Breaking Free: Your Recovery. Your Way‪.‬ Liv & Tiffany

In this episode we discussed holiday-related boundaries. We talked about body and food-related boundaries, knowing our limits, and how to keep ourselves safe and honor our needs. For Liv, this has been one of the most painful lessons in recovery. Some of the challenges she has faced are well-meaning family members being overly focused on her body size and eating habits, and not understanding her needs as an empath and introvert.

For Tiffany, her challenges are self-expectations: hosting the family and ensuring everyone gets everything they might want. Sometimes, she has pushed herself to the point of exhaustion, and eaten foods she wouldn’t otherwise in fear of upsetting others.

This episode is packed full of hard won lessons, and potential solutions we can all use at this time of year.

We invite you to subscribe to our podcast, and tell us the ways in which you’re breaking free in our free Facebook community: Breaking Free Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/breakingfreecommunity.

#Recovery #Allpaths, #allpathways, #recoverypathways, #BreakingFree, #12steprecovery, #AlcoholicsAnonymous, #alternativepathways, #alternativesToAA, #sober, #sobriety,  diets dont work, #anti-diet, #IntuitiveEating, #Dietculture, #whycantIstopeating, #helpwithovereating, #bingeeating, #binging, #lifeafter12steprecovery, #bodyattunement, #Disorderedeating, #eatingdisorders, #sugaraddiction, #Alcoholism, #addiction, #howtolivesober, #sobriety, #howtostopdrinking, #recoverypodcast, #sobrietypodcast, #whatisintuitiveEating, #bodyrespect, #HAES, #healthateverysize, #bodypositivity, #BoPo, #foodrecovery, #BreakingFreeRecovery, #BreakingFree#Podcast, #Breaking Free:Your Recovery.Your Way., #recoverypatchwork, #eatingrecovery, #recoveryboundaries, #eatingdisorderrecovery, #disorderedeatingrecovery, #TiffanyThoen, #LivPennelle, #Liv’srecoverykitchen, #OliviaPennelle, #LivandTiffany


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In this episode, we talk about how self-expectation is so prevalent in our lives, especially as female entrepreneurs, and what we can do to be more realistic with our expectations of ourselves.

The longer we’ve been in recovery, the more awareness we’ve gained around self-expectation. That’s not uncommon for women, as sexist and binary as this is. We’re often expected to have two roles: looking after the household, taking care of kids if we have them, and going to work all week.

As business owners, we both have competing priorities. But we still experience a gap between what we think we can do and what we achieve. For Liv, she can then use that deficit in achievement as a reason to be critical of her abilities. For Tiffany, there are always so many things she wants to do and so many unreasonable expectations.

As an antidote to high self-expectation, we discuss boundaries with ourselves and others, particularly our clients. We practice business efficiency where we can, and we try different ways to manage our time and our endless to-do lists more effectively. We talk about the importance of downtime, saying no, and listening to and honoring what our bodies need.

We rang a bell for:


Camp Yes

Eat that Frog


We invite you to subscribe to our podcast, and tell us the ways in which you’re breaking free in our free Facebook community: Breaking Free Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/breakingfreecommunity.

#Recovery #Allpaths, #allpathways, #recoverypathways, #BreakingFree, #12steprecovery, #AlcoholicsAnonymous, #alternativepathways, #alternativesToAA, #sober, #sobriety,  diets dont work, #anti-diet, #IntuitiveEating, #Dietculture, #whycantIstopeating, #helpwithovereating, #bingeeating, #binging, #lifeafter12steprecovery, #bodyattunement, #Disorderedeating, #eatingdisorders, #sugaraddiction, #Alcoholism, #addiction, #howtolivesober, #sobriety, #howtostopdrinking, #recoverypodcast, #sobrietypodcast, #whatisintuitiveEating, #bodyrespect, #HAES, #healthateverysize, #bodypositivity, #BoPo, #foodrecovery, #BreakingFreeRecovery, #BreakingFree#Podcast, #Breaking Free:Your Recovery.Your Way., #recoverypatchwork, #eatingrecovery, #recoveryboundaries, #eatingdisorderrecovery, #disorderedeatingrecovery, #TiffanyThoen, #LivPennelle, #Liv’srecoverykitchen, #OliviaPennelle, #LivandTiffany


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In this episode we get real and share our journey in self-forgiveness. Tiffany shares why this topic is near and dear to her heart. She actually cries on air (might be a first, folks!).

We discuss about what prompted us to be intentional in doing self-forgiveness work. You might be surprised!)

We discuss barriers and how we can go about healing as laid out in an article by Beverly Engel L.M.F.T.: “One of the barriers to self-forgiveness …You may view self-forgiveness as ‘letting yourself off the hook,’ as if self-judgment is the only way to improve. But negative self-judgment and self-blaming can actually act as an obstacle to self-improvement. The more shame you feel about your past actions and behaviors, the more your self-esteem is lowered and the less likely it is you will feel motivated to change.”

Beverly goes on to examine how we can go about self-forgiveness.


Self-understanding

Common humanity

Earning your forgiveness: taking responsibility, apologizing and making amends

Asking for forgiveness from your higher power


We talked about the 5 apology languages. It's so important to know what is meaningful for you!

Liv shares her approach to self-forgiveness through the lens of parenting a small child.

Tiffany shares her favorite affirmations:

Ho’oponopono prayer: “I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you.”

And another that she adapted: “The person I was in that moment in time did the best that I could with the skills that I had. Forgiveness is a gift I give myself today.”

We rang a bell for:


Sarah Blondin

Dr. Brene Brown

Tara Mohr

Nadia Ghaffari, at Teenz Talk


We hope this episode has been encouraging and supports you in knowing that you are valuable and worthy of respect and you deserve forgiveness. If you are experiencing any barriers to self-forgiveness, we hope you will know you are not alone. Please, if you need it, get support!

Suicide is discussed in this episode. If you or someone you love is suicidal, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255.

We invite you to subscribe to our podcast, and tell us the ways in which you’re breaking free in our free Facebook community: Breaking Free Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/breakingfreecommunity.




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In this episode we talk about the much-avoided topic: SHAME. We explore how shame has wreaked havoc in our lives and then look to the experts for their perspective.


Dr. Brene Brown talks about shame in her work. We love her work and her books. She highlights the difference between shame and guilt. Guilt is I did something bad, shame is I am bad. According to Brown, “Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging ... Shame creates feelings of fear, blame and disconnect.”

From the Habits for Wellbeing Blog: Shame has been associated with depression, grief, anxiety, eating disorders, addiction and violence.

An awesome article in The BMJ (British Medical Journal), that highlights the lack of research, and acknowledgement of the power of shame and its impact on health.


Liv talks about her experience of shame — feeling as though she wasn’t accepted in many areas of her life and working through it. We know that this work is an ongoing process. Tiffany shared how shame has shown up in her life, including in her relationship with food, in behaviors like numbing, overworking, and avoiding, and in feeling like she wasn't good enough and trying to make up for it.

We rang a bell for:

J.F. Benoist’s book: Addicted to the Monkey Mind.

Nadine Burke’s book: The Deepest Well.

Liv’s article on diet culture and shame, soon to be released by The Fix.

We also dive into what to do about shame, such as recognizing it and increasing awareness (knowing what it feels like in our body), speaking it, and sharing our story. Last but not least, we work on self-forgiveness. Be sure to listen to our next episode on self-forgiveness!

We invite you to subscribe to our podcast, and tell us the ways in which you’re breaking free in our free Facebook community: Breaking Free Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/breakingfreecommunity.



#Recovery #Allpaths, #allpathways, #recoverypathways, #BreakingFree, #12steprecovery, #AlcoholicsAnonymous, #alternativepathways, #alternativesToAA, #sober, #sobriety,  #diets #dont #work, #anti-diet, #Intuitive Eating, #Diet culture, #why #cant #I #stop #eating, #help #with #overeating, #binge #eating, #binging, #life #after #12 #step #recovery, #body attunement, #Disorderedeating, #eatingdisorders, #sugaraddiction, #Alcoholism, #addiction, #how #to #live #sober, #sobriety,#how tostopdrinking, #recoverypodcast, #sobrietypodcast, #whatisntuitiveEating, #bodyrespect, #HAES, #healthateverysize, #bodypositivity, #BoPo, #foodrecovery, #BreakingFreeRecovery, #BreakingFreePodcast, #Breaking Free: Your Recovery.Your Way., #recoverypatchwork, #eatingrecovery, #recoveryboundaries, #eatingdisorderrecovery, #disorderedeatingrecovery, #TiffanyThoen, #LivPennelle, #Liv’srecoverykitchen, #OliviaPennelle, #LivandTiffany


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Show notes:

In this conversation we talk to Irina about Latinx culture and her experience of stigma that surrounds mental health.

We also discuss what recovery looks like to her, what has been helpful in her recovery, and how to access support.

Suicide is discussed in this episode. If you or someone you love is suicidal, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255.

Resources

SAMHSA Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator

Bio

Irina Gonzalez is an editor and freelance writer covering Latinx culture, sober living, parenting, and all things lifestyle. Her work has been featured in Oprah magazine, Glamour, Marie Claire, and more. She's also an audiobook enthusiast and creator of the Self-Care For Writers newsletter. She lives in Florida with her husband and their attention-loving kitties and pup. You can find her writing on her portfolio site, http://irinagonzalez.com, or by following her on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

We invite you to subscribe to our podcast, and tell us the ways in which you’re breaking free in our free Facebook community: Breaking Free Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/breakingfreecommunity.


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As we alluded to in our conversation with Lynn: The instance of trauma and adverse childhood experiences is high for people in recovery, with at least two-thirds of us having experienced some kind of trauma.

We have a responsibility as members of the recovery community to be more trauma-aware so that we can support one another in getting the help we need, but also in being mindful of how certain behaviors could be triggering.

Here are some of the ways we can be more trauma-aware:


If leading a meditation, consider that asking someone to close their eyes to meditate might be triggering. Provide alternative options

Consider leaving the door to a meeting open

Don’t block the exits

Do not silence or minimize others’ experiences

Do not practice toxic positivity

Accept differences

Understand that the 12-steps or another mutual-aid program cannot “fix” an individual and that outside help is required

If in a sponsor role, consider pausing when someone mentions a trauma and know your limitations. If unsure, refer to guidelines about the role of a sponsor

Know that a meeting is not the answer if someone is exhausted, or feeling triggered

Do not make someone stay in a meeting if they try to leave because they are feeling triggered

Read books about trauma: Childhood Disrupted, The Body Keeps the Score, and Trauma and the 12 Steps

Never suggest that a sponsee make amends to an abuser

Do not shame someone, or suggest they do more research, if one method of recovery doesn’t work for them


We invite you to subscribe to our podcast, and tell us the ways in which you’re breaking free in our free Facebook community: Breaking Free Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/breakingfreecommunity.



#Recovery #Allpaths, #allpathways, #recoverypathways, #BreakingFree, #12steprecovery, #AlcoholicsAnonymous, #alternativepathways, #alternativesToAA, #sober, #sobriety,  diets dont work, anti-diet, Intuitive Eating, Diet culture, why cant I stop eating, help with overeating, binge eating, binging, life after 12 step recovery, body attunement, Disordered eating, eating disorders, sugar addiction, Alcoholism, addiction, how to live sober, sobriety, how to stop drinking, recovery podcast, sobriety podcast, what is Intuitive Eating, body respect, HAES, health at every size, body positivity, BoPo, food recovery, Breaking Free Recovery, Breaking Free Podcast, Breaking Free: Your Recovery. Your Way., recovery patchwork, eating recovery, recovery boundaries, eating disorder recovery, disordered eating recovery, Tiffany Thoen, Liv Pennelle, Liv’s recovery kitchen, Olivia Pennelle, Liv and Tiffany


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