If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me Daniel

Welcome to Boca del Infierno, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week, for the final time, we come to terms with the end of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in the series finale, “Chosen.”
In this episode (broken into two parts), we look into the abyss and it looks back, only brighter:
* Plot and Firsts + Trivia (2:30)
* No Nookie From Cookie Buffy — Initial Thoughts (17:50)
* Breaking the Finale (25:00)
* “A Beautiful Feminist Message” (28:50)
* The Anya of It All (32:00)
* The End of Spuffy (43:15)
* Stacia’s Sidebar: What is the most important shot of the show? (46:25)
* I Love You / No You Don’t (51:00)
* Okay, Wait, What About This Second Front?! (57:40)
* How Do We Feel About Spike? (1:01:50)
* What, Exactly, Was the Plan?! Any Potential(s)? (1:07:50)
* We’re A Real Podcast (1:16:00)
* Reasonable or Ridiculous?! (1:18:00)
* Yelling (1:21:45)
* Watches (1:41:00)
* Rankings (1:53:45)
That’s a wrap on Beep Me Pod! If you want a series synopsis and final rankings, stick around for more!
* Season 7 — Highs and Lows (2:03)
* Power: Did Season 7 Deliver on the Theme? (2:12)
* Did the First Ever Feel Like the Biggest Bad? (2:18:30)
* Does Season 7 make more sense after Season 6? (2:21:00)
* Top/Bottom 10 of series (2:26:15)
* Biggest Regrets (2:43:00)
* Ranking the Season Finales (2:49:00)
* Ranking the Seasons (2:52:40)
* Kelly’s Category Roundup (2:59:30)
* Favorite Recurring Character (3:10:00)
* Favorite Villain — Big and/or Little (3:11:45)
* If the comics didn’t exist, is the story complete? (3:16:10)
* Are there any nagging plotholes/lore/etc. (3:18:40)
* Best and Worst Moments Carousel (3:26:00)
* The End (3:38:00)
/ Full show notes at our website
/ @beepmepod on Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr
/ Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 7
/ Next episode: This isn't about demons at all, is it? It's about women. It's about power and it's about women and you just hate those two words in the same sentence, don't you?


This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beepmepod.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to Brekenkrieg Grimoire, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we act like lame, moronic humans who never quit and keep podcasting as we talk about the penultimate episode of Buffy: “End of Days.”
In this episode, we stuff our faces with Jaffa Cakes and try not to talk as it only onl ends the podcast faster:
* Angel Update (3:30)
* Plot and Firsts and Trivia (6:00)
* Initial Thoughts (19:00)
* The Guardian — Why? What is Buffy’s “powerful weapon” and why is it friendship? An end instead of the end (23:30)
* Why is the First like this? What’s going on? (35:00)
* Spike + Do Buffy and Angel hook up whenever they see each other?(40:25)
* Buffy sending Xander and Dawn away (47:00)
* Reasonable or Ridiculous — Buffy the Exiled Slayer knew where to find the Potentials post-explosion? They called the scythe a scythe instead of an axe? We kicked Buffy out but now she’s back no prob? (51:20)
* Yelling (57:45)
* Watches (1:12:00)
* Rankings (1:17:50)
/ Full show notes at our website
/ @beepmepod on Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr
/ Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 7
/ Next episode: Looks like the Hellmouth is officially closed for business.


This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beepmepod.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to Illuminata, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we reach for Season 7, Episode 20: “Touched.”
In this episode, we touch on:
* Plot and Firsts (2:30)
* Initial Thoughts (9:30)
* How Are Buffy and Faith’s Plans Different? (18:30)
* Being A Hostage at Fort Buffy (23:15)
* Is Buffy As Dangerous As Mayor Wilkins Says? (33:00)
* Has Buffy Been Separating Herself from the Potentials, aka Distant Buffy S**t (35:45)
* Buffy As Neo, or Evil Neo (41:10)
* New Season 7 Pitches (43:20)
* You Sad, Sad Ungrateful Traitors — Is Spike Right? — Does Giles Have Nothing Left to Offer? — And What of Spike? — And What About Giles? (47:45)
* Reasonable or Ridiculous? — First, via Caleb, dug up scythe despite knowing they can’t have it? Giles kills Bringer as its giving information? Giles uses the word “dumb” instead of “mute”? Spike can smell where Buffy went? (1:01:00)
* Yelling (1:09:00)
* Watches (1:44:45)
* Rankings (1:54:30)
/ Full show notes at our website
/ @beepmepod on Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr
/ Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 7
/ Next episode: We'll go be heroes.


This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beepmepod.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to Uranium 235, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we hop aboard the USS Buffy Summers on her final voyage for the frustrating “Empty Places.”
In this episode, we’re luckier than you to talk about:
* Breaking News (3:15)
* Plot and Firsts (7:20)
* Initial Thoughts (13:30)
* A Modest Critique of Buffy’s Options (19:00) —
* Pacing of the season + losing our friends (22:00)
* Mutiny Aboard the SS Buffy Summers (29:30)
* “You’re not better than us.” Is she? (35:15)
* Potentials on our last nerve (40:00)
* Spike and better storylines (41:40)
* Faith, Fun and Leadership (44:45)
* Why does the strongest fighter have to be leader? (48:00)
* Bronze Dates & Buffy can’t let Faith get better (52:45)
* Reasonable or Ridiculous (56:30) — Trading half-eaten bag of chips for carton of cigarettes and some soap? Sunnydale High School has been cancelled? Dawn (and Stacia) hating on Nerfherder?
* Yelling (1:04:30)
* Watches (1:20:15)
* Rankings (1:30:00)
/ Full show notes at our website
/ @beepmepod on Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr
/ Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 7
/ Next episode: I lay one hand on you and you're just a dead little girl.


This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beepmepod.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to Magic for Beginners, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we come to work part-time only to be fired again alongside “Dirty Girls.”
In this episode, we sermonize on:
* Plot and Firsts (3:00)
* Initial Thoughts (14:45)
* Running into danger / burden of leadership (18:30)
* Did Buffy understand the stakes? / Does Giles? (26:00)
* Caleb is a strong boi, or, why is the First the worst? / also, rewriting Caleb is fun (31:45)
* A roundabout way to talk about Faith (40:30)
* Xander — he’s the heart. listen. he’s the heart. he’s the mom. andrew’s the stepmom. this is science. (47:45)
* Xander paying with his eyes instead of his life — the most important moment in all of television history (53:45)
* Reasonable or Ridiculous? — No one bothered to tell Faith the Potentials were being hunted? Sunnydale is NOW OF ALL TIMES leaving town in droves? Dawn to dislike Faith despite never meeting her before (MONK ASIDE!)? (1:08:00)
* Yelling (1:17:00)
* Watches (1:36:30)
* Rankings (1:44:00)
/ Full show notes at our website
/ @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr
/ Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 7
/ Next episode: Buffy, I love you, but you were right. We have to be together on this. You can't be a part of it. So I need you to leave. I'm sorry, but this is my house, too.


This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beepmepod.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to Delothrian’s Arrow, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we go boring, old, and English with “Lies My Parents Told Me”
In this episode, we cover the following in a Slayer/Watcher, Spike/Mother dynamic:
* Plot and Firsts — with an Angel update (2:40)
* Initial Thoughts (22:30)
* Slayers Havin’ Babies (31:20)
* The Nikki Power Hour: Does Spike Have a Point? Slayers As “Chosen”? Does Nikki Love Robin? What Does the Council and Giles Know? (37:00)
* Our Favorite Question: Is it Time to Kill Spike?! A Final Look At the Dead in the Basement at the Beginning of the Season and Buffy’s Moral Code (47:45)
* On Giles: His Confession, His Role in the Show, “Helpless,” Do Giles and Buffy Come Back From This? (58:15)
* Reasonable or Ridiculous: Willow f***s off to LA without a word of explanation? Willow doesn’t tell Buffy that Angel needs his soul restored? Giles believes the Sunnydale school board cares about his opinions? Spike turns his Mom into a vampire and wants to take her on adventures? (1:10:00)
* Yelling (1:16:00)
* Watches (1:34:30)
* Rankings (1:41:00)
* Final Thought on the Firsts (1:48:00)
/ Full show notes at our website
/ @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr
/ Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 7
/ Next episode: Yeah? Maybe you haven't heard. I've reformed


This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beepmepod.substack.com/subscribe