87 episodes

On the Divorce Survival Guide Podcast we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go?
Hosted by Kate Anthony, your Divorce Survival Guide.

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Kate Anthony, CPCC

    • Self Help
    • 4.6 • 8 Ratings

On the Divorce Survival Guide Podcast we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go?
Hosted by Kate Anthony, your Divorce Survival Guide.

    "Am I the Abuser?" with Rhian Lockard

    "Am I the Abuser?" with Rhian Lockard

    A huge realization for many women going through divorce is around the emotional abuse they’ve suffered in their marriage. In my program, we have an entire module dedicated to uncovering and understanding this, part of which is hosted by my guest today, Rhian Lockard. 
    Invariably, as women dive more deeply into the work of uncovering emotional abuse, they are struck with the question, “Wait, am I the abuser?” 
    This week, my friend and colleague Rhian Lockard returns to the podcast to help answer that very question. (Spoiler: if you’re asking the question, you’re not the abuser.)
    Rhian is a multi-certified life coach who specializes in supporting her clients out of toxic relationships with themselves and others. In this episode, Rhian helps us to understand the difference between being the abuser and being someone backed into a corner trying to save themselves from a very real threat. 
    Show Highlights
    If you are asking the question, “Am I the abuser?”, you’re not the abuser.  (3:56) Someone who is emotionally abusive is seeking control from a relationship and not love or connection. (5:55) The fatal trait of a narcissist is that they want love but refuse to do the self-work. (16:02) Because you are not the abuser does not mean you don’t have toxic qualities. (18:03) How and why we start to behave in alignment with how our relationship is set up. (31:43) How do you get out of a toxic relationship? (35:39) Why you should go to therapy yourself, first. (41:48) How women can take back their innate sense of knowing. (48:14) Learn More About Rhian Lockhard:
    Rhian Lockard is a multi-certified life coach who specializes in supporting her clients out of toxic relationships with themselves and others. 
    Resources & Links:
    Rhian’s websites: Rhianlockard.com and Moonstonewitchery.com
    Rhian on Facebook
    Rhian’s previous appearance on The Divorce Survival Guide
    Rhian’s YouTube Video - Am I the Abuser?
    Look for Rhian's podcast - What Is Love? - on your favorite podcast streaming app! 
    The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide
    Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group

    • 58 min
    Dating After Divorce with Bela Gandhi

    Dating After Divorce with Bela Gandhi

    This week on the podcast, we’re talking about dating after divorce with Bela Gandhi. Bela has been called The Fairy Godmother of Dating by Steve Harvey, Harry Connick Jr. and The Huffington Post — so basically, she’s magic. 
    Bela is the founder of The Smart Dating Academy in Chicago, and has been helping people find lifelong love for over a decade.
    When I first got divorced, I could not wait to start dating!! Unfortunately, I wasn’t focused on dating for fun and experience. Instead, I was on a quest for my next husband! Needless to say, that did not go very well for me. #stillsingle
    When I look back at my dating experience post separation and divorce, I can say without hesitation that it was the biggest lesson in learning who I am in relationships. If you’re thinking about what dating after divorce will look like for you or about to start dating again, I encourage you to look at dating as an interesting and introspective process. 
    And to listen to whatever Bela tells you to do — that’s what I’m doing now! #projectfindkateahusband
    Show Highlights
    How to know when you’re ready to date and why making sure you are as healed as you can be following your divorce is so important. (7:47) If you haven’t worked on yourself first, you’ll run into the same relationship over and over again. (11:59) The difference between what happened in your past relationships and what you made up. (16:16) What has happened to the dating world because of COVID-19. (20:41) What are some of today’s rules of engagement for women coming out of marriages? (26:16) Some of the red flags of dating. (29:28) Dating with attention and awareness. (42:16) Smart Dating Academy: How Bela and her team work with clients. (46:09) Learn More About Bela Gandhi:
    Bela Gandhi is a dating/relationship expert, founder of Smart Dating Academy and a weekly media correspondent. She is a relationship expert and has been featured on most national/local media outlets. 
    After she graduated (with dual degrees in Finance and German from the University of Illinois in Urbana/Champaign), Gandhi worked in mergers and acquisitions for Arthur Andersen in Chicago for a year before joining her family's chemical and manufacturing company (CCC) as the, where she divided her time between Chicago and Europe helping to expand the business. When the Gandhi family sold its business to Akzo Nobel, she was asked to remain its leader, and became Akzo Nobel Non-Stick Coating’s Global Vice President of Housewares. But even as she quickly climbed the corporate ladder, Gandhi had a feeling that her career would one day be taking a sharp turn in a different direction – because she discovered her love of matchmaking and providing dating advice.  She launched her Smart Dating Academy in 2009.
    Smart Dating Academy has quickly become one of the nation's top date coaching firms - and teaches busy, successful professionals to jump start their dating lives successfully.  Smart Dating Academy is described by its clients “like going to Harvard Business School, but for dating and relationships”.  SDA’s coaches become personal trainers for their clients’ love lives.  The SDA coaching program is results-oriented and fun - which helps you to clarify who is right for you, stop old dating patterns, and use technology the RIGHT way. You become positive and enthusiastic about dating / relationships again! Its clients receive personalized dating plans, and essential training in how to meet high caliber singles, personal style, conversation, and online success.
    Resources & Links:
    Bela on Instagram
    Bela on Facebook
    Bela on Twitter
    Visit Bela’s website and grab your copy of 7 Clues You're Dating A Narcissist
    The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide
    Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group

    • 57 min
    Conscious Co-Parenting with Dorcy Pruter

    Conscious Co-Parenting with Dorcy Pruter

    Everything about divorce is hard. Court proceedings, mediation, and yes, co-parenting. In fact, nothing is more important than the safety and love for your children. When a co-parenting relationship turns sour or worse, parental alienation occurs, your children experience an emotional cutoff from one (or both) parents. 
    This week, we are talking about conscious co-parenting and attachment-based parental alienation with Dorcy Pruter. Dorcy is recognized as one of America’s Top Reunification Specialists, a “Conscious Co-Parenting Coach," who teaches divorcing parents struggling with Attachment-Based Parental Alienation how to reunite with their alienated children and resurface the bond that was obstructed. 
    Parents oftentimes are well intended, and most times our actions manifest from fear and love. It’s a fine line to maneuver. Dorcy helps us to understand how parental alienation shows up and what we can do about it. She also provides some amazing insight about essential skills our children should know in order to cope and move through life as a child of parents living apart.
    Show Highlights
    Dorcy explains Attachment-Based Parental Alienation and how it shows up in co-parenting relationships. (4:59) Why the goal is to protect all children, all of the time. (12:23) Covert alienation and what to do if you are the parent on the receiving end of implicit attacks. (14:06) The importance of creating a soft place for your children to land. (17:02) Why you should stop covering for your ex’s inadequacies and instead teach your children how to be in a relationship with them. (23:03) Critical thinking skills are one of the most powerful skills that we can teach our kids. (34:29) Why you should stop covering for your ex’s inadequacies and instead teach your children how to be in a relationship with them. Critical thinking skills are one of the most powerful skills that we can teach our kids. Learn More About Dorcy Pruter
    Dorcy is recognized as one of America’s Top Reunification Specialists, a “Conscious Co-Parenting Coach," who teaches divorcing parents, struggling with Attachment-Based Parental Alienation, how to reunite with their alienated children and resurface the bond that was obstructed. She teaches children “HOW to be in relationship with BOTH parents” and delivers high-impact reunification strategies that inspire left-behind parents to take immediate action and restore the relationships with their children. In just a few years, Dorcy created one of the world’s leading co-parenting companies, The Conscious Co-Parenting Institute, to meet the needs of parents wherever they are in the divorce process.  
    Resources & Links:
    Conscious Co-Parenting Institute
    Dorcy on Facebook
    Dorcy on LinkedIn
    Dorcy on Instagram
    Dorcy on Twitter
    Custody Resolution Method program
    The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide
    Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group

    • 51 min
    Sobriety and Divorce with Laura McKowen

    Sobriety and Divorce with Laura McKowen

    Getting sober is a vulnerable process, but as this week’s guest’s book suggests, there is surprising magic in getting sober. Laura McKowen, author of We Are the Luckiest is here to talk about her journey to sobriety, getting comfortable with the uncomfortable, and making it through to the other side.  
    I’ve been on my own sobriety journey, and I'm still kind of early in the process. In this episode, you’ll hear how my story is completely different from Laura's, yet the feelings are so similar.
    If you’re not sober, if you're not struggling to get sober, or if you have no intention of ever getting sober, this episode (and Laura’s book) is still a great resource! The wisdom Laura shares during our conversation are applicable to every facet of life. 
    Show Highlights
    Laura shares openly about getting divorced in the midst of her sobriety journey. (4:53) Learning how to be in a relationship with someone without alcohol. (10:45) Why people-pleasing is a form of dishonesty and some of the other insidious ways that we're not honest with ourselves and those around us. (16:38) The pregnancy principle: what it is and why it matters. (39:45) In order for something new to grow there have to be boundaries. (23:36) How to let go of perfectionism. (40:01) Learn More About Laura McKowen: 
    Laura McKowen is the author of We Are the Luckiest. She is a former public relations executive who has become recognized as a fresh voice in the recovery movement. Beloved for her soulful and irreverent writing, she now leads sold-out yoga-based retreats and courses that teach people how to say yes to a bigger life. She hosted the iTunes Top 100 podcast HOME, with over 1.5 million downloads. and has been featured on the TODAY show, in the Guardian,  New York Times, Web MD,  and more. 
    Resources & Links:

    Laura’s website
    Laura on Facebook
    Laura on Instagram  
    Laura on Twitter
    Laura on Pinterest 
    The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide
    Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group
     

    • 51 min
    Divorce Funding with Nicole Noonan, Esq.

    Divorce Funding with Nicole Noonan, Esq.

    This week on the show, we have a woman who has been crowned The Fairy Godmother of Divorce by the New York Post! Nicole Noon, Esq. is a nationally recognized divorce expert and pioneer of divorce funding.  And she's super cool.  
    So what is divorce funding? It’s very much like getting an advance so that you can afford to go through your divorce. If you’ve decided it is time to leave your marriage, but are stuck due to finances, then divorce funding might help you move forward. Nicole helps us understand what it is and how it can help women get through financial hurdles. 
    Show Highlights
    Divorce funding, what it is and how it can help. (4:00) Some of the ways in which you can use the funds. (8:47)) Securing a divorce fund and the process from start to finish. (10:00) How having your credit destroyed by your husband can affect your ability to apply for and get funds. (11:28) The logistics of divorce funding, including how to access the money, terms for paying it back, and more. (21:00) Some resources for women who can't afford to go the usual divorce route. (26:00) Learn More About Nicole Noonan, Esq.: 
    Nicole Noonan, Esq., CEO of New Chapter Capital Inc., specializes in divorce funding. She formerly served as President of Novitas US. She is a nationally recognized divorce expert and pioneer of divorce funding.  Crowned the “Fairy Godmother of Divorce” by the New York Post. Recognized by New York Magazine as New York’s Women Leader’s in the Law 2014. She has been seen on Good Morning America, Bloomberg TV, WLNY’s “The Couch” and WPIX.   She also been featured in The Huffington Post’s Women in Business, American Banker, The Economist, Forbes Magazine, Fortune Magazine, and The New York Times 
    Resources & Links:
    Nicole’s website 
    Nicole on Instagram
    Nicole on LinkedIn
    Nicole on Facebook 
    Nicole on Twitter
    The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide
    Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group

    • 30 min
    Finding Common Ground with Dana Michelle Davenport, Esq.

    Finding Common Ground with Dana Michelle Davenport, Esq.

    When the Black Lives Matter movement rose up more powerfully than ever in the wake of the murder of George Floyd, I checked in with the Black women in my Facebook group to see how they were doing. 
    Obviously, they weren’t doing too well. But one thing they were struggling with surprised me: the guilt they felt around leaving Black men in the midst of this rise in racial tension. Because the Black women in my group are all too aware of the trauma that Black men carry on their backs, simply by virtue of being Black men in America, and would leave them now traumatize them in some even deeper way?
    Most women feel guilty for leaving their husbands on some level. Most of us are even keenly aware of the trauma that our partners live with that impact many of the issues in our marriages. But the guilt Black women feel is something else entirely. The trauma Black men live with by virtue of being Black in America is something that most of us can only begin to fathom.
    In order to break down this topic (and a few more!) I turned to my friend Dana Michelle Davenport, Esq, who is a Black woman, an attorney, and a divorced mom!
    In this episode, we discuss how the world’s current events are impacting our diverse population and what COVID-19 is teaching us about how we look at and live our lives.
    Show Highlights
    Black women tend to put themselves last, Dana offers some insightful advice on managing your own priorities and values, and not to feel guilty about it. (10:51)
    You don’t know what kind of co-parent you are until you are one and you don’t know what kind of co-parent you married until you divorce. (21:31)
    You will carry the same baggage into your next relationship if you don’t deal with it and work through it. (23:00)
    If your partner is not supportive of your dreams or growth and tries to squash them, this is just one RED flag that you are not where you are supposed to be. You have to stand up for you! (38:00)
    We discuss toxic energy and projection, and how it can affect you. (40:00)
    Part of growth is not being afraid of failure. (44:00)
    Learn More About Dana Michelle Davenport, Esq.: 
    Dana Michelle is the host of radio and television talk shows Dana Being Dana, new television show Finding Common Ground and Co-founder and Director of The Homecoming Challenge, a non-profit alumni giving campaign. A full-time practicing attorney and mother of two, Dana Michelle divorced in 2015 and unleashed a new lease on life.  
    Resources & Links:
    Our Happy Divorce weekly lives / weekly live archived episode with Dana
    Dana’s website
    Dana Being Dana
    Finding Common Ground
    Dana on Facebook
    Dana on Instagram
    Dana’s Homecoming Challenge
    The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide
    Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group

    • 55 min

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