Mama Knows Nina Caviggiola

If you haven't heard of attachment theory or don't know which attachment type you are start here:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/attachment-theory-toxic-relationships-w-mac-stanley/id1610026077?i=1000633976705.

This week Dr. Morgan helps us anxious attachment girlies (+ guys) feel more secure in our relationship. We cover:

1. Can you do a quick recap on what the attachment styles are, especially anxious attachment?
2. What does self abandonment look like as someone with anxious attachment?
3. Why might someone with anxious attachment abandon themselves and turn to codependency?
4. Why is codependency a bad thing in relationships?
4. How can someone with anxious attachment prevent self abandonment?

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about Dr. Morgan:

Hi, I’m Dr. Morgan
I’m a relationship coach, attachment theory expert, and creator of the E.S.L. Relationship Method. My mission is to help women get off the dating rollercoaster, raise their self-worth, and attract the healthy relationship they’ve always wanted. I created the Empowered.Secure.Loved. Program because I knew women needed a clear path to secure attachment and love that lasts. With the science of attachment theory, data from hundreds of clients, and my own experiences I created a program that transforms you from lonely, to loved.
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Disclaimer: This podcast does not provide any medical advice, it is for informational purposes only!

I am currently trying to not procrastinate right now so this epiosde is coming at the best time. This week Chelsey Newmeyer helps us best utilize our time so we can feel better and accomplish more.

The questions we answered this week:
 
1. I will admit that I can be a procrastinator, how do I unlearn procrastination habits?
2. I feel like I don't have enough time in the day to finish the tasks that need to be completed, let alone, do anything enjoyable/spend time on any hobbies. How can I better organize my day so I don't feel so booked?
3. What is time blocking and how can I implement it in my life?
4. I haven't been feeling very productive lately. What are some tips to being more productive in daily tasks or at work?
5. You helped me have some free time, but now I feel guilty for relaxing and feel like I should be tackling other projects. How do I rest without guilt? 



Chelsey Newmyer is a nerd for all things time management and productivity. After years of reading frustrating productivity advice that didn't match her life, she started her productivity coaching business to help solopreneurs, and 9-5ers maximize their time by getting the personalized productivity systems they need to reach their goals. Chelsey is a Navy spouse and currently lives on Guantanamo Bay Naval Base in Cuba with her husband, son Nolan, and her dog, Leia. When she's not working, she's hanging out with her new baby, drinking lots of coffee, or listening to podcasts while reorganizing something in her house. 
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Mom rage is a topic near and dear to my heart and something I am still working on improving. If you are like me and feel like you are quick to anger and have a short fuse but don't know why or how to mitigate it, this episode is for you.

Questions we addressed in today's interview:

1.  I was personally diagnosed with postpartum mood disorder and rage back in 2021 - do you have any stats or data on approximately how common this is?
2. What brings so many of us moms to rage, when we weren't like this before?
3. Is it my fault I have such a quick temper?
4. How can we get a handle on your rage? i.e. what are some long term things I can do and what are some in the heat of the moment things I can do to cope? 



Erica Djossa is the CEO and founder of Momwell, and a registered psychotherapist specializing in maternal mental health with over a decade of experience. As a mother of three rambunctious young boys, Erica understands first-hand the challenges of motherhood. Perfectionism, pressure, and loss of identity fueled her battle with postpartum depression, and she realized how difficult it is to seek care. She founded Momwell to set a standard of care for providers and ensure mom-centred specialized mental health support at any stage of motherhood. Erica has been featured in media publications including Time Magazine, Washington Post, USA Today, The Toronto Star, Breakfast Television, and Scary Mommy.

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About the Book: 
Moms today are drowning under the weight of labor and expectations, feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and overburdened. They desperately want to feel like they are succeeding, but the impossible standards placed on them leave them feeling burned out and frustrated. Releasing the Mother Load: How To Carry Less and Enjoy Motherhood More is an empowering guidebook that teaches moms how to unlearn intensive mothering expectations and free themselves from the burdens of mental labor. 
“In our search for perfection, we hold ourselves up to impossible standards,” says Djossa. “And when we inevitably fall short of those, we feel like failures. The key is in letting go of what we think we should be and embracing our value as a mom.” 
Based on the teachings through her maternal mental health platform, Momwell, Erica Djossa unpacks the dimensions of cognitive labor—the invisible care work within tasks like soothing babies, navigating tantrums, keeping track of where everything is in the house, and planning for appointments. In Releasing the Mother Load, Djossa invites readers to break free from societal conditioning that demands mothers do it all, and step into a new way of thinking that relieves the weight of unrealistic motherhood expectations and allows them to say no, take on less, and enjoy life more. 
Unlike other resources on the topic of invisible labor, Releasing the Mother Load takes a hard look at th
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I just learned that often times the beliefs and judgments we have about our partners and their actions is a direct reflection of the belief you have about yourself and your own worth stemming from something that happened to you in childhood.

Here are the questions we covered:
1. Women tell me often that their partner's actions and/or habits are really getting to them to the point where they are starting to label their partner as uncaring/inattentive/condescending. Why do we do this and how can this be detrimental to one's marriage?
2. How can I work through these judgements towards my spouse?
3. How can I have a productive conversation with my spouse about my judgments so we can work together?
 


Here is the link to the Developing Deeper Connection Course. 
The coupon code is MAMAKNOWS




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Am I a bad parent if my child is lying or is this totally normal? This week I sit down with Devon Kuntzman of Tranforming Toddlerhood to tackle the topic of lying. We cover:

1. Am I a bad parent if my child is lying or is it normal?
2. When do toddlers often start lying and why?
3. Should I ignore lies or address them?
4. Walk me through what do I do and say when I catch my toddler in a lie? For example: my toddler says he didn't color on the walls but there are stick drawings that weren't from me or the dog. 
5. How can I encourage telling the truth rather than lies in future scenarios?


More about Devon:
Devon Kuntzman, PCC, is the original toddler parenting coach on Instagram and the founder of Transforming Toddlerhood. As a toddler expert, she is on a mission to transform the myth that toddlerhood is terrible. Devon empowers toddler parents to overcome the challenges of toddlerhood, nurture development and create confidence in their skills by being the Confident Leader & Guide through using positive, respectful, and developmentally appropriate parenting tools. 


As a result, Devon has built a community of nearly 1 million parents and caregivers from across the world who are committed to transforming their parenting, their toddler’s behavior, and their overall experience of toddlerhood while creating a foundation for a relationship with their child that lasts a lifetime.


Devon holds a psychology and child development degree and is an ICF-certified coach. Having lived on three continents, Devon has tirelessly supported parents and children as a coach, former high-profile nanny, and director of an orphanage in Rwanda. When she isn’t working with parents, Devon can be found playing with her kiddo, riding her bicycle, or drinking a green juice (sometimes all at the same time!)

http://transformingtoddlerhood.com/
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If you haven't figured out your fight language, make sure you listen to Part 1 with Lena Morgan before listening to this episode! 

Do you feel like your partner's apology isn't resonating with you and that your fights never seem to resolve? You NEED this episode. I highly suggest you listen to this episode with your partner!

1. We figured out our fight language now what?
2. What does repair or apologies look like for each fight language?
3. What do I do or say to my partner if I don't feel fulfilled by their apology?


About Lena:
The biggest gift we can give ourselves is to feel understood. 
Lena Morgan began her career as a midwife and for over a decade she helped people communicate their needs effectively, especially in high stress situations. Pulling from this, she developed the Fight Languages; the transformational conflict solution. The Fight Languages quickly help your conflict and repair become more productive and connected. Her work is helping individuals, partnerships, organizations, and businesses develop more understanding and connection. You can learn more about her work at fightlanguages.com

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Discount code for MamaKnows listeners: 20% off the eBook, through the website fightlanguages.com, with the code mamaknows



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Disclaimer: This podcast does not provide any medical advice, it is for informational purposes only!