65 episodes

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey explores the glorious and unique language of football: the words, the phrases, the mannerisms and, above all, the clichés

Football Cliches - A show about the language of footbal‪l‬ The Athletic

    • Soccer
    • 4.7 • 151 Ratings

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey explores the glorious and unique language of football: the words, the phrases, the mannerisms and, above all, the clichés

    Half-yards, acres of space and the corridor of uncertainty: mapping the modern football pitch

    Half-yards, acres of space and the corridor of uncertainty: mapping the modern football pitch

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Michael Cox navigate their way around the language of the football pitch, from the fabled "mixer" to the sovereign state of "James Ward-Prowse territory". How big is a "pocket of space"? How exactly does a goalkeeper find themselves in "no man's land"? And will football ever go fully metric?
    They also discuss whether "cheese slice" is ever an acceptable way to describe a yellow card and precisely what constitutes "rolling back the years", before Charlie and Michael go head-to-head in the latest instalment of "Out Of Control". 
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    • 1 hr 13 min
    Dominik Diamond on match-going priests, training ground bust-ups and the state of footballer's socks

    Dominik Diamond on match-going priests, training ground bust-ups and the state of footballer's socks

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by TV and radio presenter and former GamesMaster host Dominik Diamond for another edition of 'Mesut Haaland Dicks'.
    Dominik waxes lyrical about ticket-touting priests in Barcelona, 10-year-old matchday gangsters in Glasgow, hilariously polite Canadian soccer fans and how he was partly responsible for David "Calamity" James' Liverpool blunders.
    Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel discuss who Line of Duty's DI Steve Arnott supports, rate Gary Neville's Andy Gray impression out of 10, and wonder why "training-ground bust-up" has become so enshrined in the language of football.
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    • 1 hr 18 min
    The Sunday League XI

    The Sunday League XI

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker celebrate the return of grassroots football by taking a voyage through the classic Sunday League lineup, an XI of precious goalkeepers, dutiful right-backs, reluctant left-backs, chatty centre-halves, spherical but untouchable midfield playmakers and The Big Man Up Front.
    They also examine the anatomy of every half-time Sunday League team talk ever, why the words "All day!" can ruin an entire weekend, and the most important skill of all: getting yourself a lift home afterwards.
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    • 1 hr 26 min
    Getting "in and around" with Doc Brown

    Getting "in and around" with Doc Brown

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by rapper, comedian, actor and writer Ben Bailey Smith, aka Doc Brown, for another edition of 'Mesut Haaland Dicks'.
    Among the things Ben can finally get off his chest are weirdly old-fashioned football chants, the pure joy of Ian Wright and a deep, deep dive into the mandatory punditry phrase that is "in and around".
    Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel also explore Martin Tyler's obsession with "the Croydon De Bruyne", a very peculiar pronunciation of "Cantona" and poor Joe Hart's post-match Instagram hell.
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    • 1 hr 15 min
    Pele, Zlatan and the small matter of global thermonuclear war

    Pele, Zlatan and the small matter of global thermonuclear war

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller convene for an extended meeting of the Adjudication Panel, in which they try and untangle the statistical chaos of Pele vs Cristiano Ronaldo, celebrate the phrase “basement boys” and decide which footballing things would survive a nuclear apocalypse.
    They also decide if anyone has the patience for a summer of “Zlatan” at the Euros, ponder the age-old clichés of retired footballers, before Charlie and Nick go head-to-head in the first edition of new quiz format “Out of Control”.
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    • 55 min
    Tom Rosenthal on World Cup balls and celebrating goals that didn't actually go in

    Tom Rosenthal on World Cup balls and celebrating goals that didn't actually go in

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Jack Pitt-Brooke are joined by actor and comedian Tom Rosenthal for the latest edition of 'Mesut Haaland Dicks'.
    Tom's gloriously niche picks for his loves and hates of modern football include teams wearing emergency kit combinations, the humiliation of celebrating goals that don't actually go in, and fans who shout futile tactical advice from the stands.
    Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel also discuss whether commentators should be allowed to mention rival broadcasters during a game and whether there can ever be such a thing as "textbook trademark header"
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    • 1 hr 11 min

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5
151 Ratings

151 Ratings

aggzzx ,

Class

Brilliant

Ludwig's van beefoven ,

Great pod - Dominik Diamond episode a total dud

This is a brilliantly funny podcast and I’ve recommended it to a few friends and family.

However, only 4 stars instead of 5 because that Dominik Diamond is absolute garbage...

1. Posh boarding school educated guy trying to act all working class ☑️
2. Obviously made up story about priests scalping tickets☑️
3. Lazy stereotypes about Glasgow kids having foetal alcohol disorder☑️
4. Passing off the Alsatian in the car / fire story that has been heard millions of times and attributed to almost every club in the U.K. ☑️

Had to switch off halfway through (no I’m not a rangers fan)

Chris13wj ,

Fresh approach

Rare in the saturated world of football podcasts to find a fresh take on the beautiful game. The Mesut Haaland Dicks episodes are especially great

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