexities of desire discrepancy and sexual frustration in every marriage. So waht do we do with them?



    We also touch on the vulnerability and shame associated with discussing sexuality and the deeper parts of our lives.



    Takeaways



    Marriage is simple but difficult, and it requires honest conversations and a willingness to face challenges.

    Desire discrepancy and sexual frustration can be common issues in marriage, and it's important to have open and honest communication about these topics.

    Vulnerability and shame can play a role in the dynamics of marriage, and it's important to create a safe space for discussing sensitive topics.

    Resilience and overcoming resentment in marriage require facing negative thoughts and feelings, addressing traumas, and implementing boundaries.

    On the Xtended Version ...



    There are 2 common attitudes people approach marriage and relationships with - an attitude of entitlement or an attitude of exposure.



    We explore them and how they play out in life today.



    Enjoy the show!



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    • 28 min
    Procrastination and Resistance | Tripp Lanier #668

    Procrastination and Resistance | Tripp Lanier #668

    In this conversation, Tripp Lanier joins me as we discuss the importance of self-reflection, understanding self, and overcoming resistance.



    We explore the impact of scripts, narratives, and parts in our lives and the need to integrate different aspects of ourselves. Our conversation also dives into the balance between love and boundaries in relationships and the power of acceptance and forgiveness.



    We wrap up by discussing the importance of taking personal responsibility for our happiness and finding a balance between meeting external expectations and honoring our true selves.



    Learn more about Tripp here - https://www.tripplanier.com/







    Takeaways



    Self-reflection and understanding are key to personal growth and overcoming resistance.

    Integrating different aspects of ourselves leads to wholeness and a deeper sense of self.

    Balancing love and boundaries in relationships is essential for maintaining an open heart.

    Acceptance and forgiveness, both of self and others, are powerful tools for healing and growth.

    Taking personal responsibility for our happiness allows us to create fulfilling relationships and lives.



    Enjoy the show!



    Sponsors ...



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    • 44 min
    Initiating Intimacy | Rachel Facio and Stacey Sherrell #667

    Initiating Intimacy | Rachel Facio and Stacey Sherrell #667

    In this conversation, I'm joined by Stacey Sherrell and Rachel Faccio from Decoding Couples.



    We have a great conversation about the transition from normal married life to intimacy, the importance of creating margin, and the different desire levels in a relationship.



    We also explore the role of initiation and rejection in sexual activity, as well as the significance of character and emotional intimacy. Our conversation emphasizes the importance of communication, playfulness, and understanding each other's desires and boundaries.



    Learn more about Decoding Couples here - https://www.decodingcouples.com/



    Takeaways



    Transitioning to intimacy requires communication and understanding of each other's desires and boundaries.

    Creating margin between different roles and responsibilities is crucial for a healthy sex life.

    Initiation and rejection play a significant role in sexual activity, and it is important to navigate these dynamics with empathy and understanding.

    Building emotional intimacy and connection is essential for a fulfilling and enjoyable sex life.

    On the Xtended Version ...



    In the XTD content, we discuss the importance of initiation and communication in relationships.



    We each explore how initiation plays out in our own marriages and the challenges we face. We also discuss the power of intimacy school and the importance of understanding the difference between sex and sex with a partner.



    Enjoy the show!



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    • 38 min
    Normal Marital Sadism #666

    Normal Marital Sadism #666

    In this episode, in recognition of this being episode 666, we go a bit dark and discuss the concept of normal marital sadism (a term coined by Dr David Schnarch), which refers to the intentional infliction of pain, cruelty, and hurt within a marriage.



    We explore various examples of normal marital sadism, such as poking fun at and embarrassing a spouse, lying to inflict pain, restricting the autonomy of your spouse, and manipulating them to establish compliance or gain dominance.



    Our conversation emphasizes the importance of recognizing our own capacity for cruelty and the need to address it in order to maintain a healthy and fulfilling marriage.



    Takeaways



    Normal marital sadism refers to the intentional infliction of pain, cruelty, and hurt within a marriage.





    Examples of normal marital sadism include humiliating and demeaning others, lying to inflict pain, restricting the autonomy of others, and manipulating others to establish compliance or gain dominance.





    It is important to recognize our own capacity for cruelty and address it in order to maintain a healthy and fulfilling marriage.





    Denying the existence of normal marital sadism can lead to its prevalence and negative consequences in a relationship.



    On the Xtended Version ...



    What do we do about normal marital sadism? How do I address it? Get rid of it? Or, at the very least limit it's presence in my marriage?



    Enjoy the show!



    Sponsors ...



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    • 39 min
    Attachment Styles and Cycles | Dr Laurie Watson #665

    Attachment Styles and Cycles | Dr Laurie Watson #665

    In this conversation, Dr Laurie Watson joins me as we discuss the dynamics of relationships and how they can impact sexual intimacy. We explore the misconceptions and expectations that couples often bring into therapy, as well as the triggers and defensive mechanisms that can lead to negative cycles.



    We also discuss the importance of recognizing patterns and understanding attachment styles in order to create healthier relationships. Overall, the conversation emphasizes the need for communication, empathy, and a willingness to work through challenges in order to cultivate a satisfying and fulfilling sexual connection.



    Learn more about Laurie here - https://www.foreplayrst.com/



    Takeaways



    Misconceptions and expectations can lead to disappointment and frustration in relationships.

    Triggers and defensive mechanisms can create negative cycles in relationships.

    Understanding attachment styles can help couples navigate challenges and create healthier relationships.

    Communication, empathy, and a willingness to work through challenges are essential for cultivating a satisfying sexual connection.

    On the Xtended Version ...



    In this XTD conversation, we provide an example of a couple's interaction and explore the emotional and physical reactions that can arise. We emphasize the importance of creating space for communication and understanding each other's needs. By expressing vulnerability and making plans, couples can overcome the negative cycle and improve their sexual experiences.



    Enjoy the show!



    Sponsors ...



    Better Help: SMR is sponsored by BetterHelp. Get 10% your first month at https://betterhelp.com/smr

    • 28 min
    Yes, But … #664

    Yes, But … #664

    This week we discuss the impact of trauma on reactions and responses in marriage.





    An email from a listener points out she felt that trauma was not adequately addressed last week.





    We explore more how both partners are responsible for their reactions and responses, and that there is no hierarchy of pain. We also discuss the importance of regaining a sense of safety in the relationship and the need for both partners to work on themselves. 







    Takeaways



    Both partners are responsible for their reactions and responses in marriage.

    There is no hierarchy of pain in life and relationship.

    Regaining a sense of safety in the relationship is important, but it is not solely the responsibility of a partner.

    Recognizing and changing patterns is essential for personal growth and a healthier marriage.



    On the Xtended Version ...



    We continue to explore the idea of sexual polarity and look at aspects of masculine and feminine energies.



    Enjoy the show!



    Sponsors ...



    Babbel: Get 50% off at https://babbel.com/SMR

    • 40 min

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