50 min
Episode 131: 3 Box Model - Deny, Fight or Use it The Self Development Podcast
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- Entrepreneurship
What is the 3 Box Model?
Philosophies and religions both talk about the concept that we can decide how we feel about events – it’s our choice on how we react. This model takes that concept and helps you to do precisely that. It is a framework that allows you to consider everything that has happened, is happening and may happen and supports you in deciding how you are going to react and to use it.
The three box model is a framework where you can consciously frame what has, what is or will happen in your personal or professional life. Why this is important
We can spend so much time and energy trying to bury things, pretend things are different, that we are different and when we do this, all that time and energy doesn’t move us forward. It doesn’t make us happier. By taking control of what is in each box we get to choose what to spend our time on. Important in that is the ‘we”.
We take control. Nobody else. We get to determine what we want. We choose what will take our energy, time and focus.
Will a particular situation work against you, be a constant battle to control or actually work for you?
You get to choose.This self determination is a key part of Self Development.
This model is a new tool in your mental tool box. This can help you to prepare yourself for a better outcome – allow you to take more control over what is happening and what is going to happen next. This means a more confident version of ‘You’. More authentic. A ‘You’ who is spending their energy better, leading to a more successful, happier version of you. You get to channel issues and experiences so you get better returns and a higher self confidence
Stephen walks us through the model and the 3 boxes - Deny It - Fight it and Use it.
When Stephen first introduced me to this model there was an immediate impact - understanding the framework allowed me to make sense of some things that I was unable to nail down before.
Once we understand that there are 3 boxes with issues sitting within each it helps to make sense about some of the things that are working really well for us – and why we sometimes seem to struggle. This understanding on its own is a confidence builder
Then there is the knowledge that the boxes remain where they are – but that issues can be moved from box to box. And you can make that happen. You can choose which issue is something you’re going to move up the chain and improve your own self confidence
As you get more comfortable with the model you get to think more strategically - Which situations work against you? Be a constant battle to control? Or actually work for you? Which situations is it time to move? Which do I need to acknowledge are there?
Some notes:
1 Naming – naming issues and situations is the start of objectifying them. Once it is a a named object, it feels more controllable. Visible. Manageable.
2 Acknowledge it – understand that it is in a box already. Something you are already denying, fighting against or using.
3 Choose what you want to move. There will always be something in each of the 3 boxes. Some will remain where they are for a long time. That’s ok – you’re choosing the order. Consciously.
4 One step at a time. Don’t try to jump from Deny straight to Use it – ‘Fight It’ is a good staging post to get there.
5 Good things count too. Acknowledging and appreciating that good things live in the boxes too. Don’t deny your own part in your successes. Don’t fight against recognising your skills. This will lead to a drop in your confidence and the Imposter syndrome. Accept and Use what you did and let it fuel your next success.
Any thoughts or comments let us know at podcast@coachpro.online
Full Transcript at
https://rhinoconsulting.nl/episode-131-three-boxes-deny-fight-or-use-it First 10 minutes transcript below
Warren Hammond 01:07
Welcome back Podcats to another conversation with me Warren, and CEO of CoachPro Stephen Gribben
What is the 3 Box Model?
Philosophies and religions both talk about the concept that we can decide how we feel about events – it’s our choice on how we react. This model takes that concept and helps you to do precisely that. It is a framework that allows you to consider everything that has happened, is happening and may happen and supports you in deciding how you are going to react and to use it.
The three box model is a framework where you can consciously frame what has, what is or will happen in your personal or professional life. Why this is important
We can spend so much time and energy trying to bury things, pretend things are different, that we are different and when we do this, all that time and energy doesn’t move us forward. It doesn’t make us happier. By taking control of what is in each box we get to choose what to spend our time on. Important in that is the ‘we”.
We take control. Nobody else. We get to determine what we want. We choose what will take our energy, time and focus.
Will a particular situation work against you, be a constant battle to control or actually work for you?
You get to choose.This self determination is a key part of Self Development.
This model is a new tool in your mental tool box. This can help you to prepare yourself for a better outcome – allow you to take more control over what is happening and what is going to happen next. This means a more confident version of ‘You’. More authentic. A ‘You’ who is spending their energy better, leading to a more successful, happier version of you. You get to channel issues and experiences so you get better returns and a higher self confidence
Stephen walks us through the model and the 3 boxes - Deny It - Fight it and Use it.
When Stephen first introduced me to this model there was an immediate impact - understanding the framework allowed me to make sense of some things that I was unable to nail down before.
Once we understand that there are 3 boxes with issues sitting within each it helps to make sense about some of the things that are working really well for us – and why we sometimes seem to struggle. This understanding on its own is a confidence builder
Then there is the knowledge that the boxes remain where they are – but that issues can be moved from box to box. And you can make that happen. You can choose which issue is something you’re going to move up the chain and improve your own self confidence
As you get more comfortable with the model you get to think more strategically - Which situations work against you? Be a constant battle to control? Or actually work for you? Which situations is it time to move? Which do I need to acknowledge are there?
Some notes:
1 Naming – naming issues and situations is the start of objectifying them. Once it is a a named object, it feels more controllable. Visible. Manageable.
2 Acknowledge it – understand that it is in a box already. Something you are already denying, fighting against or using.
3 Choose what you want to move. There will always be something in each of the 3 boxes. Some will remain where they are for a long time. That’s ok – you’re choosing the order. Consciously.
4 One step at a time. Don’t try to jump from Deny straight to Use it – ‘Fight It’ is a good staging post to get there.
5 Good things count too. Acknowledging and appreciating that good things live in the boxes too. Don’t deny your own part in your successes. Don’t fight against recognising your skills. This will lead to a drop in your confidence and the Imposter syndrome. Accept and Use what you did and let it fuel your next success.
Any thoughts or comments let us know at podcast@coachpro.online
Full Transcript at
https://rhinoconsulting.nl/episode-131-three-boxes-deny-fight-or-use-it First 10 minutes transcript below
Warren Hammond 01:07
Welcome back Podcats to another conversation with me Warren, and CEO of CoachPro Stephen Gribben
50 min