The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Kate Anthony, CPCC

Discover how laughter can lighten the weight of divorce in this week’s episode. When your whole world feels on fire, bringing levity to divorce can be like a breath of fresh air. My guest this week, Andrea Rappaport, knows a thing or two about imparting humor in one's life while navigating difficult situations. Andrea is a recovering comedian who is the co-host of the top-ranked Apple podcast, How Not to Suck at Divorce. 
Andrea and I look at the delicate balance between humor and seriousness in this episode when discussing divorce. Plus, we talk about why finding the right attorney is essential and the need for having a supportive squad by your side. 
Featured topics:

Why humor is so important when we're struggling (3:30)

Some of the mistakes Andrea made in her divorce and what she learned (10:30)

Checking expectations: “If you have an unhealthy marriage, you will likely not have a healthy divorce.” (11:53)

Hiring the RIGHT attorney for your divorce (14:15)

Why you need and DESERVE a team of support as you go through this process (44:20)


Learn more about Andrea Rappaport:
Andrea Rappaport is the co-host of the top-ranked Apple podcast, How Not to Suck at Divorce. As a recovering comedian, she STRONGLY values the need for humor in our lives while navigating difficult situations. Andrea is proudly divorced and a mom to two little boys whom she loves almost as much as a shopping trip to TJMAXX. She has recently been engaged to a man who makes her laugh and loves her deeply. When she’s not shopping or podcasting, Andrea co-runs a Chicago-based marketing and messaging firm, Rappaport & Schaer.
Resources & Links:
Kate’s book “The D Word” - audiobook available now!
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Andrea’s website
Andrea on Instagram
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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
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Tami Wollensak returns to the show! She shares more about divorcing and the nuances of keeping, selling, or refinancing your home. Tami is a licensed mortgage loan originator and a 28+ year industry veteran. She has discovered her passion in helping divorcing individuals navigate their home equity solutions and mortgage options while going through the most challenging time.
Grab your notebook and a pen - this episode is a notetaking one that busts some myths and provides expert advice on what questions to ask when considering whether to take or leave the house during your divorce.  
Featured topics:

Assuming the mortgage on the marital home: The answer to “Can my ex assume the mortgage on the marital home?” is not always “No.” (4:18)

What are your options if you are unable to assume the mortgage? (21:00)

The importance of considering the long-term consequences of sharing a mortgage with your ex (23:21)

The information you need to be able to decide if you can assume a mortgage (28:04)


Learn more about Tami Wollensak:
Tami Wollensak is a licensed mortgage loan officer and a 28+ year veteran of the industry, she has experience working in multiple roles and facets of the industry. She has discovered her true passion in helping divorcing individuals navigate their home equity solutions and mortgage options while going through the most challenging time of their life.
Tami has earned the certification as a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®). This specialization provides the ability to identify potential gaps in the agreement that cannot be met during the mortgage process. Tami works with her client’s attorney, coach, mediator, or financial advisor to help guide them through all the options available to ensure a successful outcome regarding the divorcing couple’s real estate or future purchase. Tami has been a guest on multiple podcasts, speaks regularly and contributes to many media outlets on divorce mortgage planning and helping divorcing homeowners to make better and more informed decisions when it comes to their real property.
As a Mortgage Loan Originator, Tami’s goal is to educate her clients, take the mystery and anxiety out of the mortgage process, and provide a sense of security and peace to each of them. Tami can lend in all 50 states. (NMLS #1963450)
Resources & Links:
Kate’s book “The D Word” - audiobook available now!
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Tami’s website
Tami on Facebook 
Tami on LinkedIn
Tami on Instagram
Episode Link:
https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-262-home-equity-solutions-in-divorce-with-tami-wollensak/
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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
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Licensed Psychologist Dr. Justine Weber is on the show this week as we explore the complex journey of healing after leaving an abusive relationship. Her recent book is, “How the F*ck Do I Heal From This?” and the title (and content) is a favorite of mine! In the book and during our conversation, Dr. Weber walks us through understanding narcissistic abuse and how to put your life back together after everything feels like it has fallen apart.  
Together, we explore everything from dealing with post-separation abuse and navigating co-parenting with a narcissist to finding solace in somatic therapy and building back self-trust. This episode unpacks the multifaceted process of healing and empowerment.
Featured topics:

Somatic therapy and learning to reconnect with Self (11:33)

Navigating post-separation abuse while working toward healing (17:42)

Tips and insights for communicating with a narcissist (22:41)

How to cope and detach from legal threats made by your abuser (35:27)


Learn more about Justine Weber:
California licensed Psychologist, a coach helping people heal after a narcissistic relationship, certified in high conflict divorce coaching, and a recent book author titled "How the fuck do I heal from this? Understanding narcissistic abuse and how to put your life back together".
Resources & Links:
Kate’s book “The D Word” - audiobook available now!
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Justine’s website
Justine’s book, “How the F*ck Do I Heal From This?”
BIFF for Co-Parent Communication
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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
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Relationship coach and author Bryan Reeves joins me this week to discuss relationships, personal growth, and societal constructs. Bryan’s journey from military service to relationship coaching reveals insights into the power and necessity of connecting with emotions, especially for men. 
Many of Bryan’s insights are drawn from his work with couples and his book, “Choose Her Every Day or Leave Her,” focusing on choosing connection over disconnection, confronting one’s fears, and the transformative power of love and accountability in relationships.
Bryan’s work is incredibly important. Please listen to what’s possible in the world of relationships. This is truly an insightful conversation!
Featured topics:

Most men come to relationship work when they realize they have no choice… (3:01)

How culture teaches men to suppress emotions and the journey from disconnection to real connection with feelings and others (5:17)

Bryan talks about what he means when he says he teaches men “to care and not care simultaneously.” (20:00)

Creating safety in relationship with women and taking responsibility (38:51)

Encouraging men’s engagement in personal growth (48:12)


Learn more about Bryan Reeves:
A former US Air Force Captain, Bryan is now an internationally renowned Author and Life/Relationship Coach with a current focus on supporting men to have better lives and relationships. His viral blog has been read by over 50 million people in every country on the planet (except North Korea). He’s the co-founder of “Elevate Your Relationship,” a live coaching program for men ready to elevate their relationship game, which currently serves men in 10 countries. He’s co-host of the popular podcast, “Men, This Way,” and his newest book, Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her), is available on Audible, Amazon and other retailers.
Resources & Links:
Kate’s book “The D Word” – audiobook available now!
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Bryan’s website
Bryan’s book: Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her)
Women Who Run With Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes
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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
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Psychologist and writer Kerry McAvoy joins me to discuss the challenges of being in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder. We also delve into its effects on individuals and share insights on self-nurturing after the relationship ends.
Kerry Kerr McAvoy is a psychologist and a writer who educates on social media about cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her book, Love You More, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.
Featured topics:

We explore the phrase “It takes two to tango…” Does it, though, when narcissistic abuse or toxicity is involved in a relationship? (1:49)

Is there anything that you can do to help a narcissistic and abusive partner? The short answer is no. (7:00)

Narcissistic Personality is a disorder. It’s not a mental health condition. Kerry explains the distinction. (11:58)

The slow dismantling of Self when you are in an abusive relationship. (15:29)

Covert Aggression: what it means and how it shows up (19:56)

Focusing on and nurturing yourself back to life is essential in a relationship that has dimmed you. (46:08)


Learn more about Kerry McAvoy:
Kerry Kerr McAvoy is a psychologist and a writer who educates on social media about cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her book, Love You More, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.
Resources & Links:
Kate’s book “The D Word - audiobook now available!
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kerry's book, Love You More
Kerry on TikTok
Kerry on Instagram
Kerry on Facebook
Kerry on YouTube
Why Can’t I Just Leave (book)
Episode link:
https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-259-healing-from-narcissistic-relationships-with-kerry-mcavoy/
DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
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My guest, Jason VanRuler, shares his direct and honest approach to working with couples and offers a fresh perspective on overcoming past challenges and building exceptional relationships. During our conversation, you’ll discover how to “Get Past Your Past” as Jason shares invaluable insights, emphasizing the importance of taking action and not seeking validation from others for your progress.
We also discuss navigating resistance in relationships, dealing with differing narratives in divorce, and addressing the complexities of sex addiction within marriage. With over a decade of experience as a coach and therapist, Jason’s expertise shines through as he offers practical advice and compassionate support. 
Featured topics:

Jason explains what he means by “get past your past…” (2:28)

“Sometimes it’s not that you don’t know what to do; it’s that you are not doing what you’re supposed to do.” (8:53)

It is essential to recognize that not everyone will be happy about your progress when you do the work. Do not determine your success by the approval of the people you are surrounded by. (9:56)

The effects and challenges a couple faces when one is doing the work and the other is resistant. (13:07)

Jason answers, “What do you do when your ex-partner has a narrative about your divorce that differs from yours?” (22:52)

The effects of sex addiction on marriage and how Jason works with couples around this type of addiction. (31:57)

Learn more about Jason VanRuler:
Jason VanRuler has worked in everything from the corporate world to the entrepreneurial one — and has over a decade of experience as a coach and therapist dedicated to helping others. With extensive experience as a coach, clinician, and speaker, Jason now owns a private practice, writes books, gives speeches, and facilitates and leads groups across the world.
Coaching is always equal parts affirming, honest, and compassionate — and Jason’s practice has led with this approach when helping every client seeking guidance and direction. Whether it’s leadership coaching, relationship building, couples therapy, addiction, trauma, or something different, his goal is the same: to speak truth and grace into every life I work with.
When Jason is not facilitating, coaching, speaking, or writing, you can find him cycling, fly fishing, and living life with his wife and three children at their home in South Dakota.  
Resources & Links:
Kate’s book “The D Word
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Jason’s website
Jason’s book Get Past Your Past
Jason on Instagram
TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:
PRIMIS BANK
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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
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