Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell Dan Purcell | Sex & Intimacy Coach | Christian Husband

For most couples, there's a lot of hot passion and excitement during the early dating and engagement time and for a while after the wedding. But over time, we develop routines, scripts, and become habituated to each other. This is normal and serves a good purpose. However, herein lies the challenge: how do you create an intimate marriage with lots of passion long term?
This is the very thing I research, teach, and coach about in my program and at my retreats. And I was a guest on the Redhead Reveal podcast. The host, Jen Pinkerton, is a marriage and family therapist out of Houston, and I had a great conversation with her about navigating intimacy in long term marriages.
And this is the episode that we recorded that I want to release with you today. In this episode, we're going to answer the questions such asthese: Why is it hard to keep sex passionate when you've been married for a long time? What can couples do to create an environment for passion to thrive? What is validation seeking behavior and how does that tend to interfere with a healthy, intimate relationship?
And I think you'll find a lot of other great golden nuggets in this episode!
If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources:
Intimately Us App
How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13
Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

It's so easy to notice how our spouse is making choices that get in the way of them getting what they really want.  Our brains expend tremendous amount of energy trying to get our spouses to see things our way, because from our vantage point, they're self-sabotaging, right? It's so obvious (to us anyway). 
Of course, our spouses think think the same thing about us. :)
If you or someone you love has ever felt this way, then this podcast episode is for you. We're going to talk about relational self-awareness: what it is, how to get it, and how to build a better relationship with your lover. 
My guest today is Dr. Alexandra Solomon. She is a professor of marriage and family therapy at Northwestern university in Chicago. I recently read one of her books, Love Every Day, and we have a great chat about the principles in her book and those she teaches in her class.
If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources:
Intimately Us App
How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13
Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

For a lot of us, we associate the word "eroticism" with something that's distasteful or something that we probably shouldn't want as a Christ-loving people, right? 
We don't go embracing the things we see on Las Vegas billboards, for example. So eroticism to to some is kind of something hard to hear.  Now, this is a concept I teach towards the end of our retreats and my program because there's a lot of groundwork to cover first to understand it. And I understand that we generally don't talk about eroticism because it's very personal.
But whether you believe that the book of Songs of Solomon / The Song of Songs in the Old Testament was inspired by God or just purely, really good Hebrew poetry, we have many examples, even in the Bible, of married couples using their eroticism to create something special within their relationship, something precious. 
And that's the kind of eroticism I want to talk about today. It's the kind that will strengthen your marriage and bring you closer together.
 
If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources:
Intimately Us App
How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13
Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

Did you know that most couples that visit traditional sex therapy have very poor outcomes? They're still just as dissatisfied two years later as they were before therapy. 
Now this insight is particularly striking to me. I think this happens because conventional sex therapy has a primary focus on the individual genitals and sexual dysfunction; there isn't a lot of focus on sex in the context of a marriage relationship. 
I believe that both partners co-create their dynamic in the marriage. And thus, both people contribute to the challenges that they face in their relationship. 
In my experience, sexual struggles are actually symptomatic of deeper issues within the relationship. Recognizing the shift from the focus of merely trying to fix the sex to understanding and nurturing the entire relationship is really important. 
My guest today is Rhonda Farr. She is an intimacy coach and a personal friend of mine. In today's interview, you're going to hear about the time when a person asked her for sex while on an airplane. 😱 You'll get to hear her thoughts and why high achievers struggle in intimacy and in their marriage. 
You'll also hear us role-play what a conversation might look like when addressing sexual desire difference concerns between a husband and a  wife. Learn about how to 
If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources:
Intimately Us App
How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13
Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
 
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

In this episode, we're going to be talking about making penetration pleasurable, a how to make intercourse amazing, and how to close the orgasm chasm in your marriage, as well as some specific techniques on how to make sex with your spouse sweeter and more worthwhile. 
I love doing episodes like this because I learn a lot about how to make sex fun and meaningful in my own marriage.
I'm reminded though that great sex is far more of a matter of the heart than it is about performance. I met Susan Bratton a year ago when we both shared the stage on Monica Tanner's intimacy summit. Susan is a woman in her sixties having sex like she's in her twenties. She's a gifted speaker and educator about sex and she covers a lot of material. I love how she helps me see what's possible for my wife and me in our own marriage bed.

 
If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources:
Intimately Us App
How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13
Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
 
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.
 

As you know, I love answering your questions all about sex, marriage, intimacy, and more. I recently had the opportunity to answer anonymous questions from my friend Hailey Reidhead's audience. Her listeners sent in questions which I was able to answer on her podcast, "She's a Lady," and Hailey allowed me to share it here with you.

In this episode, we're going to address these great questions such as the following:

Does hormonal birth control affect libido even after you stop using it? How often are couples actually having sex every week? What to do when one spouse has a much bigger sex drive and it's hard to keep up (and then you feel guilty for not having sex as often as they want) and how it feels bad telling them no so much. How to spice up a long term marriage And more!  
I believe building an intimate marriage is one of the most rewarding, most satisfying work we can experience in this life. I also believe strongly that sex is a gift from God to be enjoyed by husbands and wives and I encourage you to ask questions and seek answers about your sexual relationship. 

This is why my team and I have put together the new Get Your Marriage On Program. This program is designed for busy couples that want to fix the difficulties around sex and intimacy in their marriage for good. This program isn't about new positions or ways to spice things up. It's not superficial like that.

It's about going much, much deeper.

This program is ideal for anyone that is experiencing mismatched libidos, hang ups around intimacy, struggles with good girl or good boy syndrome, facing challenges from pornography use, or want help with communication. People in this program get real results. Check out the details on my website.

If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources:
Intimately Us App
How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less
Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13
Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13
You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com
 
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.