Diary, She Wrote Diary She Wrote, Liz Beardsell

If you’ve listened to the other 23 episodes of Diary, She Wrote, you may have picked up on some of my insecurities. These mainly centre around not feeling intelligent enough and not talking enough in social situations. After a therapy session and with the therapists comments in mind I read back over my time at school and it became obvious how year after year my school’s class rating system and some teachers' comments were no doubt partly responsible for installing my perception of my intelligence which in turn impacts my confidence when it comes to talking up in social situations. I had been aware of my insecurities all my life but they only really started to surface and to become a hindrance in my mid 30’s, so in order to try and figure out how to better deal with them I went to see said therapist.

Follow: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Rowan - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Flossie, Ryan, Nina & Cara - London friends

Paula - My therapist

Dan - My ex boyfriend who I spent 11 years with from 2001 - 2012

Eric - A guy I dated

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth and artwork by Robbie Porter.

The last we heard from Dexter Turner was in November 2018 when I was in Paris for my 37th birthday, he rang and then looked into Eurostar tickets to see if he could afford to join me for a night. He didn’t, but of course that was never going to be the last time I heard from him...

Follow: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Dexter Turner - A guy who briefly entered and quickly exited my life on a number of occasions and unjustifiably has become one of those people who is hard to shake off and annoyingly someone I’m quite fond of.

Beth - My best mate

Rowan - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Grace - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Hayley, Nina, Ryan, Jade, Tori, Monty - London friends

George - An amazing man who I dated for 3 months

Maya - A girl I met in a Club in Nottingham, had what I thought was a one night stand, but it turned into something a little more complicated.

Eric - A guy I dated

Isaac - A London friend and the first man I fancied after ending an 11 year relationship

Billie - A holiday fling

Entertainment References:

Barbican - Beatie Wolfe, From Red to Green - An Environmental Statement of our Times
https://www.barbican.org.uk/whats-on/2019/event/from-green-to-red

He’s Just Not That Into You
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/He's_Just_Not_That_Into_You_(film)

Friends With Benefits
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friends_with_Benefits_(film)

Millennial Love Podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/millennial-love/id1286791385

Constellations
https://www.robertrowlandsmith.com/

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth and artwork by Robbie Porter.

I didn’t experience your standard university life, from 2000 - 2003 I went to a tiny little art college in Epsom, called The Surrey Institute of Art & Design to study Fashion Promotion & Illustration. There were probably only about 1,500 students on campus, no halls of residence, only student houses, the cafeteria doubled up as the student union bar and the opening of a new Yates & Wetherspoons was as exciting as it got. There were 2 locations you could loosely call a club, and then there was the Odeon cinema.

I found the first year very up and down. I am dramatically hating life one day and then loving it the next. For the most part I was jealous of my school friends living out the stereotypical student life in city centres like Leeds, Sheffield and Liverpool. I didn’t appreciate the new friendships I was building, as I was comparing 6-month friendships to ones that I had cultivated over 6 years and in my first year of uni I was obsessed with wanting to be friends with the group I deemed to be the popular & cool crowd. At school, everyone knew me, and I found it so difficult to suddenly be in a space where no one cared who I was.

I don’t have any student stories or endless drinking or constant partying. But what I will share are my coming of age experiences over my 3 years at uni; moving away from home for the first time, making new friends, learning how to self motivate, recognising my potential and finding a career focussed job in the industry I had aspired to work in since religiously watching The Clothes Show on TV every Sunday night as a teenager.

Follow: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Beth - My best mate

Ashley, Ellie, Dawn, Sally, Harriet, Amber, Erica - Some of my oldest friends

Dan - My ex boyfriend who I spent 11 years with from 2001 - 2012

Locations:

The Surrey Institute of Art & Design - Now called
https://www.uca.ac.uk/life-at-uca/locations/epsom/

Odeon Epsom
https://www.odeon.co.uk/cinemas/epsom/

Wetherspoons Cheadle Hulme
https://www.greatukpubs.co.uk/kings-tap-cheadle-hulme?utm_source=google&utm_medium=local_seo_gmb&utm_content=website

Topshop Oxford Circus
https://www.businessoffashion.com/news/retail/topshops-flagship-oxford-street-store-up-for-sale

Entertainment References:

The Clothes Show
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Clothes_Show

Harry Potter 2001
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Potter_and_the_Philosopher's_Stone_(film)

Graduate Fashion Week
https://www.graduatefashionweek.com/

Helmet Newton Photo Machine
https://www.dazeddigital.com/fashion/article/168/1/topshops-newton-machine

Topshop Unique LFW
https://www.vogue.com/fashion-shows/spring-2006-ready-to-wear/topshop-unique

Dazed and Confused
https://www.dazeddigital.com/

Twenty Twenty Podcast
https://messageheard.com/podcasts/twenty-twenty-pop-culture-podcast

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth and artwork by Robbie Porter.

This story is taken from a 7 month period from November 2018 - May 2019 and it follows 3 overlapping dating encounters with; Miles, Clive & tall Neil, all with very different and unexpected outcomes. Sometimes you get what you want out of dating, sometimes you don’t and sometimes you end up with a total surprise.

Follow: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Miles - A guy I dated

Jack - An amazing man who I dated for 2 months

Elliot Lite - A Parisian fling

Clive - A guy I dated

Reggie - A guy I dated

George - An amazing man who I dated for 3 months

Tall Neil - A guy I dated

Dan - My ex boyfriend who I spent 11 years with from 2001 - 2012

Beth - My best mate

Morgan, Ned, Michelle & Heather - A London friend

Locations:

Victoria Park
https://www.towerhamlets.gov.uk/lgnl/leisure_and_culture/parks_and_open_spaces/victoria_park/victoria_park.aspx

100 Club
https://www.the100club.co.uk/

The Victoria
http://www.jaguarshoes.com/venues/the-victoria/

3 Compasses
https://www.3compasses.com/

The Spread Eagle
https://www.thespreadeaglelondon.co.uk/

Star by Hackney Downs
https://starbyhackneydowns.co.uk/

My Neighbours The Dumplings
https://www.myneighboursthedumplings.com/

Pembury Tavern
https://www.pemburytavern.co.uk/

The Good Egg
https://www.thegoodegg.co/

Entertainment References:

This Is England
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Is_England

Christian Marclay - The Clock
https://www.tate.org.uk/whats-on/tate-modern/exhibition/christian-marclay-clock

Kate Tempest Running Upon The Wires
https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/running-upon-the-wires-9781635570199/

Free Solo
https://films.nationalgeographic.com/free-solo

It’s Nice To Hear You Podcast
https://www.itsnicetohearyou.com/

Cultural References:

5 languages of love; words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch
https://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Arthur Aron Theory of the 36 questions
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0146167297234003

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth and artwork by Robbie Porter.

Unfortunately during my 8 years of dating I have been confronted with 4 different uncomfortable encounters, one was with Maya from Ep. 2 - The Hope and one was with James from Ep. 13 - I’ve Changed My Mind. On both of those occasions I was put in uncomfortable and non consensual situations. In this episode I look at 2 stories that draw attention to the safety of women and the instinctual decisions we need to make in the moment when it comes to heterosexual dating.

At the time I was fresh into dating after a long term relationship with a very good man, so perhaps I was quite naive, always thinking I could bring out the best in someone and maybe a little bit vulnerable seeking and enjoying attention and quickly getting consumed in the moment. Fortunately neither of these stories were damaging, but I hope by sharing my experiences it will help others to recognise signs of discomfort, follow their instincts, create boundaries and have the confidence to leave difficult situations.

Tinder launched in 2012, and in the summer of 2013 I remember a friend telling me about this new dating app, and how brilliant it was. I was still a bit of a snob about online dating but eventually I caved and soon got sucked into the world of modern dating.

Follow: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Stephen Minder - My first Tinder experience

Sam - A guy I dated

Beth - My best mate

Rowan - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Heather, Jessica, Adina, Stephanie and Melissa - London friends

Frank - A Tinder match

Isaac - A London friend and the first man I fancied after ending an 11 year relationship

Locations:

Broadway Market
https://broadwaymarket.co.uk/

The Spurstowe Arms
http://www.thespurstowearms.com/

The Cock
https://www.facebook.com/CockTavernBrewPub/

Oslo
http://oslohackney.com/

The Haggerston
https://www.facebook.com/thehaggerston/

Pizza East
http://www.pizzaeast.com/

Entertainment References:

Tinder
https://tinder.com

Peaky Blinders
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peaky_Blinders_(TV_series)

Candy Crush
https://www.king.com/game/candycrush

Ariel Too Big To Fail
https://open.spotify.com/album/5vWp4E5iRzx8VEWmESUvl0

Refuge Charity:

Refuge
https://www.refuge.org.uk/

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth and artwork by Robbie Porter.

Throughout your life, every now and then, you meet someone who goes on to change your life. You’ll have heard me talk a lot about Rowan throughout the podcast. I met Rowan in 2012 and over the course of time she changed my life for the better and I am incredibly grateful. We worked together for a few years where our friendship began to form, but it was only when she moved on to a new job that we really started to bond and she invited me into her world and to meet her friends and I was welcomed by an amazing group of people who went on to help shape my next chapter; they make me laugh, they inspire me and I learn so much from them and I am always in a very happy place when I’m with them. Between 2015 - 2019 we would always rent a house in the country to celebrate New Year’s Eve. Each year it was never the exact same group of friends, as some would have work or have family commitments or might be celebrating elsewhere, but that meant we could then invite others which allowed us to continue to expand the friendship circle. I’ve picked out 2 of our New Year celebrations, and with it being New Year there are quite a few drug references in this episode, but for me this is a story about the love of friendship, creating shared memories and the joy of merging friends.

Follow: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Rowan - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Flossie, Jay, Cara, Walt, Anne, Ryan, Nina, Morgan, Adam, Chloe, Morgan, Tim, Dave, Mary - London friends

Locations:

Lumiere - now closed down
http://lumierelondon.blogspot.com/

Tywyn Wales
https://www.visitmidwales.co.uk/Tywyn-Tywyn/details/?dms=3&venue=1023165

Kings Lynn
https://www.visitwestnorfolk.com/places/kings-lynn/

Entertainment References:

Frozen
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frozen_(2013_film)

12 Years a Slave
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/12_Years_a_Slave_(film)

Elf
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elf_(film)

Zootopia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zootopia

The Mannequin Challenge
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mannequin_Challenge

Ecstasy: The Battle of Rave
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/p08qw04h

Beats
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beats_(2019_British_film)

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth and artwork by Robbie Porter.