Interviews and Stories from people on sex, kinks, fetishes, and the sex industry.
Cumming on the CMQshow
I don’t know if it was obvious to those of you that listened to my interview on the CMQshow but I had never done anything like that before.
Even though I was nervous, it felt strangely serendipitous.
If I hadn’t discovered Christian McQueen’s blog posts last year while doing research, I don’t think I would be a phone sex operator today. It’s bizarre that reading a random writer, from a world I didn’t know existed, started a chain of events in my life that would eventually cum full-circle to being interviewed on his show. Before I expand on a few of the things we discussed during the interview, I want to say Thank You to Christian and Dagonet (follow them on twitter). These guys were good to me–allowing me to ramble on from topic to topic, and share my unedited experiences.
They are both truly impressive gentlemen. I’m honored to have been invited on their show.
Visit their websites at The Quest for 50 and Christian McQueen
I know I promised a post on the tickler–it’s close to a final edit. It’s important to me that I capture this experience honestly, and with vivid detail–which takes time. It will be up this week.
The question came up of my callers moving beyond phone sex (not “needing” it anymore). It was implied that helping them find real-life sexual or social outlets may be bad for my business. I’ve never considered it in those terms. I don’t think about the money–it’s insignificant, other than to acknowledge that my time is worth something.
Mostly on calls, I’m just trying to give a man what he needs from me.
Paid phone sex is a complex dance of words and cues. Guys don’t usually come right out and tell me why they’ve called–I have to figure it out.
Not all my callers are depressed and needy, or seeking council. I have many different kinds of calls. A lot of the men I talk to are charming, articulate, and smart with very, very, dirty minds. For some, I’m a pre going-out warm up ritual, an after work wind-down, or a drunk late-night phone call. Sometimes I’m only an actress, and they don’t want to get personal. Other times I’m a girlfriend, a mistress, a submissive, a porn star, a therapist, or anything else you can imagine.
It’s an intense and very personal human interaction between two people. We are sharing a moment in life. Hopefully they get something out of talking to me–I definitely get something out of talking to them
During the podcast we talked a lot about shame-based fantasies. I hear a lot of shame in my line of work.
When we discussed women and rape fantasies, I pointed out that some of these come from the way women relate to sex, and sexuality at the beginning stages of puberty. I don’t believe that seeing a rape scene in movie causes the desire for these types of fantasies–only that the scenes gives an image, and context to sex for women. Also, to clarify, a rape fantasy should be called a ravishment fantasy. It is created within my mind–it can never really be a *rape* fantasy. I define the boundaries, choose the characters, create the scene and determine how it plays out.