Refreshingly Human Hannah Pillow

What if there was a way to realise the subtle nuances in intolerance and ignorance? 
Join 2 brown girls one South African the other British, as they deep dive into experiences of racism and ignorance as multicultural women of color.

In this episode, we dive deep into the complex issue of racism and its subtle manifestations. Our guest, Bola, shares her personal experiences and reflections on growing up in the UK.

Racism becomes the ‘Norm’
Bola highlights how racism can be deeply ingrained in society, often going unnoticed or dismissed as the norm. She discusses the importance of education and awareness, acknowledging that as children, we may not have been fully aware of the racism around us. However, as we grow older, we start to realize the significance of racial issues and the need for education and understanding.

Breaking free from the cycle of Ignorance
The conversation delves into the sensitive topic of racial segregation in South Africa, where Hannah shares stories of maids being treated differently and the separation of people based on race. She emphasizes the importance of breaking free from such molds and expanding our perspectives to embrace diversity and different cultures.


Having the tough conversations with love
Bola and our host, Hannah, reflect on their own experiences and acknowledge the need for open dialogue and uncomfortable conversations about racism. They recognize the discomfort and defensiveness that often arise when discussing race, but emphasize the importance of facing these issues head-on.


Tune in to hear this thought-provoking discussion on the complexities of racism, the need for education and awareness, and the importance of embracing diversity. Let's keep the conversation going and strive for a more inclusive and understanding society.


"Racism is subtle and sometimes you do not realize or others do not realize they are being racist because they just see it as that's the way it is. And that's why I think it's complex and it's not so easy to define. Because it has made it so complex."
Bola, The Refreshingly Human Podcast, S7 E4

Did you ever really think about the implications on our identity growing up in a different country from the generations before us?
Crossing the boundaries of culture can present significant challenges for children as they navigate the experience of being immersed in one culture at home while encountering a distinct culture in their broader environment. This situation often results in varying expectations and role models, which can send conflicting messages about social norms and have a complex impact on the development of one's identity.

In this episode of "Refreshingly Human," Hannah engages in a conversation with TJ Wey about her upbringing in America as the child of immigrant parents. They discuss how zhe learned to selectively adopt aspects of zir family heritage and the dominant culture, emphasizing the following points:

The profound impact of encountering racial profiling and micro-aggressions from a young age.

The process of reconciling conflicting information about societal expectations as we grow up and its influence on our identity development.

The significance of the #VeryAsian movement, which encourages individuals to embrace their Asian identity to the extent they desire and selectively incorporate elements from various sources.

The changing landscape for multicultural children in terms of available resources that aid in integrating their diverse cultural backgrounds.

"My Mom would say that I was her retirement plan. That’s where I felt like I really had to unpick it. Because it’s really easy to say, 'Here are the parameters to be a good Asian,' and follow that. However, when it starts hindering you from pursuing your own aspirations, you have to ask yourself, 'Okay, which aspects of this framework aren't serving me, and how can I forge my own path?'"
TJ Wey, The Refreshingly Human Podcast, S7 E3

Have you had a conversation about the color of your skin growing up?
Hannah Pillow did not, because she grew up in South Africa, where the color of her skin was ‘Normal’.

But she soon discovered that in England, Brown meant: Different.

Hannah sheds light on her journey from South Africa to England and the realization of her identity as a brown person.

Growing up in a multicultural bubble: Hannah reflects on her upbringing in South Africa, where she belonged to a close-knit Indian South African community. Despite living in a country with a majority of people of color, she highlights the remnants of the damaging apartheid era that still linger, shaping the cultural dynamics within the society.

The Burden of Otherness: Moving to England introduced Hannah to new experiences of being "othered" by both individuals of her own race and British people. 

Curiosity and Tokenism: Joining a white family through marriage, Hannah encountered curiosity about their culture, often feeling like a representative of all brown people, which she felt was too much to place on her.

Join Hannah in this thought-provoking and entertaining podcast as we embark on a journey of self-discovery, cultural exploration, and candid conversations. Through personal anecdotes and insightful discussions, Hannah aims to challenge stereotypes, promote empathy, and celebrate the vibrant tapestry of humanity. 

Share your own experiences of prejudice and racism, and let's create a space where diverse voices can be heard. Tune in to the Refreshingly Human Podcast, and together, let's break barriers and embrace our shared humanity.

Have you experienced growing up in a community that strongly emphasized cultural identity?
For those of us who have, we learned from an early age the societal roles and expectations imposed upon us as girls and women. Breaking free from those predetermined notions and discovering our authentic selves can be a lengthy process.
In Hannah's case, this exploration led her to distance herself from her family, husband, and country of birth, embarking on a solo journey.
Hannah Pillow engages in a conversation with TJ Wey, delving into her transformative quest for liberation, which involved breaking away from an Islamic family, becoming an entrepreneur in her chosen country, and establishing a company that empowers women to embrace greater freedom and possibility worldwide. Key elements of her narrative encompass:
Growing up within an Islamic family, navigating cultural expectations for women, and navigating her complex relationship with her mother.Opting for marriage as a means of escaping her family, only to find herself trapped in another unhealthy environment.Emancipating herself from her cultural background through divorce and renouncing her religious affiliation.Discovering a genuine escape route by secretly pursuing a teaching qualification and acquiring a visa to leave her home country.Returning to her childhood surroundings with a life and identity she can genuinely be proud of, having crafted it on her own terms.
"There was very little room for me to be a human being growing up. There were so many things that weren’t allowed because of this controlled environment that I was growing up in, because reputation was so important within the community. And reputation would often be disguised as wanting the best for me because of religion; that came with a lot of expectations that I had to be a clone of my mother. This is basically the influence of what I should be.” 
Hannah Pillow,
S7 E1, Refreshingly Human
Keep up to date with Hannah and the podcast:
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Do we need to tolerate our families’ choices, opinions and mindset issues as the Blacksheep and rebels? Look, every family has a Blacksheep, or two, or three, but does that mean we need to accept the labels and boxes that are put on us? How do we go back to the family and hold space for our badass selves?

In this episode I will give you 4 steps on dealing with your family as the Blacksheep and rebel so that you can go home and return feeling like the fucking badass that you are and not feeling like you need to apologize for who you are!

Leave us a review on iTunes here to help us become the #1 podcast for rebels and Blacksheep:

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/refreshingly-human/id1473583656 (https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/refreshingly-human/id1473583656)

Find me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/refreshinglyhumanpodcast/?hl=en (https://www.instagram.com/refreshinglyhumanpodcast/?hl=en)

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HannahPillow12 (https://www.facebook.com/HannahPillow12)


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‘I felt like a failure, I felt like I failed being a human because I needed this pill’

I missed an important exam, I had a car full of hijabs to help keep my mother of my back, I had tension headaches and chest pains… I needed help.

This is my experience with taking anti-depressants, let’s remove the shame of needing medical help to assist our mental health.

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Leave us a rating and review here:

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Flashback episode with CBT practitioner Sarah: https://anchor.fm/breakthroughthis/episodes/S3-E9-Emotions-All-your-feelings-are-Valid--With-CBT-Practitioner-Sarah-Kilcullen-ene65c


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