Pairadocs Dr. Jimmy Myers and Dr. Josh Myers and Christian Parenting

Well, this week the guys wrap up their discussion of the Four Horsemen of the Marriage Apocalypse with the dreaded In Laws!  How should couples manage this minefield of family tension?  And not only are the guys ending this series this week, sadly, Josh and Jimmy are ending their run as the Pairadocs.  This will be the boys last show.  Sad, but exciting.  Listen in and find out why.  BTW, all of you guys are the best!  We love you.




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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers
  
Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast
 
How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast
  
The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

So, are you ready to meet the 3rd Horseman of the Marriage Apocalypse?  Couple's fight about this one all the time!  This topic reeks of power and security, therefore, it's a source for, all but constant, conflict.  The topic?  MONEY!  "Sooooo, let's get ready to RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers  
Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast
How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast
The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Last week, the guys kicked off a discussion of the Four Horsemen of the Marriage Apocalypse.  The first was sex, and this week they will examine the all too hot topic of THE KIDS.  Most couples tend not to be on the exact same page when it comes to discipline, expectations, and priorities when it comes to their kids, so...arguments tend to ensue.  If this sounds like you, don't miss this week's episode!  
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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers
Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast 
How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast
The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

You know it coming and you dread it like the plague, but at some point, in every family there comes the need to have “The Sex Talk.”  In this case, however, we’re not talking about the sex discussion with you kids.  This week, the guys delve into the sex talk that every couple needs to have and keep having to address one of the Four Horsemen of the Marriage Apocalypse.   
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PROBLEM:
Carries more baggage than a 747.  Mention any possible negative and it can be interpreted as a very intimate, personal criticism We don’t talk about our sexual relationship.  Only might be mentioned when something is wrong.   As a rule, sex is the “unmentionable” in 99% of Christian homes Take any other “mutual” activity that a couple engages in, there is discussion about it.  Cooking, exercise, entertainment…  The assumption is that if we’re married, we should simply know what to do and how to do it.  And if things aren’t great, then we suffer in silence, because, “We shouldn’t have to say anything.” SOLUTION:
The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Cor. 7:3–5) Each spouse’s body belongs to the other, and a primary function of sex is to serve and bless each other. The ethic that runs throughout the New Testament applies to sex in marriage: we are to selflessly serve, thinking of the other first.
Love is putting someone else’s needs above your own.  Sex is a physical manifestation of spiritual and emotional love between a husband and wife. TALK: If we don’t tell our spouse, they won’t know.  Any time we don’t talk it is out of fear or frustration.  Spouse’s shouldn’t fear their partner’s response. Past sexual history and sin, needs to be discussed, learned from, and not avoided Frequency, duration, & arousal all are impacted as you pass through life stages. Talk about having the talk.  Don’t surprise them with it. Make suggestions; not complaints   -----
Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers
Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast
How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast 
The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Have you or your spouse ever said something along the lines of, “We argue over little things.”, or “None of our arguments ever get resolved.”  If you have, then you have fallen headfirst into the Argument Black Hole.  Join them this week, as the guys talk about the biggest mistake couples make when they have a disagreement.
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PROBLEM:
Arguing over facts Arguing over who’s reality is correct Winning is more important than solving the problem My Side Bias skews facts Memories are NOT accurate recordings of events.  Research suggests that that we remember what we WANT to believe happened SOLUTION:
Realize that the argument is not about the facts The event is the surface problem to a root cause Chose the hill you will die on Must be able to agree to disagree -----
Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers
Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast 
How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast
The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Perfectionism.  Most would agree that this personality trait is not great.  BUT, if you are a perfectionist, you secretly, sort of, like being this way.  It’s kind of like being a “workaholic.”  We say we don’t like that aspect of our lives yet are inwardly proud of how much we can accomplish.  Perfectionism is, not only, bad for us as an individual, but can be devastating in our home.  
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PROBLEM:
See it in: Kids- upset if not perfect, performance anxiety Mom/Wives- Clean house, fixation on kid’s performance, behavior, and dress, can’t leave work at work Dad/Husbands- How things look, Sports, irritation as substandard behavior/dress… Hold double standard You're constantly evaluating yourself, and not living up to who you believe you could be. This induces shame.  Procrastination can simply be thought of as insecure perfectionism on steroids.  SOLUTION:
To want something is good.  To NEED it is not good. Embrace and sit in uncomfortable, unpleasant emotions By grace saved, not of good works Acknowledge it. What is driving this?  What core belief? Anti-anxiety tool is “Worst case” scenario  Adjust your standards to just be “good enough.” -----
Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers
Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast 
How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast
The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com