I was speaking to my friend Chris about a recent first date he had had and our conversation moved in a completely different direction. As I write in my book, Grindr Survivr, it's critical that you start looking at what you must have in a relationship to be happy and what is merely "icing on the cake." Otherwise, you'll sabotage yourself by looking for perfection. Chris and I distinguish just that. Consider you might be doing this in your own life, and it's stopping you from having amazing relationships.