85 episodes

Have you ever wanted to know what the history of Middle Earth is, but have no desire to read the Silmarillion? Do you wonder about the most likely dark lord to rise after Sauron's downfall at the end of the Lord of the Rings? Do you just want to listen to some drunk friends dunk on the Hobbit movies? So, You Want to Read Tolkien brings you all of these things and so much more. Please join us in a discussion of history, literature, the absence of women, and why Frodo is the best. Also incest and rap battles.

So, You Want to Read Tolkien So, You Want to Read Tolkien

    • Books

Have you ever wanted to know what the history of Middle Earth is, but have no desire to read the Silmarillion? Do you wonder about the most likely dark lord to rise after Sauron's downfall at the end of the Lord of the Rings? Do you just want to listen to some drunk friends dunk on the Hobbit movies? So, You Want to Read Tolkien brings you all of these things and so much more. Please join us in a discussion of history, literature, the absence of women, and why Frodo is the best. Also incest and rap battles.

    Movie Episode! The Two Towers

    Movie Episode! The Two Towers

    On this, our first episode of 2020, please join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy in their discussion of the Two Towers movie directed by Peter Jackson.



    * Faramir is super different, how do we feel?

    * We want the version of this movie with Arwen at Helm’s Deep!

    * Hama for president 2020!

    * King Theoden, the best.

    * Also, we’ve accidentally been ignoring some emails. Sorry.



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    • 1 hr 1 min
    Episode 80: Can’t Go Wrong With Tentacles

    Episode 80: Can’t Go Wrong With Tentacles

    On this, our last episode of 2019, please join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy in their discussion of the 1978 animated movie, The Lord of the Rings.

    In which we ask the following very important questions:



    * Why doesn’t Aragorn wear pants?

    * Why does everyone want to punch Bilbo?

    * Who is Aruman?

    * Why is everyone the same height?



    If you drink alcohol, we recommend it for the viewing of this movie. If you do not…godspeed.

    We would still very much like to hear YOUR Gollum impressions! Please email them to us and have the opportunity to choose an episode topic for us!

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    • 38 min
    Episode 79: Sam is Real Good

    Episode 79: Sam is Real Good

    This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Nine, The Choices of Master Samwise

    Characters:



    * Sam – an extremely fearsome enemy (probably a large elf)

    * Frodo – he dead

    * Shelob – still nightmare fuel

    * Shagrat – orc middle management from the Tower of Cirith Ungol

    * Gorbag – orc middle management from Minas Morgul



     

    We would still very much like to hear YOUR Gollum impressions! Please email them to us and have the opportunity to choose an episode topic for us!

    • 31 min
    Episode 78: When You Wish Upon Your Daddy

    Episode 78: When You Wish Upon Your Daddy

    This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Eight, Shelob’s Lair

    Characters:



    * Frodo and Sam – Spelunkers

    * Gollum – it’s allllla Gollum now

    * Shelob – pure and utter nightmare fuel



    Characters from legend:



    * Earendil – has the silmaril now…and is a star, also the aforementioned Daddy

    * Melkor – original evil.

    * Ungoliant – original nightmare fuel spider.



     

    We would still very much like to hear YOUR Gollum impressions! Please email them to us and have the opportunity to choose an episode topic for us!

    Contact Us:

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    • 27 min
    Episode 77: Tourist Observation Deck

    Episode 77: Tourist Observation Deck

    This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Seven, The Stairs of Cirith Ungol

    Characters:



    * Frodo – Our hero

    * Sam – Our hero wouldn’t have got far without him



    Smeagollum – the hero of his own story

    The Witch-King of Angmar, the Lord of the Nazgul, the Black Captain – stabbed Frodo once

    Mentions:



    * Galadriel – gave Frodo a very important gift

    * Faramir – gave Frodo a less important gift 



    Characters from legend:



    * Beren – Had a silmaril one time

    * Earendil – has the silmaril now…and is a star



     

    We would still very much like to hear YOUR Gollum impressions! Please email them to us and have the opportunity to choose an episode topic for us!

    Contact Us:

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    Check out our Patreon!

    • 41 min
    Episode 76: Make a U Turn, Precious

    Episode 76: Make a U Turn, Precious

    This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Six, Journey to the Crossroads

    Characters:



    * Faramir – gone from our pages, but not from our hearts.

    * Frodo and Sam and Gollum – Our walking party. 



     

    Following the map of their journey, they walk down from Henneth Annun and end at was it labeled M10, the Crossroads.

    We would still very much like to hear YOUR Gollum impressions! Please email them to us and have the opportunity to choose an episode topic for us!

    Contact Us:

    Find us on Twitter!

    Check out our Patreon!

    • 22 min

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