43 episodes

"What do they know of cricket, who only cricket know?" Ahmer Naqvi and Osman Samiuddin look at cricket from beyond the runs and wickets to the larger sociocultural context of the sport.

Batta Fast Ahmer Naqvi and Osman Samiuddin

    • Sport
    • 5.0 • 5 Ratings

"What do they know of cricket, who only cricket know?" Ahmer Naqvi and Osman Samiuddin look at cricket from beyond the runs and wickets to the larger sociocultural context of the sport.

    Episode 34 - #PAKvsNZ F series review

    Episode 34 - #PAKvsNZ F series review

    *puke* A terrible series that taught us nothing and made us despair a lot. We dive deep mostly into Babar, but also the larger malaise afflicting Pakistan cricket.

    0:00 - 5:00 Intro and whining
    5:00 Lack of ambition and intent
    11:14 Toxic national team atmosphere
    24:23 Babar's lack of evolution
    30:37 Did we learn anything at all?
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    • 49 min
    Episode 33 - Batta Fast Manjan - A history of Pakistan cricketers in Cola ads

    Episode 33 - Batta Fast Manjan - A history of Pakistan cricketers in Cola ads

    To celebrate the star turn by Naseem Shah in his new ***** ad, we decide to take a look back at some of the iconic cola adverts starring Pakistani players. Thirty years of pure pop culture.

    Original compilation of ads: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhwhTaU14zM
    Osman podcast discussing War Minus the Shooting: https://www.81allout.com/2021/02/22/an-unquiet-history-an-interview-with-writer-osman-samiuddin/
    Ahmer article on separating art from artist: https://www.espncricinfo.com/story/ahmer-naqvi-the-mohammad-asif-enigma-913199
    Abid Hussain article on tape ball history (Nadeem Finger) https://www.thecricketmonthly.com/story/929545/tape-ball-tales

    0:55 Intro to why we aren't doing data but Naseem ogling
    4:00 BDS, Palestine and the ethics of working with such companies
    9:00 Stop calling us boomers (we then proceed to do boomer shit)
    10:40 1987 Have a ***** Day ad with Imran Khan
    11:55 1990 with IK and Ws
    14:00 1993 Vital Signs traffic jam
    14:31 1994 Haroon
    17:00 1996 the iconic Nothing Official About It ad
    23:30 1997 Saeed and Afridi
    26:50 1998 Saqlain 
    27:00 1999 Shoaib, Speed, 100mph
    29:00 2000 The last Afridi launda ad
    31:08 2001 Wasim bhai 
    32:10 2002 Lehmann, Warne and Street Cricket
    34:19 2003 Problematic 'tribal' ad
    34:50 2004 Osman rant on Strings
    36:19 2005 Harasser with unknown
    37:12 2006 Adnan Sami
    38:30 2007 Younis Khan 
    40:51 2008 Retired Wasim and baby Asim Azhar(?)
    41:30 2009 Last minute Afridi ad
    42:40 2010 Aisam ul Haq ad
    43:19 2011 Afridi and Shoaib
    44:00 2012 Afridi golf etc
    45:30 2013 Misbah, Junaid Irfan 'pahunch toa gaye ho'
    48:20 2014 Afridi, Ws, Selfie, Gul, Sana Mir
    49:22 2015 Afridi and Ukmal
    52:05 2016 No cricketers
    52:30 2018 No cricketers
    53:30 2016 (no clip) Afridi and Misbah shipwrecked
    55:00 Naseem's ad and his burgeoning sexiness
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    • 1 hr 4 min
    Episode 32 - Batta Fast Manjan - Rambo's PCB, Shaheen's Instagram and a Champions League revival

    Episode 32 - Batta Fast Manjan - Rambo's PCB, Shaheen's Instagram and a Champions League revival

    This week, we respond to many fan queries and do a detailed discussion of our criticism's of Ramiz Raja's stint as PCB Chairman. We also debate just how gold was Shaheen's 'don't anger me' Insta story, and discuss how a return of the franchise-based Champion's League tournament is both exciting and ridiculous.

    00:00 Intro and Shaheen's insta story
    9:53 The Chairman Rambo era
    37:03 What does a revival of the Champions League mean?
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    • 1 hr 6 min
    Episode 31 - Batta Fast Manjan - Clown Season at the PCB

    Episode 31 - Batta Fast Manjan - Clown Season at the PCB

    We had planned to do a data deep dive on the recent PSL, but instead we have to content with all the elite level clownery going on at the PCB. 

    Turns out, the board changed captains and released a #wholesome press release which had never been shared with the players instead. 

    So now, we've got one recently sacked captain back, one highly f****d over player sacked without being told why, two of the most recent successful PSL captains not even considered, and two known haters of the current captain back in the team. 

    Of course, the big question is, which of these can run 2 kilometres with faujis?

    00:00 Discussion on the latest farce
    04:11 Lack of communication and mismanagement in the PCB
    08:04 Mohsin Naqvi's role as chairman
    12:16 Treatment of players in Pakistan cricket
    25:30 The captaincy debate and overlooked captains in the PSL 
    30:40 The legacy of Sheharyar Khan
    47:21 Same old genuine concern for the future of Pakistani cricket
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    • 48 min
    Episode 30 - Batta Fast at the PSL - Deep Dive into ISLU's win with Rehan Part 2

    Episode 30 - Batta Fast at the PSL - Deep Dive into ISLU's win with Rehan Part 2

    APOLOGIES FOR THE LATE UPLOAD ON AUDIO!

    Part 2 of our episode with the 3-time PSL winning General Manager of Islamabad United Rehan ul Haq. We go match by match throughout the whole magical season, charting all the ups and downs and how Islamabad's side found their way back to the top.

    0:00 Match 5 - Trouncing the Kings
    4:54 Match 6 - Rematch with Zalmi, Shadab's best PSL knock
    10:06 Match 7 - Losing to nemesis Lahore, rise of Faheem
    15:03 Match 8 - Beating Karachi, Pollard's genius, Haider's emergence
    18:02 Match 9 - Did Islu hit their peak when beating Multan? Finally, home advantage, Usman Khan eater of spin, Munro's guts
    26:14 His Imadness takes over the playoffs, integrating Imad into Isloo
    32:37 Eliminator 2 - Overcoming that final hurdle
    39:19 The final vs Multan, Ifti mania and the importance of momentum, Naseem's pep talk and clutch batting, Hunain's cuteness
    49:21 Shadab's catch of Babar
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    • 50 min
    Episode 29 - Batta Fast at the PSL - Deep Dive into ISLU's win with Rehan Part 1

    Episode 29 - Batta Fast at the PSL - Deep Dive into ISLU's win with Rehan Part 1

    In our favourite episode ever, great friend of the podcast and 3-time PSL winning General Manager of Islamabad United Rehan ul Haq joins us. We go match by match throughout the whole magical season, charting all the ups and downs and how Islamabad's side found their way back to the top.

    0:00 Intro and banter
    4:28 Why this PSL was his proudest professional achievement
    7:51 The importance of team culture and how it was established at Islu
    21:11 Match 1 - Beating Qalandars at home
    25:41 Match 2 - Losing to Multan, Shadab as captain and Naseem as sexpot superstar
    39:26 Match 3 - Losing to Quetta, Abrar's courage and chutzpah
    45:42 Match 4 - Shocker vs Zalmi, Arif Yaqub's genius, playing vs Babar, Hesson's calmness
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    • 55 min

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