13 episodes

“I still love him and I miss him.” Losing the thing you are most sure of and coming out the other side - a story about life, love and loss. A 12-part memoir by Sophie Townsend.

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    • Personal Journals
    • 4.7 • 167 Ratings

“I still love him and I miss him.” Losing the thing you are most sure of and coming out the other side - a story about life, love and loss. A 12-part memoir by Sophie Townsend.

    12. Moving

    12. Moving

    He’s still here all the time. Yet he’s not. And a diary has more in it than expected.
    “I’ll feel his absence every day, like a bruise that’s tender to the touch.”
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 32 min
    11. The shoe

    11. The shoe

    “She hates me going into her room”. A pink, strappy, high-heeled shoe causes a big row. The girls are growing up – fast. And now Sophie is crying over a shoe.
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 19 min
    10. Appointment

    10. Appointment

    The washing machine breaks. The bills are mounting. Sophie almost electrocutes herself. And just as it couldn’t get any worse, it’s raining and there’s nowhere for the delivery men to park. Now she is going to be late for her appointment.
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 24 min
    9. Something new

    9. Something new

    “You’ll never find anyone if you’re not online.” Sophie is ready to start dating again but finds it’s done differently now. She meets a man who likes her shoes.
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 29 min
    8. Going under

    8. Going under

    “Mama, I can’t get to you!” There’s unexpected danger on a holiday, when the family is swept out to sea in Byron Bay, Australia.
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 31 min
    7. Port in the storm

    7. Port in the storm

    “His death is nothing like the worst thing. The worst thing is now.” Sophie is struggling after Russell’s death. Everyone is trying to help, but is saying the wrong thing – except one person, who knows what it’s like because his wife has died.
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 25 min

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5
167 Ratings

167 Ratings

cas-26 ,

Simply beautiful x

This has been such a supportive help. We have been told my 50 years old husband has stage 4 bladder cancer with secondary bone cancer. To be told that the treatment offered will be to try and give him as much time as possible. We are heartbroken and very scared. Listening to this podcast has helped me in way I can’t explain. It’s given me some reassurance that what I am feeling isn’t wrong or selfish and even after he’s gone it will be so hard but I will find away through the storm. Thank you for sharing your story in such a beautiful and honest way. Best wishes to you all x

Fatporky ,

I feel the pain

Well what can I say, this was beautiful and poignant. It stirred up emotions, my own husband having died just over 3 years ago at the age of 52, succumbing to a brain tumour and like Sophie leaving our two boys without a father at the age of 12 and 13. I almost feel from this as if I’ve not grieved enough, not gone through a turmoil of emotions. How desperately sad Sophie sounds, how raw and painful things still seem to be. I listened somehow glad that my own journey was a little easier. I loved the honesty and was glad I listened. Thank you Sophie for telling your story

Beauty  ,

Heartbreaking ...

I’ve listened to the whole of this podcast at least three times.

It’s so moving. It’s so real. And it hurts to the core to know that you all suffered so much.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

Much love to you, bear & poppy xXx

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