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Dalila Jusic-LaBerge, LMFT is the owner of Be Here & Now Counseling and specializes in working with accomplished women yearning for a loving romantic relationship following a divorce so that they can heal and develop deeper emotional connections with the people they love.
Dalila shares her wisdom about the numerous issues that arise during a divorce. Divorce is one of the most difficult transitions in a human life. It's rated as number 2 stressor just after the death of a spouse. This separation brings up old issues that you may have, such as abandonment, low self-esteem, feeling inadequate, etc.
If you analyze it, it's understandable why it's so difficult. There are so many complex issues that reemerge at this time. Our relationship with a romantic partner is a reflection of all the stuff we went through when we were children with our parents. As mammals, we are naturally created to attach. When this is broken, it's naturally very upsetting. Getting married, going through life, focusing on career, or raising children makes us feel things are patched up. They may be to an extent. Losing this connection with your partner, can trigger some old wounds and bring up old issues that we are struggling with.
Some of the issues that emerge:
+Loss of status, identity, and family and societal roles
+Loss of financial stability
+Questions about life purpose and meaning
Therapy can be very helpful. At the beginning of divorce recovery therapy process, if you are freshly divorced or going through the divorce, the goal is to help you stabilize and continue with daily activities. Therapy can help you manage difficult feelings and learn to cope with the future struggles that life may bring. At this time in therapy, the abovementioned symptoms will be addressed in order to help you manage your life easier. In addition, a big part of therapy work is addressing this trauma that causes you to make wrong choices in partners, avoid taking care of yourself, that causes you to feel inadequate, etc. In addition to this, I’m a big proponent of helping my clients find this meaning in life by figuring out who they are, what they want from life, and what the next steps in life are. What matters is to find a therapist that’s a good match for you in terms of personality, what your specific issues are, and in terms of the way in which they work.
Dalila suggests making sure that, as we navigate life after divorce:
+We don't do it alone
+Focus on self-care
+Re-examine what you want in your life
+Remember that happiness is a skill and will require some practice
I would love to hear your experiences getting yourself back on track after a divorce so that you can better celebrate your life! Be sure to share with us in our social media communities listed below so we can celebrate with you!