16 min
Dead bunnies, COVID meltdowns, and other empathy failures: personal reflections from Liesel Mertes Handle with Care: Empathy at Work
-
- Business
Liesel Mertes
It's been a pretty eventful and emotional week and a half in my house now with six people in the house. There's always high emotion throw into the mix that two of my children are preadolescents. And you can guess all of the back and forth that go on. But this last week and a half has had some particular inflection points. We had a beloved family pet die.
We've been quarantined because of a possible COIVD diagnosis. And there's just been a lot of general stress in the ER. So today, I want to take a break from our normal cycle of interviewing a guest and having them talk about a disruptive life event to just give you some real talk about empathy and October 2020 in the thick of the COVID pandemic,
MUSICAL TRANSITION
Liesel Mertes
Now, there are a number of you who might know me just as the voice behind the Handle with Care podcast interviews. But I actually have a broader business outside of this. I'm a workplace empathy consultant. And what that means is I help companies and individuals come alongside people in their workplaces to help them survive, stabilize and thrive as they go through disruptive life events.
One of the ways that I do this is I teach them about these empathy avatars. These are these identities that we can take on. They're shaped by all kinds of things. They're shaped by your culture of upbringing. They're shaped by your personality. And they are the tool kit that you go to to respond out of when people are going through a hard time. So some of the names of these characters are people like Commiserating. Candice, you're always sharing your own hard story or Cheer Up Cheryl.
Liesel Mertes
And I want to share with you in today's episode two things that happened in the stress of the last week and a half.
And I want to we've you know, usually we have three takeaways that are always at the end. I want to weave the three takeaways throughout my comments and tell you how I found myself responding during these times of high stress and anxiety, hopefully connect with you. OK, so first I want to talk about this COVID diagnosis, so my son Magnus, he goes to the nurse's office more than any of my other children.
I think he likes the care that's there. He's very in tune with pain and his body. And I sent him off to school on Monday and he was experiencing some sinus congestion, no fever.
Liesel Mertes
I gave him a Claritin, but he was tired and he headed off to school till around nine 30. I received a call from the nurse. I'm in the middle of a training and I get this call from the nurse who tells me she has Magnus in the nurse's office and she thinks that maybe there's a chance that he has COIVD. Now, I'm really glad that people are taking COVID seriously, that they are all of these procedures in place in schools.
Liesel Mertes
And she told me that he checked off enough boxes that he needed to go to a 10 day quarantine unless he came back with a negative COVID test.
So baseline, this is sad news, my hope Magnus does not have covered, but really my first response was just to be so frustrated that I was being called into the nurse's office.
Liesel Mertes
What was this going to mean for me, for my schedule, for all of the things we had planned for the other children for the rest of the week, if we all had to quarantine? And I find myself just being irritated. And frankly, I was so glad that I was wearing a mask in the nurse's office so she couldn't see all of the aggravation and irritation that I was feeling towards my son manifest on my face. So I have to go.
I have to pick him up. And as we're walking to the car, I find myself going full on Buck-Up Bobby, which is one of these empathy avatars that I introduce people to Buck-Up Bobby wants you to be able to tough it out because that's what he expects of himself and that's what he expects of you.
Liesel Mertes
And as I was walking out to the car, here's what I find myself
Liesel Mertes
It's been a pretty eventful and emotional week and a half in my house now with six people in the house. There's always high emotion throw into the mix that two of my children are preadolescents. And you can guess all of the back and forth that go on. But this last week and a half has had some particular inflection points. We had a beloved family pet die.
We've been quarantined because of a possible COIVD diagnosis. And there's just been a lot of general stress in the ER. So today, I want to take a break from our normal cycle of interviewing a guest and having them talk about a disruptive life event to just give you some real talk about empathy and October 2020 in the thick of the COVID pandemic,
MUSICAL TRANSITION
Liesel Mertes
Now, there are a number of you who might know me just as the voice behind the Handle with Care podcast interviews. But I actually have a broader business outside of this. I'm a workplace empathy consultant. And what that means is I help companies and individuals come alongside people in their workplaces to help them survive, stabilize and thrive as they go through disruptive life events.
One of the ways that I do this is I teach them about these empathy avatars. These are these identities that we can take on. They're shaped by all kinds of things. They're shaped by your culture of upbringing. They're shaped by your personality. And they are the tool kit that you go to to respond out of when people are going through a hard time. So some of the names of these characters are people like Commiserating. Candice, you're always sharing your own hard story or Cheer Up Cheryl.
Liesel Mertes
And I want to share with you in today's episode two things that happened in the stress of the last week and a half.
And I want to we've you know, usually we have three takeaways that are always at the end. I want to weave the three takeaways throughout my comments and tell you how I found myself responding during these times of high stress and anxiety, hopefully connect with you. OK, so first I want to talk about this COVID diagnosis, so my son Magnus, he goes to the nurse's office more than any of my other children.
I think he likes the care that's there. He's very in tune with pain and his body. And I sent him off to school on Monday and he was experiencing some sinus congestion, no fever.
Liesel Mertes
I gave him a Claritin, but he was tired and he headed off to school till around nine 30. I received a call from the nurse. I'm in the middle of a training and I get this call from the nurse who tells me she has Magnus in the nurse's office and she thinks that maybe there's a chance that he has COIVD. Now, I'm really glad that people are taking COVID seriously, that they are all of these procedures in place in schools.
Liesel Mertes
And she told me that he checked off enough boxes that he needed to go to a 10 day quarantine unless he came back with a negative COVID test.
So baseline, this is sad news, my hope Magnus does not have covered, but really my first response was just to be so frustrated that I was being called into the nurse's office.
Liesel Mertes
What was this going to mean for me, for my schedule, for all of the things we had planned for the other children for the rest of the week, if we all had to quarantine? And I find myself just being irritated. And frankly, I was so glad that I was wearing a mask in the nurse's office so she couldn't see all of the aggravation and irritation that I was feeling towards my son manifest on my face. So I have to go.
I have to pick him up. And as we're walking to the car, I find myself going full on Buck-Up Bobby, which is one of these empathy avatars that I introduce people to Buck-Up Bobby wants you to be able to tough it out because that's what he expects of himself and that's what he expects of you.
Liesel Mertes
And as I was walking out to the car, here's what I find myself
16 min