The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., clinical expert on the narcissistic personality, psychotherapist and author. I offer in-depth analysis, strategies and practices for those psychologically and emotionally harmed and abused by toxic, predatory narcissistic personalities through my books: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, international telephone consultations and global podcasts. I put the emphasis on helping individuals to access the calming, restorative parts of the parasympathetic body/mind systems that lead to healing, recovery, personal transformation and the evolution of your true, authentic self and your unique creative gifts.
Insatiable Greed of the High Level Narcissist
The high level narcissist, engine running at full tile, plots and schemes how to garner and grab more---wealth, material possessions, prestige, adulation, praise, fame...endless supplies to keep his/her ego fully inflated.
They operate in the harsh arenas of people being expendable and interchangeable. Everyone is a commodity that will assist them their highest manic ambitions.
Greedy high level narcissists never look back or reflect on the gut wrenching traumas they have perpetrated on those who trusted them and gave freely of themselves.
There is a time of reckoning when your inner wisdom, insights and research speak to you when you know that you will be separating from this alignment with the high level narcissist. You have clarity, perseverance and vision now as you step forward to retrieve and build and evolve ever stronger and more resolute the power and beauty of your true original self. You have chosen the pathway of self care, transformation and creativity. Celebrate your individuality.
High Level Narcissist is Pea Green with Envy
Quoting from my book: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life: "Envy is a secret, taboo emotion. People don't talk about their envies. Being envious makes us look bad...envy in the narcissist is skillfully hidden...After all , he knows he is the best. Why should he be envious of someone who is his inferior."
The narcissist makes up for his inability to have a genuine relationship by desiring what others have. He devalues other human beings, especially those he views as having more social and financial advantages..."
"Beneath all the bravado--the elaborate facade of superiority, grand delusions and haughty disdain of others, lies an insatiable hunger for what others have."
You are very different from the high level narcissist: genuine, of fine character, wise, knowledgeable, empathic. You are moving forward along your own pathway of healing, recovery, transformation and creativity.
The High Level Narcissist's Destructive Cycle of Deceit
Narcissists crowd our world today. They are our spouses, ex-spouses, relatives, bosses, co-workers, spiritual mentors, friends. our society rewards high level narcissists handsomely with praise, adulation, celebrity, wealth, social status. The narcissist's raison d'etre is winning. As long as he/she achieves his goals, nothing else matters. Personal problems, even those of close family members, are too messy and time consuming. Individuals with this personality disorder are ethically and morally challenged.
Narcissists weave grand visions of success that are designed to lead them to stashes of wealth, power, prestige and control. Winning electrifies the narcissist; it is the engine, the fire that keeps him going. They hire bright talented people to implement their ideas. They take advantage of their assistants by underpaying them and overpromising while they carefully maintain their elite lifestyles.
Above all, the high level narcissist is deceptive in all of his relationships and transactions.
Some narcissistic dreams go astray. The high level narcissist takes the blame off of himself and onto his "underlines."
Protect yourself from becoming enmeshed in the narcissist's destructive web. Learn to identify the high level narcissist in your personal and professional life. Steer clear of them if you can. Assert your grounded individuality and strong sense of self. Appreciate who you are. Get the sleep and rest that you deserve; movement and exercise; nourishing food and good hydration, a spiritual practice how you define this, experience of beauty and nature.
High Level Narcissists - Making Others Do Their Dirty Work
High level narcissists perpetrate tremendous stress on other human beings - their spouses, ex-spouses, children through their pernicious lying, deceptions and manipulations. High level narcissists who succeed in the world preserve their pristine images by having favored members of their tight inner circles do their dirty work.
There are extraordinary individuals who through their research, perseverance, insights and intuitions move forward along their own pathways. I give them so much credit for their psychological strength and grit. These are individuals of great character.
They are unique individuals of fine character. They are tremendous people and we honor them.
Children of Narcissistic Mothers - Re-Traumatized by High Level Narcissists
You grew up as a child of maternal deprivation. Your mother's presence was neither loving nor protective. Early on you knew that Narcissistic Mama (or Mothering Figure) couldn't stand your presence, even as a little child.
Psychiatrist and researcher Dr. John Bowlby created the term Maternal Deprivation to describe a mother's lack of attachment and warmth toward her child communicated as cold dismissiveness and lack of empathy.
As adult some of these children feel guilt and shame, a deep sense of unease for being imperfect and letting mother down.
As babies they looked into their mother's eyes and discovered a void--a cold uncaring, dismissive "don't come near me" revulsion.
Enter the high level nrcissist, infused with magnetic charm, command of self, energetic, self-confident, charismatic. Children of narcissistic mothers become entrance with the high level narcissist.
Marriage and partnership with the high level narcissist is exciting in the beginning.
After a short period of time the narcissistic partner reveals their cruel, demanding, manipulative side. You are the object of cruel, obnoxious projections, frequently in private behind closed doors.
You feel anxious, jumpy, waiting for the next volley of insults and recriminations...Why do you tolerate this kind of treatment?
You were traumatized as a small child and now you are being -re-traumatized by your narcissistic spouse.
This is your time and opportunity for awakening to the true nature of the high level narcissist.
You become clear that you will move forward along your own pathway of recovery, transformation and the continued evolution of your true self.
Along the way you learn to be self entitled, deserving of inner peace, worthy of trust and warmth, the full use of your creative gifts.
Practice self care: rest, sleep, movement/exercise, food, hydration, Nature.
Children of Narcissistic Mothers - Objects of Control and Exploitation
There are large number of children who were "raised" by narcissistic mothers. I used the word "raised" with question because these individuals are incapable of true mothering. Psychoanalyst Alice Miller describes the psychodynamics between he narcissistic mother and her child: "The child...was the narcissistically cathected (chosen) object. What these mothers had once failed to find in their own mothers they were able to find in their children: someone at their disposal who can be used as an echo, who can be controlled, is completely centered, will never desert them, and offers full attention and admiration."
Many adult children of narcissistic mothers continue to play this role of servant and adorer throughout their lives...They grow up knowing only that they survive by being and remaining attached, fused and loyal only to mother.
Some adult children through their own self analysis, psychotherapy, support groups, working with their insights, discover that they deserve to be released from this nightmare of captivity.
They expand the use of their creative gifts. They begin to fledge with practice like a young eagle flying from branch to branch. At some point they move through the air of each day with great skill and purpose and the full activation of their authentic selves.
Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com