How to cope with - or help - a partner who hoards, with Laura Silverstein, Certified Gottman Couples Therapist That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-140-how-to-cope-with-or-help-a-partner-who-hoards-with-laura-silverstein-certified-gottman-couples-therapist/ 
This week, I’m with Laura Silverstein, a Certified Gottman Couples Therapist, who is a genius on how couples can improve their communication and the way they take each other’s needs into account. So we explore the complexities of living with a hoarding partner and the impact it has on relationships.
Laura provides anecdotes and advice on setting healthy boundaries, initiating difficult conversations, and the role of a therapist in couples therapy. We also discuss the value of authentic communication, empathy, and the idea that love requires continuous effort.
We look at the difficulties non-hoarding partners face in understanding their hoarding significant other, the impact of unresolved conflicts, and the evolving perception of quirks in a relationship. The conversation highlights the importance of open and honest communication, emphasising the need for both partners to be involved in decluttering decisions.
Join us as we talk about coping with – and helping – a hoarding partner in a relationship.
Living with a Hoarding Partner
Challenges for the non-hoarding partner
Understanding hoarding behaviour
Impact of conflict in relationships
Approaching hoarding issues as a couple
Communication and Decision Making
Importance of open and honest communication
Involving the hoarding partner in decluttering decisions
Examples of different approaches to decluttering
Setting Boundaries and Deal Breakers
Clear communication and healthy boundary setting
Communicating core needs with a partner
A therapist's role in helping couples set boundaries
Couples Therapy and Relationship Dynamics
Role of a Therapist in Couples Therapy
Encouraging honest and respectful communication
The goal of therapy in relationships
Valuing the time spent in a relationship
Initiating and Navigating Difficult Conversations
Approaching conversations in a positive and constructive way
The "I like, I wish, I wonder" framework for expressing emotions and requests
The importance of clear communication and avoiding misunderstandings
Building and Sustaining Relationships
Acknowledging each partner's needs
Significance of authenticity, empathy, and mutual understanding
Challenging topic of hoarding and relationship conflict.
Understanding and accepting challenges of hoarding disorder.
Improving communication, appreciating efforts, and showing love.
Authenticity in relationships and understanding partner's pain.
Respect partner's wisdom, avoid secrets and betrayal.
Honesty and understanding create helpful solutions.
Fear of hurtful conversations hinders creative solutions.
Setting boundaries is important for relationships.
Progress is non-linear
Seeking respectful closure through difficult conversations is success.
Leaving with integrity and seeking support.
It's important to normalise conflict and focus on repairing relationships through understanding, communication, and meeting each other's needs.
Importance of embracing differences in love and relationships.
Advocate for needs
Common conflict communication pattern is attack-defend.
Skilled communication improves relationships.
Acknowledging past communication issues, understanding partner's challenges, emphasising authenticity and love in communication.
Authentic empathy and communication are key in addressing relationship struggles and finding mutual understanding and support.
Focus on trust and communication in relationships to address hoarding issues.
Discussing how to handle hoarding sensitively and considering different scenarios before making decisions.
Honest communication and creativity in relationships.
Fear of difficu