100 episodes

Dating coach, Marni Battista, is the queen of making her clients irresistible to men and not just any men, high quality men. Marni is a certified professional Dating and Relationship Coach and Expert, writer, and nationally recognized print and online magazine expert (Cosmopolitan Magazine, Yahoo! Shine, Huffington Post, YourTango.com, CupidsPulse.com, Men’s Fitness, Glamour and more). She has also had guest appearances on CBS, ABC, and Loveline (filling in for Dr. Drew!) Marni’s weekly dating and relationship web show, “The Dating Den,” has over 2.6 million views, and she was named one of the 10 Best Women’s Dating Experts by @DatingAdviceCom.​

Life Check Yourself Marni Battista

    • Society & Culture
    • 4.3 • 12 Ratings

Dating coach, Marni Battista, is the queen of making her clients irresistible to men and not just any men, high quality men. Marni is a certified professional Dating and Relationship Coach and Expert, writer, and nationally recognized print and online magazine expert (Cosmopolitan Magazine, Yahoo! Shine, Huffington Post, YourTango.com, CupidsPulse.com, Men’s Fitness, Glamour and more). She has also had guest appearances on CBS, ABC, and Loveline (filling in for Dr. Drew!) Marni’s weekly dating and relationship web show, “The Dating Den,” has over 2.6 million views, and she was named one of the 10 Best Women’s Dating Experts by @DatingAdviceCom.​

    Understanding Your Attachment Styles So You Stop Missing Out on Opportunities with the Great Guys With Tracy Crossley

    Understanding Your Attachment Styles So You Stop Missing Out on Opportunities with the Great Guys With Tracy Crossley

    Marni welcomes behavioral relationship expert Tracy Crossley into the Life Check Yourself studio. Tracy is an author and podcast host who helps people with unhealthy life and relationship patterns. transform parts of their character such as imposter syndrome, insecure attachment styles, negative belief systems, destructive self-talk, and more. She has a background in psychology and an innate emotional intuition. 
     
    Key takeaways from this episode: 
    How to find your authentic self Feel your feelings Be curious instead of bolting Drop the imposter and be your authentic self  
    Understanding Attachment Styles [2:03] Many people know of their attachment style but few know how to use the information to enrich their lives and move from an insecure attachment style to a healthy one. Tracy explains that when she first read the book Attached she didn't think it applied to her even though she identified as an anxious-avoidant. After thinking about it, she decided she didn't want to live in a dysfunctional space. 
    She says,  our original attachment style comes from how we received love when we were children. We incorporate our early feelings of what we think love is into our adult relationship dynamics. Each attachment style plays out differently, but it always comes down to a self-worth issue. 
    The avoidant attachment style is fear of being rejected and abandonment. Those with this type of attachment style either stay away from relationships or are emotionally unavailable in the relationships they get in. Sometimes, they are looking for the perfect partner who doesn't exist. 
     
    Feeling Our Feelings [8:15]
    Tracy says emotional reactions come from a story we react to. To heal, we need to uncover the motivating feeling at the base of our reactions. 
    We tend to victimize ourselves in the stories we tell ourselves. To get to our deeper feelings, we need to question what is the true reality and then take responsibility for the choices we actively made. 
    Our bodies hold our emotions. Emotions are not just thoughts. When we feel overwhelmed, Tracy recommends riding the wave of the feeling until it goes away. You will be less anxious and more in control of yourself. If a childhood feeling keeps coming back. 
    We get caught up in our stories. But if we are courageous and go deep down to find the truth we can find freedom from our false identity. 
    The 90-second tool for Life Check Yourself listeners:
     If you go on a date with someone you are not sure about and feel the urge to bolt because something about the person irks you. The urge to bolt is coming from a place of fear. Drop into your feelings and stay for 90-seconds more. Use this technique for any situation you want to bolt from. Be quiet, be curious, and listen. 
    The more self-awareness we have the better our decisions are and the more we learn to trust ourselves. 
     
    Step Out of Imposter Syndrome and into Your Authentic Self [30:10]
    In our early stages of development, we lack self-awareness. We are constantly deciding who we need to be to get what we want from others. We decide what kind of characteristics we can adopt to get attention, validation, and love. When we enter a relationship, and people try to get to know the real us we fear they will try to see the real us. Then we feel ashamed about being an imposter. It’s a vicious cycle. 
    Make life a journey of curiosity instead of being judgmental. Take your time to discover your authentic self.
     
    Make a Connection:
    Visit Our Website
    Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!
    Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!
    Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP
    Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show
    Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates
    Register for the upcoming Ignite Your Life 3-Day Seminar! 
    Overcoming Insecure A

    • 41 min
    Do Not Do This! Top 2 Attraction Killers Explained: With Chris Gillis

    Do Not Do This! Top 2 Attraction Killers Explained: With Chris Gillis

    Marni and Chris Gillis dissect the dating games on this week’s physical-chemistry-laden episode of the Bachelor. The man-mountain who is Clayton, seems unable to lean into his feelings. Is he Matt James #2? Cassidy teaches us that sexual aggression is unattractive and that a friends with benefits scenario offers little space to date with dignity. And, Elizabeth can’t wait to spit her ADHD on people. 
     
    Key takeaways from this episode: 
    How to be vulnerable when sharing a medical condition Forcing yourself on someone physically will only get a physical reaction First dates are not job interviews Friends with benefits has no place in dating  
    I Want Your Sex [2:58]  There is one contestant who makes Marni cringe. It’s Cassidy. Cassidy is over-aggressive and actively tries to make out with Clayton every second they are together. She is obviously going for the sexual connection but her vulnerability feels fake. She says I like you and she attempts to mount him. She crosses a line that is not attractive. 
    Clayton’s technique needs a little work. Is he a quality guy? Marni says he might have Matt James syndrome. When a contestant opens up to him and shares about her family. He speaks from his head and not his heart. He doesn't share and wasn't vulnerable. Chris says his response felt like a job interview. 
    When dating someone new, listen to them with an open heart. It’s not a job interview.
     
    Victimy or Vulnerability [10:38]
    Shenae calls Elizabeth out and asks her why she didn’t respond to a question or comment she made. Instead of calmly explaining that she has ADHD, Elizabeth snaps back that she processes information differently.  She uses it as an excuse for her behavior instead of vulnerable sharing. 
    Don’t overshare your medical history, especially on a first date. It’s not being vulnerable. It’s a canned story you are using to elicit a common response. Be discerning about what you share and when you share it. You don't need to put everything out there on the first date. 
    Taking ownership and responsibility for a miscommunication is sexy.
     
    Friends with Benefits [25:21]
    In the episode, Cassidy offers up the unsolicited information that she has a guy she hooks up with at home. It begs the question, can you bang your friend with benefits and also date with dignity? 
    Marni says for women it may be a little harder. She tries to discourage clients from having an FWB on the side because it causes women to compartmentalize their feelings. It requires rigorous honesty. and it's difficult. Chris says it is easier for men to compartmentalize it and not let it bleed over into their dating life. 
    Cassidy just needs too much attention and she asks for it in an unattractive way. 
     
    Make a Connection:
    Visit Our Website
    Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!
    Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!
    Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP
    Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show
    Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates
    Register for the upcoming Ignite Your Life 3-Day Seminar! 

    • 38 min
    Why Some Women Attract Better Men Online with Less Effort With Mike Goldstein

    Why Some Women Attract Better Men Online with Less Effort With Mike Goldstein

    Marni welcomes the Founder of EZ Dating Coach and matchmaker extraordinaire, Mike Goldstein to the Life Check Yourself studio. Mike is a frequent guest on this show and he has been featured on the Today show and in Readers Digest. 83% of  Mike’s clients enter relationships! This is the highest success rate in the country. He uses data from the top dating sites to set his clients up for dating success.
     
    Key takeaways from this episode: 
    The best time to start dating online The importance of being vulnerable How you may be sabotaging yourself Trust the process Myths women have about online dating  
    Dispelling Common Online Dating Myths [2:56] Mike reveals that the Sunday after the New Year is the best time to meet someone because people vow to find their love, online or at the gym. Marni points out that it means the online dating sites should be full of new prospects.  With 57% of online daters are looking for serious relationships with a higher percentage of men saying so, it dispels the myth that men are not looking for commitment. 
    Marni asks Mike what gets in the way of ladies finding a quality guy online. He says there are two major obstacles women must overcome. 
    Women believe there are no good guys online and it's a waste of their time. Online dating is too much work and they are already busy.  Yet, the data shows one out of three marriages come from online dating. It doesn't need to be a full-time job. Mike’s process requires just 30 minutes, three times a week plus one date a week. 
    Often, when dating, a woman is trying to be perfect. In reality, Mike says men are craving access to a woman. They want to see who a woman truly is. Women have a hard time being vulnerable and guys will start looking elsewhere because they don't feel they have access to you emotionally. Mike’s advice, describe a time you overcame one of your limiting beliefs and how you worked through it. It allows the guy to know you better.
    No matter what your dating history is, you need to let your guard down. 
    Looking for Perfection? Stop. No One Is Perfect [12:35]
    Marni describes several of her clients tend to rule guys out before giving them a chance. Instead of being curious about a guy they sabotage themselves by being nit-picky about a physical attribute or a comment. 
    Mike's strategy is simple —  Consider how the person you are dating makes you feel. On a date and in between dates? If the answer is you feel good then continue to date the person. If the person doesn’t make you feel good, move on. 
    Be curious when dating rather than automatically ruling a guy out. Don't be stuck in the story that nothing works for you. 
     
    There is No Shame in Online Dating [21:48]
    Mike shares that he has been rejected hundreds if not thousands of times when he offers dating advice. But he wants to help people fall in love and lower the divorce rate. So he keeps at it. He doesn’t take rejection personally and neither should you.  
    There is no shame in online dating. It’s a numbers game.
    Do you want to fall in love? What is your goal? If you want to fall in love, do the work. Trust in the process and truly believe the universe wants you to be partnered. There is no one person that doesn't deserve love. If you get rid of the shame and use a strategy, be courageous, and commit to it you will be a success story. It's just putting the right things together into one focused effort to get a result.
     
    Make a Connection:
    Visit Our Website
    Join Our Life Check Yourself Facebook Community Here!
    Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!
    Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP
    Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show
    Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates
    How To Get a Great Guy in 60 Days FREE GIFT  

    • 36 min
    Masculine Energy and the Valentine's Day Gift Dilemma Solved: With Chris Gillis

    Masculine Energy and the Valentine's Day Gift Dilemma Solved: With Chris Gillis

    Marni and Chris Gillis work tirelessly to extract every morsel of dating advice from the beginning of season 26 of The Bachelor. Sweet, former NFLer and alpha-male Clayton Echard was given a cool $100k to have 31 women test his dating mettle and claim their hearts. Let’s see who stood out and who went home. 
     
    Key takeaways from this episode: 
    Rules on Valentine’s Day gift giving Dropping into you feminine energy Are you ready for a serious relationship? What to do if a guy keeps mentioning his ex  
    Salley Makes a Quick Exit [4:28] Salley, the blonde with the Love Island hair extensions, showed up for the opening show. But she did so only to tell Clayton she was supposed to get married the same weekend. Her quick exit came after telling Clayton she just wanted to meet him but she hadn’t yet fully recovered from her breakup with her ex-fiance. 
    It begs the question, how do you know when you should start dating again after a breakup? 
    If you are still pining for your ex, you are not ready to be in a serious relationship. If you continue to be triggered by songs, memories, or anything else you and your ex did together, you are not ready. On the flip side, if you are on a date and a guy starts talking about his ex. Give him time to express himself and be curious. If he continues to do it on multiple dates, play the empathy card. If he realizes what he has been doing and stops all is well. If he doesn’t stop, he is not ready to be dating yet. Tell him you are not a therapist and move on.  
    Marni and Chris think Clayton may be insecure and he likely will fall for anyone who likes him. He kissed five women on the first night. They also think Salley will make a comeback later in the season. 
     
    Exuding Masculine Energy [15:17]
    Marni notes that there are a lot of successful, professional women competing this season. It will be interesting to see if they are able to drop into their feminine energy during the dating process.
    Claire Heilig is an example of a woman who wasn’t able to get there. She and Clayton go on a fake tailgating-esque date. She couldn’t disguise her male vibe when they played cornhole. When Clayton got flirty about almost winning, Claire’s testosterone shot up and she reminded him sternly that she, in fact, won the match. 
    A guy doesn't want to kiss a dude in a dress. Are you being too competitive? Do you need to win? 
    Chris says, she revealed more about how she feels about herself and her need to win. 
     
    Too Much Too Soon, Gift Giving [26:13]
    Showing up with flowers on a first date is a tradition for some people, but showing up with a 100-year-old family photo is a bit much. Elizabeth offers the only copy of a family keepsake photo to Clayton right out of the gate. 
    Marni points out that women tend to overgive. As a general rule, don't bring a gift to your first date. 
    For Valentine's Day,  if a guy you are dating hasn't asked you out by Feb. 7th, you can ask what is going on. Or, tell him how much you love celebrating the date. It doesn't have to be awkward. Just have an open-ended conversation. It isn’t always easy to put yourself out there. Vulnerability is necessary for communication. 
    A gift doesn't have to be tangible. It can be a simple compliment. 
     
    Make a Connection:
    Visit Our Website
    Join Our Life Check Yourself Facebook Community Here!
    Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!
    Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP
    Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show
    Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

    • 37 min
    How to Heal Your Relationship with Money With Yael Trusch

    How to Heal Your Relationship with Money With Yael Trusch

    Marni welcomes the host of the Jewish Money Matters podcast, Yael Trusch into the Life Check Yourself studio. They discuss how-to unravel money stories, the spirit-money connection, and how women can begin designing the financial life they want for themselves and their children. Yael’s Signature program, G-d Wants You to Be Rich, has transformed the financial lives of countless Jewish women and couples all over the globe.
     
    Key takeaways from this episode: 
    The spirit-money connection Getting clear about your financial why Overcoming limiting beliefs around money Parenting tips for creating financially responsible adults  
    Being of Service to Others Should Be the Foundation of Our Financial Why  [3:10]  Why does money matter to women? Yael says, money matters to women because it is the way we create an impact in the world. We, as humans, regardless of our family, creed, or race were put here to serve the world and make it a better place. Money is one of the resources we are given to make a lasting imprint in this world. 
    Marni asks, how can women create abundance and not be attached to abundance? 
    This is one of the complex parts for people, Yael says. Everyone needs to design goals for their lives, financial and personal goals. There must be tangible things you are aiming for because those things will assist you in becoming the person you need to be to serve others, our growth journey.
    While we focus on the ‘why’, the ‘how' is orchestrated from above. God says let go of the outcome, just show up with your ‘why’, and do what you need to do. 
     
    To let God manage the ‘how’: 
    Be clear about your why Be comfortable with your what Show up and do what you need to do Allow the how to come from above  Are your financial goals me-centered or God-centered?
     
    Common Limiting Beliefs Women Have About Money  [11:29]
    While beliefs vary Yael says three common limiting beliefs women have about money are:
    There is not enough. —  Not true as money is infinite. I’m not good at this. —  While women, in general, haven't been taught about money as much as males, it doesn't mean it has to be your reality. It is something men do. —  Don’t rely on some version of Prince Charming to take care of it.  You can have the money, the health, the marriage, you can have everything. 
     
    Parental Responsibilities Around Money [27:46]
    Yael reminds us that children are learning about money whether parents intentionally teach them or not. They watch the way you behave and listen to the way you speak but through a child's eyes and ears.
    Parenting is a holy endeavor. Parents are responsible for raising capable, responsible, adults in the world. Unless you want to be saving your child financially for the rest of their lives you need to model and teach them to be responsible and not give it all so easily. 
     
    Make a Connection:
    Visit Our Website
    Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!
    Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!
    Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP
    Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show
    Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates
    Jewish Money Matters Podcast
    G-d Wants You To be Rich 5-day Retreat

    • 38 min
    Can I Get Him to Commit? With Dr. Emily Owens & Chris Gillis

    Can I Get Him to Commit? With Dr. Emily Owens & Chris Gillis

    Marni, Chris Gillis, and newcomer clinical psychologist, Dr. Emily Owens attempt to make heads or tails of the season finale of The Bachelorette 2021. It seems All-American girl Michelle Young has a bad picker. She chose Nayte who struggles with communications over emotionally well-versed Brandon. She may need to Life Check herself. 
     
    Key takeaways from this episode: 
    Make your words and actions match Play the long game when it comes to finding connection What you see is what you get with men Stay committed to your deal breakers  
    Your Words Don’t Match Your Actions Michelle [1:43] Michelle can’t go back and have a do-over. She chose Nayte, a guy who has never been in a relationship in his life and doesn't talk about his feelings. But, Marni says, this happens in real life to intelligent, savvy, professional women every day.
    Dr. Emily notes that Michelle’s body language told the story. She obviously has more of an attraction to Nayte. But, this isn’t in line with what Michelle said about needing to find someone who loves her more than she loves him. She is probably setting herself up to fail.
    Brandon and Michelle’s hug looked tender, soft, and authentic. The Nayte and Michelle hug didn't give off the same energy.
    After the rose ceremony, the network tells Nayte he has to move to Minnesota and the couple will receive $200,000 to buy a house. Does the money come with stipulations?
    Dr. Emily says Michelle may be trying to fit Nayte into a mold that he has professed isn’t for him. What you see is what you get with men. The relationship may not last very long.
     
    Brandon the Break Up King  [14:24]
    Brandon exhibited an emotionally mature communication style when Michelle broke up with him. He truly knows how to communicate his feelings. He said he wanted Michelle to be happy even if it wasn’t with him. He had a spiritual point of view. Marni hopes he stays true to being a nice, sweet kid. Chris agreed, saying that for a guy he articulated exceptional wisdom.
    Even the Twitterverse is poking fun at the discrepancy in Nayte’s inability to express himself and Brandon’s communication skills. 
    Ladies, when you are dating, be committed to your deal breakers and make sure you are looking for the right things.
    Emily says the thing about values is that they are a long-term game. In dating, if you play the short-term game you set yourself up to fail. Over the long term, you will feel more connected if you stay true to your values. 
    What is your game plan and how can you date to win?
    Marni thinks Michele may not be emotionally available enough to receive the kind of love Brandon has to offer. 
     
    Bachelor 2021 & 2022 [35:43]
    The barriers to the contestants finding healthy, romantic love for Bachelor 2021 were:
    Sabotaging perfectly good possibilities.  Wishing, hoping, or believing the right person will show up instead of doing the work Recognizing the short game versus long game contenders.  
    Make a Connection:
    Visit Our Website
    Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!
    Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!
    Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP
    Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show
    Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

    • 48 min

Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5
12 Ratings

12 Ratings

doris_morris_ ,

Bored of bachelorette chat

Such a shame! I used to really enjoy this podcast, I’ve gained a lot of insightful information and knowledge from the host, and interviewees. However I don’t watch the bachelor, and lately every episode has been Bachelorette focussed. For me to continue listening there needs to be some new, fresh content.

FilmistheBest ,

Sad racial dogwhistling

I’ve really enjoyed this show over the past year or so. It’s an interesting perspective and great to hear dating advice from an older person.

However, I shall be unsubscribing to the podcast from now on. Your silence over Black Lives Matter and the way you dismissed legitimate concerns as “cancel culture” on the recent episode goes against my values. There should be no debate on whether racism is right or wrong and you have not been clear enough about this on your show.

I really hope that you will reconsider your ambivalence on this crucial matter that affects society, dating and your listeners.

Of which I am no longer one

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