Listen into the conversation with Susie where we talk about what drives you to make changes in life and what helps her know she has balance in her life.
I met Susie at an event and we seemed to connect and have stayed in touch ever since. Susie coaches high performers, is a speaker and writes for Families magazines.
Susie was a high performer and tried hard to be that high performer. One day she was told that if she wanted to be good at her job she needed to do less. That was confusing for her!
Her boss had just got a coach and enlisted someone for Susie too. It helped her to see where there were barriers with her team and herself.
However she had to quit a job when she was bullied. Although she says she’s so grateful about that episode because it helped to catapult her into full time coaching.
Susie talks about how she listens to how people talk and can pick up on language that people use based on logic and how they think they’ll be judged, rather than what’s going on in their gut and their core beliefs.
Emma and Susie talk about how using the word “should” can come from beliefs that are formed and we can change that language and it can help us think about things differently.
They both talk about how seemingly unpleasant events like bullying and other difficulties can bring gratefulness and change in our lives. As a previous life as Director of Innovation Susie says she should have been comfortable with change and new. Yet when she was bullied she was on the cusp of her comfort zone and this woman gave her what was needed to make the step into setting up her own business.
“How many times will I put myself through situations that clearly do not suit me anymore.”
Susie responds better by having a good strong reason NOT to do things any more. This is more compelling for her than vision boards. Vision boards are not enticing enough or uncomfortable enough to drive you forward.
The conversation flows onto what is valuable to both Susie and Emma and how it’s worth investing the time to what actually brings you joy and where you want to invest your time, energy and money.
We need some of the little things in life to help us keep that balance. We can’t always take a spa day or a holiday to reset and recover ourselves. A lot of men say they’re OK when they go to the gym, but it’s not possible if they have an injury. This is why Emma says take a walk in your lunch break or find some basic things that can create that balance for you.
Susie talks about being aware of using ‘things’ to anaesthetise feelings, and how she began noticing patterns when she’s not as happy as she could be. She’s realised that if she doesn’t leave the house her mood is not what she would want it to be. If her step count is low her mood is not great. She makes a commitment to herself that she will do 10,000 steps. She recognising how she will feel if she hasn’t met that commitment and that will drive her to go for another walk.
This is also relevant to people who don’t leave the office and making sure that people know when their mood diminishes. The commitment being made to valuing ourselves is about doing something without a significant reason other than for you.
Susie talks about how she pays attention to where things may becoming a habit but in a thoughtless way. She talks about trying new things, mixing up routines, trying new sports, ordering different food so that you keep things fresh, build your mindset and get comfortable with new.
Asking how does it make me feel and does it add any value are two key questions she asks herself.
This brings back to the values and what is driving the change.
Emma explains how she uses this method to see her through the menopause. Making choices about whether she drinks wine or values sleep more.
The one piece of advice Susie gives is don’t fake it. Find people around whom you feel safe.
Have courage, be kind an