Who Back When | A Doctor Who Podcast WhoBackWhen.com

Eye-booger monsters, an FPS perspective and heavy Pet'ing didn't quite detract from the gargantuan plot holes in this one



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Boom! First-person perspective cold open aboard a spaceship where the crew’s gone missing, Doc and Clara have turned up for no real reason, and so has a team of soldiers, of whom exactly one was genetically bred for soldiering — because that’s what we do in the future, except for the entire rest of the team… of soldiers.



You know how you really want to work even more, but all that pesky free time and sleep always get in the way? Well, not anymore, buddy, because in the far-flung future a mad scientist with corporate backing has invented a pod that packs all your snoozing needs into one stretch like that lady from the start of Amelie Poulain.



Well, turns out the crew’s gone missing because they plopped inside the sleeping pods and were subsumed by the snoozie gunk in the corner of their eye. And now there are eye-booger monsters roaming the space corridors, plotting to take over the space universe under the spell of the aforementioned mad space scientist, or so the episode claims, because what just happened?!



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Toodle-Pip!

Doc and Romana team up with the single-greatest comb-over in E-Space to battle a Big Daddy Vampire



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Still stuck in E-Space, The Fourth Doctor, Romana and K-9 are on the lookout for a way back home. Stumbling upon a planet with a population of maybe thirty people at most, who have barely even discovered astrology, they decide to land and see if anyone can point them in the direction of the nearest CVE.



There they find the cast of ‘What We Do In The Shadows’ living in a rocket-shaped castle, ruling over the nearby village of inbreds and occasionally stealing some of them away to drain them of their blood. Because it transpires that an ancient giant vampire king from Gallifreyan legends is trying to return to N-Space, too.



And to make matters far far worse, a child actor has stowed away aboard the TARDIS.



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Toodle-Pip!

Duelling Claras, a sucker punch and Basil’s legendary soliloquy



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Clara Oswald is being Old Boy’d inside her own mind when she realises that she’s not quite out for the count yet, and instead perfectly capable of subconsciously strategising against her doppelganger. She even managed her own mini retro rewrite of last week’s ending.



Doc, meanwhile, may have bailed out of his poncing purposes airplane, but is not about to bail on either party in this struggle. Companion of the fortnight, Osgood (maybe), is at his side as he heads back to civilisation to see how much life Clara has left in her.



The Zygon splinter group, led by Bonnie, the aforementioned double, will stop at nothing to expose the truth or consequences, even going so far as to flip a coin and risk committing mass suicide. Only a legendarily badass soliloquy can save the day.



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WhoBackWhen.com



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Toodle-Pip!

Cavemen and spiders attack in droves, but all the Lost Boys can think about is giant melons



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Doc and Romana have dropped off last week’s succulent-spooked accountant back on 1980’s Earth and are looking forward to a return trip to Gallifrey. Well, Doc is surprisingly chipper about the trip given what’s happened on previous visits, but Romana is worried that she’ll have to stop her TARDIS travels and settle down to some kind of “normal” life. All of that flies out the Gallifrey-displaying window when some kind of weird space wibble means the TARDIS and its crew get sent into a pocket universe where a lush planet is right slap bang at Gallifrey’s coordinates.



As Whovian lore would have it, said planet contains a tribe of humans who enjoy hot summers by the river but like to retire to the safe havens of their giant spaceship, the Starliner, when the strange-but-expected mists start to roll in. The mist brings with it a group of Swamp Thing cosplayers who really like the look of the Starliner and have invited themselves round for a cup of tea, a bit of clubbing and the general distribution of death and chaos.



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WhoBackWhen.com



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Toodle-Pip!

Electric hairballs make the laziest tumbleweeds



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UNIT’s zany comedy double act, Osgood and Osgood, have recorded one final short just in case, on the off chance, either a human or an undercover Zygon ever commits a murder and activates the one tiny loophole in the otherwise most perfect peace treaty of all time.



Left clutching her twin’s box after Missy’s murderous flight of fancy, the surviving Osgood goes mad with grief and heads to the whimsically named Truth or Consequences, where British immigrants are getting murdered in corkboard-sized rampages and treated no better than dogs.



Enter the President of the World, Kagels, and someone who looks very much like Clara to save the day. Splitting up, K-Stew reviews the Ts & Cs, Doctor Disco flies to Lightly Fictionali-stan, while Clara or Not-sequences tries to get to the bottom of a lift-shaft mystery.



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Check out WHOBACKWHEN.COM for more information, Doctor Who TV Serial and Audiobook reviews, ratings and ramblings, and loads more podcast episodes.



WEB:

WhoBackWhen.com



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Toodle-Pip!

Mercurial mercenaries manage Doc's grocery shopping



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The Doctor has spent six years residing at The Consensus’s pleasure at the heart of a botched stellar weapon, tackling solar eruptions as they’re Bubblin’ up before they get Too Close to the monitoring station, so they don’t All Rise, Fly By, and wipe out the 2 billion people living on the star system’s planets, leaving him Guilty.



Into this boiling pot sneak two sims, former rebellious allies of the Doctor. One says, “U Make Me Wanna kill you because it’ll be worse If You Come Back” but the other tells him to Breathe Easy because the Consensus have merely trapped him in a giant computer game. Can he work out the truth before the Curtain Falls?



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Check out WHOBACKWHEN.COM for more information, Doctor Who TV Serial and Audiobook reviews, ratings and ramblings, and loads more podcast episodes.



WEB:

WhoBackWhen.com



FACEBOOK:

Facebook.com/WhoBackWhen



Instagram:

Instagram.com/whobackwhen



YOUTUBE:

WhoBackWhen.com/YouTube



TWITTER:

@whobackwhen



Toodle-Pip!