Not Allowed Janani Suresh

I hate to admit it, but it's good. Like indulging in a snack that's definitely not good for you, sex with toxic guys is like Mcdonalds at midnight. But it goes deeper than that. Wanting connection is in our nature as human beings, but insecurities are the tricky part of the equation that our animal instincts don't know how to configure. We are taught how to love and be loved, that plays a pivotal role in our sex lives. So when we learn that love is conditional or to be earned, we end up in toxic relationships with mind blowing sex. But are we doomed to be in the loop of toxic relationships? Will I be able to accept healthy relationships with love that is unconditional? And why is the perfect recipe for an orgasm, anxiety and attachment issues? 

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I love New Years because it feels like we all collectively hit the refresh button. And if there's anything I want, it's hitting refresh on the last few months of 2022. Entering this new year wasn't the most exciting time for some of us going through rougher parts of life. Getting fired, being dumped, losing someone - you feel like you're drowning and suddenly it's a new year and you have to figure it out. You desperately want a fresh start but some old wounds are still healing. I'm here to remind you that you *don't* need to figure it all out. What you do need to do, is be less ashamed of where you are, less critical of your desires and more optimistic that you're trying your best. A new year can be a new start, but it can also be a chance to change your perspective and do an inventory of things you're truly grateful for. 

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Welcome to SEASON 3 BABY!! With more real and (hopefully) relatable stories and experiences - in conversation with friends, family and the real people experiencing the world that celebrities aren't. We're kicking off this season with my Leo, bad bitch, 26F friend Veena. We talk all about our dating stories -matching with the same guy, lets call him Mr Pringles, sending 'thank you' messages after sex, being into the tall-skinny-with-glasses boy, and discussing the possibility of considering arranged marriages.  We had so much conversation to cover that THIS IS ONLY PART 1! Stay tuned for Part 2.

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Is it worth risking a friendship to pursue something more? I never really got the people that say that their partner is their best friend. On paper it seems like a good idea to date a friend but to me friendships have a different dynamic. Conversely, could we remain friends with an ex? It's hard to switch relationship dynamics back and forth because feelings are complicated and things get messy. Then of course, there's always that ONE friend you wonder about. The one you have insane chemistry with, palpable sexual tension, you can't stand when they're with someone else - yet it never goes anywhere beyond a friendship. But a part of you always longs for it. If we cross the friendship line, is there any going back? Will it be the most passionate, beautiful love affair? Or do we risk losing both the friendship and the person?

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☼ Janani - https://www.instagram.com/itsjanani/

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Why do we feel like a failure when we aren't in a relationship or haven't found the 'one'. We have put traditional monogamous relationship structures on a pedestal and failed to give credit to new relationship structures that might actually work for us and our modern lives. Entering the dating world, expecting to find the ONE just sends us on a spiral of constant disappointments and slowly shattering our self esteem. But what if for a change, we didn't see ourselves as failures. Is it possible to re-wire our outlook on what kind of relationships work for us? What kind of partners we're subconsciously attracting? And how traditional relationship structures could be a trap people are stuck in, but find it hard to get out of because society rewards them for being in it.

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Quitting a job is not always easy, the mental exhaustion of the decision, taking the step that's right for you and disrupting a cushy stable routine. It's not easy but it is something we all have done or will do at some point. Our jobs and careers can be strongly tied to our self worth and sense of purpose in this world. Quitting can therefore feel like a failure, when in reality it is an opportunity. An opportunity to re-asses, re-build and get on the path that was meant for us instead of the path we 'think' we should be on. 

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