Rewrite the Mother Code with Dr. Gertrude Lyons Dr. Gertrude Lyons

In this episode, I’m honored to speak with Pastor Brenda K. Mitchel. She is a Fellow with Everytown Survivor Network, Co-Chapter Lead with Moms Demand Action, Founder of Purpose Over Pain, and an ordained minister. 
Brenda shares her story of losing her son Kevin to gun violence and how that changed her life and her family forever. Brenda’s work and focus shifted to helping her community through advocating for trauma-informed care and making resources available to move families and communities towards wholeness, utilizing the tools of mindfulness and meditation in the healing process. We speak about the shapes the mother code can take after such a life-changing event and how our resilience comes into play. 
Being exposed to gun violence every day, as well as the traumas of American life and history, has led to a loss of innocence, to say the least, and it’s easy to fall into a pattern of feeling unconnected to our communities, especially those experiencing loss. Brenda reminds us that as mothers, as people with compassionate hearts, we’re always on the front line. Self-care is paramount in her work and for moms in a similar position. Choosing joy each day is not simple, but it is a critical step in choosing life. Brenda names action steps listeners can take today to help change the reality of gun violence in the U.S. To think “this will never happen to me” is naive and the mindset we need to override with action. I hope you let Brenda’s story, her incredible advocacy work, and her message into your heart. 
You’ll also hear about: 
(00:33) Welcome Brenda Mitchell(03:29) When a mother loses a child, we all lose a child(11:42) Deeply feeling emotions, pain, and trauma as a mother (15:45) You can’t help others if you’re broken(24:33) Brenda’s relationship with her mom(33:35) Action steps to take today(39:33) What it means to choose life(46:37) May your heart forever guide 
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Resources mentioned in the episode: 
Live Through This by Kristen McGuinness
Connect with Pastor Brenda K. Mitchell
For grief support, call Brenda at 708-275-6418
Learn more on Everytown Survivor Network
Text JOIN to 64433 for next steps with the Everytown Survivor Network
Learn more on Moms Demand Action
Learn more on Purpose Over Pain
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Learn more on Dr. Gertrude’s website
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I’m back! And so happy to be back. Lately, I’ve been inching closer to my book deadline while simultaneously processing the new ways I’ve been rewriting the mother code over the last six months. This most recent “trimester” of book writing has inspired a lot of change not only in my writing process but myself. I share how the transformation process coincides with all aspects of myself: the academic, the personal, the spiritual. Learning to alchemize these while working and growing new sides of myself, like my shamanic side, has been illuminating.
I go into some of the questions that have been coming up in this work, such as: what are the implications for myself and the world as I rewrite the mother code? Once made, these connections must be constantly renewed and nurtured. I share some reflections on our most recent retreat and how truly meaningful it was to connect with this community. Especially in these times, the state of the world touches the state of my heart. Time feels different. Continuing the work to rewrite the mother code feels more critical than ever.  
You’ll also hear about: 
(01:35) Book in progress
(04:33) Chapters as pregnancy
(07:09) Embracing my mystical medical woman
(11:18) Time has a new meaning
(14:54) Working with the soft feminine 
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Mothering isn't just a role—it's an energy, a transformative experience that transcends traditional definitions. Whether as a noun, a verb, or a profound force, mothering is accessible to everyone who embraces it. Dr. Gertrude Lyons' groundbreaking work celebrates this essence, providing the tools and support to lead more authentic, joyful, and fulfilling lives - whether you’re seeking greater intimacy, more job satisfaction, or something else, you’re in the right place. Dive into this revolution with the Rewrite the Mother Code podcast and awaken the mothering spirit within you. 
On Rewrite the Mother Code, Dr. Gertrude explores women’s development, parenting, self-love, and relationship fulfillment through storytelling, interviews with experts, and conversations with community members. Dr. Gertrude is having conversations about motherhood and mothering that no one else is having. She brings herself and her guests into alignment through the transformational opportunity in mothering.
If you’re curious about what embarking on the journey of Rewriting YOUR Mother Code could feel like, interested in joining a community of open-hearted women, and learning to celebrate what makes you you, you’ve come to the right place. 
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Dr. Gertrude talks with Working Mom Balanced Podcast Host Nelly Alba about creating the life you want as a mother. As an ambitious, career-oriented person, Nelly found the typical work-life balance advice ineffective and negative. 
After suffering a breakdown living according to what moms “should do,” she consciously decided to live differently than the blogs suggested. She began her business of blogging, podcasting, and mentoring other working moms while also raising two children and being the director of a non-profit organization. 
Nelly and Dr. Gertrude discuss the importance of self-awareness and self-discovery before making huge life changes. If we don’t know how we want change to look, it's easy to fall into old habits and do what we think other people want, ignoring ourselves. 
Nelly shares her experiences rewriting the mother codes, including establishing healthier family boundaries and supporting her partner, who is a stay-at-home father. Nelly details some of the softer tools she uses to prevent stress and dispel negativity in the long term.
Episode Outline:
(00:48) Dr. Gertrude's life update
(07:08) Nelly Alba’s journey to Working Mom Balanced 
(15:24) Balance is not found its created
(20:41) Biggest mother codes Nelly rewrote
(27:28) Connecting to your vision
(32:36) Deciding to be a stay-at-home dad
(39:33) Tools for stress management
(45:24) What does rewrite the mother code mean for Nelly
(46:35) Dr. Gertrude’s wrap-up
Connect with Nelly Alba:
Listen to Working Mom Balanced Podcast
Learn more on Nelly’s website
Download Nelly’s free clarity journal
Connect with Dr. Gertrude: 
Learn more on Dr. Gertrude’s website
Follow Dr. Gertrude on Instagram
Stay in the loop and sign up to Dr. Gertrude’s newsletter
Mentioned in this episode:
Learn more about the 2024 Spring Equinox Self-Mothering Retreat at https://www.drgertrudelyons.com/spring-equinox-24

This special solo episode with Dr. Gertrude welcomes the upcoming winter solstice. Instead of fearing or avoiding the darker months ahead, Dr. Gertrude shares ways to embrace, learn from, and even look forward to this darker part of the year. 
Dr. Gertrude examines the solstice's inherent feminine power. Just as the womb nurtures, so do the dark months. These metaphors add layers of meaning to the winter as a time of deep introspection and an understanding that the lyrical mystery of the darkness is simple to embrace. 
The wisdom of the dark goddess is present across cultures, such as Kali, Morrígan, Persephone, and Ereshkigal, each symbolizing states of life, death, rebirth, and magic. Their archetypal energies are available to tap into at all times. 
Though it is easy to become swept up in the busyness of the holiday season, Dr. Gertrude reminds us to balance rest with activity. The longest night of the year ushers in a time to consider the year’s harvest, what’s worked and what hasn’t, rest, pause, and take stock of all we have accomplished. From this rested state, we can more clearly locate our dreams and consider our metrics for success. 
Dr. Gertrude concludes by encouraging listeners to sit and be still with the darkness. Meditate, let your intentions include excavating the dreams of your unconscious, honor the solstice, journal, listen in, and most importantly, rest.
Episode Outline:
(03:07) The darkness of winter solstice 
(09:31) The Solstice’s Feminine power  
(13:49) Dark goddess: life, death, rebirth
(17:09) Kali, Morrígan, Persephone, and Ereshkigal
(22:12) Working with winter
(28:37) What are my metrics for success?
(32:33) Interplay of light and dark
Resources Referenced:
Waking Up To The Dark by Clark Strand
Irish Pagan School
Connect with Dr. Gertrude 
Learn more on Dr. Gertrude’s website
Follow Dr. Gertrude on Instagram
Stay in the loop and sign up to Dr. Gertrude’s newsletter
Mentioned in this episode:
Learn more about the 2024 Spring Equinox Self-Mothering Retreat at https://www.drgertrudelyons.com/spring-equinox-24

Dr. Gertrude welcomes back Elizabeth Tuazon for another coaching interview as Elizabeth reaches the three months of life milestone with her baby, Lyla Rose. 
As Lyla grows from newborn to infant, Elizabeth shares her process of marking this important transition with a ritual of her own making. The ritual ceremony unfolded organically one new moon weekend among family and included speeches, visualizations, intentions, a bonfire, and an impactful tarot reading. 
As her baby grows, Elizabeth realizes there are many transitions in her life unfolding at once. Now that she’s working again part time, she considers what going back to work full time will be like. Dr. Gertrude and Elizabeth then have a larger conversation about the American cultural need to be doing something and balancing one’s masculine and feminine sides in negotiating just how much one should be doing. 
They lastly discuss the difference between inviting a child into your life and making a child your whole life. The distinction is incredibly meaningful for a parent’s identity and how they behave around their friends when their children are with them, for example. This more expansive and adventurous perspective allows for more possibility and is exactly what Rewrite the Mother Code is all about!
Episode Outline:
(02:40) Three months of life milestone
(04:56) New moon ritual to mark newborn to infant
(17:28) Masculine and feminine feelings around returning to work
(21:22) Becoming a person who likes babies
(24:41) Inviting a child into your life 
(28:43) Projecting inner child stuff onto our kids
(35:00) Learning through sharing
(38:51) Dr. Gertrude’s conclusion: being with feelings
Resources Referenced:
The Fourth Trimester by Kimberly Ann Johnston
Connect with Dr. Gertrude 
Learn more on Dr. Gertrude’s website
Follow Dr. Gertrude on Instagram
Stay in the loop and sign up to Dr. Gertrude’s newsletter
Mentioned in this episode:
Learn more about the 2024 Spring Equinox Self-Mothering Retreat at https://www.drgertrudelyons.com/spring-equinox-24