26 episodes

Manor Rott, Grott & Snott, based in the beautiful area of the North York Moors, is a place no-one can leave. The Manor and the villages around are held by an enchantment no-one understands and a darkness intent on keeping them captive.
However, because of the effects of the darkness and enchantment, strange things happen and unexpected heroes emerge. Although, as you would expect, as well as unexpected heroes, there are also unexpected villains and it is sometimes difficult to tell who is good and who is bad.
In a series of exciting stories, the history of the enchantment and the battle to set the Manor and the villages free take place.
Meet characters like Sir Winefry, Scragg the cat, Horatio the Border Terror, The Baron, Eller Beck, Roseberry Topping, Thornton and more as you find yourself drawn into their strange world.

Horatio and the Story of the Manor Andrew Devis

    • Fiction
    • 5.0 • 1 Rating

Manor Rott, Grott & Snott, based in the beautiful area of the North York Moors, is a place no-one can leave. The Manor and the villages around are held by an enchantment no-one understands and a darkness intent on keeping them captive.
However, because of the effects of the darkness and enchantment, strange things happen and unexpected heroes emerge. Although, as you would expect, as well as unexpected heroes, there are also unexpected villains and it is sometimes difficult to tell who is good and who is bad.
In a series of exciting stories, the history of the enchantment and the battle to set the Manor and the villages free take place.
Meet characters like Sir Winefry, Scragg the cat, Horatio the Border Terror, The Baron, Eller Beck, Roseberry Topping, Thornton and more as you find yourself drawn into their strange world.

    Episode 26 - The 'Place'

    Episode 26 - The 'Place'

    Music: Majestic Nature by Craig Stuart Garfinkle

    Artwork by Steve English

    The script:
    Episode 26 - The ‘Place’
    Suddenly, Eller’s senses were awash with feelings she’d almost given up hope of ever experiencing again. How long she’d sat in that penetrating, all-encompassing blackness, she didn’t know. Now the problem wasn’t lack of sensation but, rather, being overwhelmed by so many sensations that it made her feel vulnerable.
    Where there had been darkness and only the sound of her heartbeat (and the pulse of something she really didn't want to think about), now there was light, noise, smell. A gentle breeze caressed her body and, slowly, she became aware of others in the place where she sat.
    Of course, having been isolated from people for such a long time, Eller’s assumption was that these people couldn't see her. One of them caught her interest, moving slowly around and... pouring cups of tea! With the light being so intense, Eller took a moment to realise who it was. It was Roseberry! But this was no ordinary Roseberry. This was the Roseberry she’d seen on that night so long ago. Beautiful, filled with light and... busying herself with something so ordinary and mundane and, yet, so wonderful to watch after her time imprisoned in the darkness.
    Roseberry finished pouring tea into 3 cups and some on a saucer. Then, as Eller watched, Roseberry picked up one of the cups, turned and walked towards her. Eller was so convinced she couldn't be seen, that she actually looked over her shoulder to see who Roseberry was taking it to. There was no one behind her.
    Roseberry stopped right in front of Eller, staring into the lost girl's eyes. Eller gazed back, unable to stem the tears that started to stream down her face. Roseberry bent forwards, holding out the cup to the crying girl who looked so young as she sat there with her arms wrapped around her legs. Eller didn't move, so Roseberry crouched down by her side, the cup of tea still in her hands.
    ‘Eller, my love, it’s wonderful to see you again. I’ve missed you so very much.’ There was such love in Roseberry’s voice that her tears flowed even faster, and she began to sob quietly.
    Still unable to move, Eller felt something warm and wet on the back of her arm. Turning to look, a beautiful border terrier forced his face between her arms, unwrapping them from around her legs, as he demanded love and attention. Despite herself, Eller started to laugh and scratched his ears whilst trying to avoid the worst of the licking. Then, looking up at Roseberry, who was still crouching and holding the teacup, the expression on Eller’s face asked, ‘What’s happening?’
    The older woman put the cup down and flopped onto her bottom beside Eller, to give her a hug. Meanwhile, a young man, not much more than a boy, stood nearby looking unsure what to do.
    When Eller stopped stroking the dog, he rushed over to the young man who seemed to know exactly how to fuss over a dog. In fact, he seemed a little relieved to have something to do.
    After a long hug with Roseberry, Eller eventually pulled herself together enough to ask, ‘How do you know me?’
    Roseberry smiled but didn’t answer immediately. Instead, she gave Eller a quizzical look.
    Eller suddenly remembered. ‘Grandma!’ she exclaimed. Then, once again they threw their arms around each other, sobbing and laughing all at once.
    The young man concentrated on spoiling the dog!
    The place they were in wasn’t a real place, as they discovered when, after a little while, Thornton walked through and yet didn't see or notice them. Then a few more people came and went, busy doing chores. However, the people who came after Thornton all seemed less… tangible… than Thornton, more ghostly and yet obviously not ghosts. It was Roseberry who was the one to be surprised this time.
    ‘Oh, so that’s where the

    • 23 min
    Episode 25 - Lost

    Episode 25 - Lost

    Music: Majestic Nature by Craig Stuart Garfinkle

    Artwork by Steve English

    The script:
    Episode 25 - Lost
    Inside Manor Rott, Grott and Snott, it seemed that 'all hell' had let loose.
    In one of the living rooms, the Baron was jumping and darting to avoid what appeared to be a possessed vacuum cleaner, intent on killing him.
    Sitting in his room and rocking back and forth in a state of extreme anxiety, Thornton kept checking his ears to make sure his spare hearing aids weren't in.
    Roseberry was walking the corridors… being Roseberry!
    Cod raced around the roof with all the gargoyles, unable to settle.
    Stokesley hadn’t reappeared as yet, after an altogether too close encounter with said vacuum.
    And, Horatio Fleming McNaughtie, the border terror - sorry, border terrier, was shut in the kitchen in an attempt to keep him away from the noise and danger. However, Horatio Fleming McNaughtie had never and would never be kept silent and out of the way by a stupid, little, solid, wooden door! Although the Baron couldn't hear it above the screaming rage of the vacuum cleaner, the Manor had started to reverberate to a new noise, a relentless thudding, biting and clawing from the kitchen.
    =
    As Eller fell into the blackness of the well, it engulfed her and, for a moment, she felt only vaguely aware of the screaming. Then, a blinding light, and a shriek so loud that it seemed to explode in her skull. As her eyes cleared, they revealed the back door of the Manor, wide open and filled with darkness, looking like the open mouth of some kind of monster.
    Of course, she shouldn't have been surprised. Every time she strayed beyond the limits, she always found herself returning through the back door of the Manor. She should have seen it coming, as falling down the well was technically going beyond the boundary of Snott. But, in the stress of the moment, she hadn't thought carefully enough. The end result was that she was now in even greater danger. (P) Before she’d even realised what had happened, she felt the powerful tendrils of darkness wrapping around her, determined to drag her deeper into the Manor and towards the hideous, screaming darkness.
    Grasping and grabbing at anything and everything she could, her hands and arms passed through them all. All that is, except for a small, carved, wooden dog that she almost didn’t bother holding on to as it seemed so small and worthless. But she was pleased she did for, as she passed through the closed kitchen door, her hand holding the carved, wooden dog wouldn't go through the door. For a moment she hung in mid-air, held safely by the wooded dog that couldn't go any further.
    Having passed rapidly through the kitchen, Eller hadn't noticed Horatio. So, when he suddenly attacked the door, she panicked. Splinters of wood flew through the air, and the hinges were almost shaken loose. The shock of Horatio smashing into the kitchen door caused Eller to involuntarily let go of the wooden dog, and she found herself being pulled deeper into the Manor. The dark tendrils wrapped even tighter around Eller, throwing her around like a rag doll, accelerating her towards the ancient, evil vacuum cleaner.
    Passing along corridors and through doors, Eller moved rapidly. In no time at all, she entered a sitting room inside which she saw the Baron, hot and sweaty and doing everything in his power to avoid the monstrous machine. For a split second, Eller felt sorry for him, but then the loathing kicked back in, and she felt pleased to see him suffering for the terror he was inflicting on her.
    The vacuum didn't hesitate. Immediately, a profusion of darkness and shrieking reached out of the machine, engulfed her and dragged her inside.
    (PAUSE) Silence.
    =
    Inexplicably, for a moment, the old vacuum cleaner stopped jumping and twisting around. So, taking his life in his hands, with a desperate lunge, the Ba

    • 14 min
    Episode 24 - The Trap Is Sprung

    Episode 24 - The Trap Is Sprung

    Music: Majestic Nature by Craig Stuart Garfinkle

    Artwork by Steve English

    The script:
    Episode 24 - The Trap is Sprung
    Inside the Manor, little eddies of dust and not so little eddies of dust appeared and disappeared, each time becoming a little smaller than before. Shadows came out of hiding, skittish at the sudden appearance of eddies and unwilling to attach themselves to anything for more than a moment.
    Unconsciously pushing his hair away from his face, the Baron sat in the kitchen, his hair whipped about by an unseen draft. Around the table with him sat Roseberry and Thornton, still looking a little flustered by all that was going on. Horatio lay in the doorway to the boot room. Facing the monstrous, old vacuum cleaner, he tried (and failed) to look as if he was ignoring it. His 'tell' was the way his eyes kept darting back to the machine even as he cleaned his paws.
    'But Roseberry,' the Baron was saying, 'I thought we were all agreed on this plan? Things are going missing and, if that was all that was happening, then maybe I’d 'let it go' as you ask. However, it’s getting worse all the time. Only this morning Horatio very nearly lost the end of his nose as a knife fell from the top of my bedroom door! This can't carry on, so we must stick with the plan.'
    Roseberry said nothing, her face inscrutable since the vacuum cleaner had been turned on.
    ‘Think about the water boiler and the stone thing I was playing with as it first came to the boil,' the Baron continued, trying to justify his plan to an obviously unconvinced Roseberry. 'We had an emergency then, with a potential invasion of gargoyles into the Manor. It was the combination of those two things which seemed to solve that issue once and for all. I know it probably means we're stuck with the water boiler, but at least we don't have gargoyles sitting next to us for breakfast.'
    Still no reply from Roseberry.
    'As for me, sir,' Thornton said, interrupting the silence that followed, 'I do believe something should be done. So many things have gone missing that it has to be more than coincidence or error. I know I'm getting old, sir,...' As he said this, he held up his hand to silence any protests, although none were actually coming. '...but even that cannot explain all that's happened.' He paused a moment to look at Horatio before continuing, 'Quite if this is the best way to approach it, I have my doubts, but I’m happy to leave it in your hands.' Then, flashing a quick glance at the vacuum cleaner, he added, 'There is certainly something about that thing that tells me it is capable of doing far more than just sucking up dirt. However, if I may be so bold, sir?' he asked, before continuing without actually waiting for the Baron's permission, 'I wonder if maybe there isn't another way? If maybe we’ve missed something and in so doing are trying to solve the wrong problem in the wrong way.'
    The Baron stared at Thornton in surprise. Thornton was always more than willing to offer his opinion on anything but seldom did he counsel caution! Assuming that this had been nothing more than the terrible noise from the vacuum cleaner that had upset Thornton, the Baron said, 'I know it makes a terrible racket and that was indeed part of the reason why we put it in the attic in the first place. But, hang it all, this really is an emergency! What else can we do? I know as well as the next man that a vacuum cleaner can't suck up ghosts and that's why I brought out the Promise Capsule. When I found that thing,' he said, pointing at the egg-like object in the middle of the kitchen table, 'I couldn’t imagine a time when I would consider using it. But, as the other two objects seem to have made such a difference with Cod and the gargoyles, I thought that, if only part of what it says is true, then perhaps it can change, transform, transmogrify or whatever the word is that wr

    • 25 min
    Episode 23 - A Trap is Set

    Episode 23 - A Trap is Set

    Music: Majestic Nature by Craig Stuart Garfinkle

    Artwork by Steve English

    The script:
    Episode 23 - A Trap is Set
    It would have been a reasonably straightforward process to recover the vacuum cleaner, if it hadn’t been for the weight of the thing. However, after a prolonged period of pushing, shoving, lifting and carefully lowering, the old machine was finally back down in the Manor proper. The Baron was delighted to be able to lift up the steps-cum-stairs contraption and shut the attic door once again.
    He wiped his brow with a disgusting handkerchief taken from one of his many pockets and stood looking at the old vacuum in the light of day. As he inspected the awful machine, he was aware of two other sets of eyes watching him. One was from outside the round window at the end of the landing. The other, high on the wall to one side, was accompanied by chewing noises. Quite how Stokesley moved around the Manor so quickly, the Baron didn't know - and he certainly didn't like it!
    Usually, when you revisit something from your past that frightened you, you realise you just perceived it that way. When it's in front of you once again, the reality isn't as bad as you remembered. That wasn't the case here. For, as he looked at the old machine, the Baron thought, if anything, it looked even more menacing than before. Somehow, it seemed to affect the light around it, making the whole area darker.
    As he stood looking at the vacuum cleaner and recovering his breath, the Baron heard a noise behind him at the large, circular window at the end of the landing. He knew it was Cod so didn't turn at once but, when he did, there was Cod still at centre of the window, but his expression had changed. The look on Cod's face was one of grave concern. Although, to be honest, Cod was a gargoyle and gargoyles were made with fearsome faces – which in Cod's case was a fearsome fish face – so it was hard to know what any expression really meant. The Baron was assuming it was grave concern, but it could have been a laugh for all he knew. As it happened, this time he was right, Cod was worried!
    Stokesley, for his part, was still enjoying the Baron’s pain from earlier – it could be quite dull being a moose head and having to live on the wall.
    =
    Now that the Baron had finished the problematic process of retrieving the old vacuum cleaner all on his own, everyone else turned up!
    'Oh, if you'd have waited a moment Archie, I'd have given you a hand getting that down,' said Roseberry as she wobbled up, first shooting Stokesley a cross look and then inspecting the vacuum cleaner over the top of her glasses.
    'Shall I take it to the kitchen, sir?' asked Thornton as he appeared at the other end of the landing.
    The Baron would have loved to have said 'yes'. The problem was, that there were two flights of stairs to go down, and Thornton was, shall we say, 'past his prime'. So, if he had agreed, the chances of both the vacuum cleaner and Thornton arriving in the kitchen intact were reasonably low. Loudly thanking Thornton for his kind offer, the Baron politely refused and started to drag it down the stairs with Thornton muttering something about 'lack of gratitude' behind him.
    Horatio was strangely absent, bearing in mind all the noise the vacuum had made when being tested. Even when the cleaner finally arrived in the kitchen, Horatio was still nowhere to be seen.
    =
    Despite it taking the Baron quite a while to manoeuvre the beastly machine down to the kitchen, he still managed to arrive before Roseberry and Thornton. During that time, the Baron made sure the replacement bag he’d fitted was firmly attached. Once that was done, he sat down to nurse the numerous little bumps, scratches and other inexplicable wounds he'd managed to acquire while relocating the vacuum cleaner. By the time Roseberry and Thornton did turn up, it was mid-afternoon. In

    • 13 min
    Episode 22 - Another Visit to the Attic

    Episode 22 - Another Visit to the Attic

    Music: Majestic Nature by Craig Stuart Garfinkle

    Artwork by Steve English

    The script:
    Episode 22 - Another Visit to the Attic
    It seemed that, in Manor Rott, Grott and Snott, the places where people didn’t often go were the places where the effects of the enchantment – or curse – or whatever it was – were the strongest.
    Although it wasn’t clear how it happened, when things were left in lonely places such as the attic or cellar, malevolent forces somehow altered them. This was, I suppose, the reason for the rise of the Rampant Salami Empire; the real cause of the problems the Baron attributed to 'the ghost'.
    =
    The Baron couldn’t believe he was going back into the attic after such a short time. It wasn’t long since he’d been up there to fetch the old water boiler and here he was, doing it all over again. As he looked up at the attic hatch, he shuddered.
    The round window at the end of the landing was once again alive with gargoyle activity, as any number of gargoyles took it in turn to look every time the Baron turned away. But, in the midst of all this activity, Cod stayed at the centre of the window, watching. The Baron found himself waving to Cod before he knew what he was doing, and got annoyed with himself. When he next looked back, most of the other gargoyles had moved, but Cod still sat there as before, but with one hand raised.
    Smiling to himself, the Baron turned back to the hatch and nearly jumped out of his skin. A large moose head had appeared on the wall to one side and was watching the Baron with a vague, disinterested expression, while chewing on something invisible to the Baron. Stokesley (as the moose head had become known) was actually quite nosey and seemed to enjoy giving people a shock. After a few choice words to Stokesley about staying in the entrance hall, the Baron took a deep breath and got to work. He didn’t notice the slight grin that appeared on the moose head’s face.
    The over-long attic door was as recalcitrant as last time, squeaking and complaining as the Baron dropped it down. There seemed to be about as much dust and debris as on the previous visit. So, again, he got covered and, like last time, he marvelled at the awe-inspiring steps-cum-stairway contraption as it slowly and gently descended. He was delighted when he flicked the light switch on, and the bulbs spluttered, crackled and tinkled into life, one after the other, as if a little reluctant to shine.
    Once he’d climbed up into the attic, he stood in the cooler air for a moment to steady his nerves. As he’d expected, all the chaos and mess of the turret finding its new home and shaking the attic had been cleared up, leaving corridors with piles of junk on each side.
    As no turrets were relocating this time, there wasn’t as much noise, although the sudden flurries of hooves on slate kept causing him to panic.
    Starting to move between the massive piles of junk towards where he was sure the ancient old vacuum cleaner had been, the Baron was surprised by how few shadows there were. What struck him as even more worrying was that, despite the lack of shadows, the attic somehow still managed to look dark, threatening and menacing. How it managed to do that without the shadows, he didn’t know, although he didn’t like the obvious conclusion; that it was the active presence of darkness.
    Perhaps the greatest scare he got was at the end of a particularly packed aisle. As he turned the corner, a very loud flurry of hooves overhead momentarily distracted him. When he looked back, he jumped and almost hit his head on the roof at the shock of finding himself confronted with a giant, chewing moose head staring directly into his eyes.
    The roof was slanted down at this point. So, when Stokesley decided to come and take a look, he was a lot lower than normal. In fact, he was so low that he ended up staring straight into the Baron

    • 15 min
    Episode 21 - The Meeting

    Episode 21 - The Meeting

    Music: Majestic Nature by Craig Stuart Garfinkle

    Artwork by Steve English

    The script:

    Episode 21 – The Meeting

    The Baron called a meeting, asking everyone to come to the kitchen to see if they could get to the bottom of the problems they were facing and find a solution. Obviously, Eller wasn't invited because no-one knew she existed. That didn't stop her attending of course - as did Stokesley, who most definitely wasn’t invited, but just turned up on the kitchen wall, looking sullen. And pretty much every shadow in the whole Manor came and occupied places all over the walls, ceiling and floor. Everywhere that is except around Stokesley’s shadow which was rather particular about these things and seemed to nip and butt other shadows which came too close.

    The meeting started rather slowly as Thornton had forgotten his spare hearing aids. Then, when he finally arrived back having retrieved them from his room, they discovered the batteries were flat. Mercifully, Roseberry had some spares in a drawer; they took some digging out, but it saved a lot of time compared to waiting for Thornton to go back to his room again to find some.

    When at last they'd got Thornton sorted, the conversation began in earnest - although it still needed to happen at a reasonably high decibel level for Thornton's sake! He had purchased the new hearing aids (which had disappeared) because he needed them and the relative lack of power of the old ones made for lots of repetition.

    'I have called this meeting,' the Baron began in his somewhat nasally voice, 'to discuss what I am sure you will all agree, is a series of malicious incidents happening all across the Manor.'

    'What's that you say?' asked Thornton. ‘Something about hamsters being cross at the Manor? I didn't know we had a hamster problem too! When did that happen?'

    The Baron, Roseberry and Eller all rolled their eyes – this was going to be a long meeting.

    'WE DON'T HAVE A HAMSTER PROBLEM THORNTON,' the Baron replied. 'SORRY FOR NOT BEING CLEARER. I WILL TRY NOT TO MUMBLE SO MUCH.' Then, as loudly as he could manage, the Baron continued, 'We all agree that serious things are happening in the Manor.'

    Nodding sagely, Thornton started to speak before the Baron could continue. 'Did you know someone stole my hearing aids?' he asked, even more loudly than the Baron.

    Of course they knew but, as they'd all learnt many years before, when Thornton started, there was no use interrupting him until he'd said his piece. Thankfully, once he'd said it and got the appropriate sympathetic nods and expressions, he tended to just sit for the rest of the conversation with an inscrutable look on his face. He was probably in a world of his own and not paying any attention, but no one really wanted to check.

    'We know, dear,’ Roseberry shouted, patting Thornton's hand as he finished. 'It's a terrible state of affairs.' Then looking from Thornton to the Baron she asked, 'But who's behind it all? That's what we need to find out.' At this, the shadows shifted uncomfortably, causing Stokesley’s shadow to nip one of two, to keep them in their place.

    'Surely, if anyone knows what's going on, it's you guys,' Eller said to the shadows, knowing she wouldn't get a response. But the fact that the shadows cared about what the others knew made her feel strangely on edge.

    It was what the Baron said next that stunned her, that and the reaction of everyone present (except of course for Stokesley who continued to chew invisible grass and Horatio who was far more interested in licking his paws than paying any attention to the conversation).

    'It seems that the Manor's resident ghost who, as we all know, has the full-moon badge LOST, has, for reasons we cannot understand, decided to stop being our friend. Instead, it seems LOST has started to cause mischief, which is getting out of hand and verging on dangerous. Quit

    • 19 min

Customer Reviews

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1 Rating

Crack Puffin ,

Very Enjoyable

I've listened to the first 4 episodes of this show with my children and they really enjoy the short episodes and the story.

It seems really good fun and whole hearted - well worth a listen.

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