How To Hold A Grudge Sophie Hannah

Sophie is joined by psychotherapist and fellow Agatha Christie superfan Helen Acton to discuss grudges — valid/reasonable and invalid/unreasonable — in the novels of Agatha Christie, the Queen of Crime. Also in this episode: the beauty of three-layered puzzle solutions, the Insufficient Poirot Content grudge some fans have about novels like Cat Among the Pigeons and After the Funeral, and Sophie reveals her grudge-related theory about why Murder on the Orient Express and And Then There Were None are Agatha's two most popular and beloved books.

Sophie is joined by award-winning, bestselling novelist Naomi Alderman for this special bonus episode. They discuss the popular misconceptions that give rise to that widespread phenomemon, the Misunderstanding-of-Loyalty Grudge, and what loyalty truly means in a grudge-holding context. Also in this episode: when couples separate and friends pick a grudge side, why it's always grudgeworthy to write insulting blog posts about your best friends, and a grudgey dilemma involving a potentially devastating but brilliant cultural artefact.

Being judgemental is bad, we tend to think, but using our judgement is essential. So how do we distinguish between good judging and bad judging? Having a lower opinion of some people than others has to be okay, surely, even if one's aim and wish is to be all-forgiving and grudge-free. Sophie and Helen Acton discuss the ways in which our own ethics and opinions in relation to infidelity and meat-eating, among other things, can influence how lenient/empathetic we're able to be where those issues are involved.

There's always room for a newcomer — a new grudge type — in the Periodic Table of Grudge Categories. After a new TV crime drama attracts hundreds of comments that strike fear into Sophie's heart, she tries to find a name for this emerging grudge in order to classify it accurately. Also in this episode, Sophie plays a newly invented grudge game, Judge That Grudge, with poet Nic Aubury and psychotherapist Helen Acton. Grudge types receiving judgemental scrutiny include: people turning up on time instead of realising you'd love it if they were a bit late, and passive aggressive CC-ing of senior colleagues into work emails.

We all know messengers sometimes get shot. When is telling — passing on an unwelcome or upsetting message — grudgeworthy, and when is it worse to withhold or hide information in order to spare someone's feelings? If you know that a close friend's partner is cheating on them, should you tell them? Sophie and psychotherapist Helen Acton debate the moral ramifications of being the messenger, and discuss whether Sophie was right or wrong to say nothing about a vicious and vitriolic email she recently received from the angry mother of a teenage girl...

Sophie and Podcast Grudge-Poet Laureate Nic Aubury discuss those grudges that we might not need to hold if only we were better at creating and sticking to personal boundaries. If we're so busy people-pleasing that we allow ourselves to do things we hate in order to placate others, isn't that our fault rather than theirs? Also in this episode: what does American life coach Brooke Castillo have to say about boundaries and the 'manuals' we have in our minds for how other people should behave, and do Sophie and Nic agree with her?