Sam and Erica's Marriage Podcast Samuel Watson, Erica Watson

Meeting your Spouse’s Emotional Needs in Your Marriage Part 3 (Intimate Conversation & Physical Attractiveness)
 Episode 015
June 25, 2019 
Introduction 
Welcome 
Subscribe 
The 3rd part of our series on Meeting my Spouse’s Emotional needs. Intimate Conversation & Physical Attractiveness 
Discussion 
     Erica: How we arrived at this topic- Share the conversation we had with the girls. (See episode 13) 
Get dialogue going between husband and wife if nothing else
Recap See episode 13 for details 
 Questionnaire to identify your emotional need 
Scripture: 
Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
What are my emotional needs? Intimate Conversation (Erica talks about this) #2 most important Emotional need for women.
 
First emotional need met in an affair (Willard F. Harley) 
Intimacy ( PKJ- Into me I ALLOW you to see) 
How am I doing?
How am I feeling? 
What do I think? 
Ryan’s question 
Dating vs Married Conversations 
Dating getting to know each other from the beginning 
Married continuing to get to know other (lifelong journey) 
Date night conversations 
We have different reasons for talking 
Men talk to relay information-head to head (example- sports stats)
Women talk to connect-heart to heart (I’m feeling this way)
Women are eager to share with other men the problems they are having in the relationship 
Give her a reason to want to talk to you 
Reasons he won’t talk to me 
Nagging Prov 27:15 “A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm;”
Critical 
Monopolize Conversation 
Conversation Volly 
Practical ways to meet your spouse’s emotional need for Intimate Conversation 
 
Physical Attractiveness (Sam talks about this)
People with this need want their spouse to be hot
To be physically attractive
 
Some men (people) could care less...they have other emotional needs that are much more important.
Its not about looking like someone else but being the best, sexiest, healthiest, hottest version of you.
Love me as I am!
To a person that has this emotional need those are fighting words
Physical Attractiveness seems like a trivial need...unless it yours (But they all do to someone that doesn’t have them)
A person with this need takes it personally when its met and personally when its not.
A good indicator that this may be high on your spouse’s list is if they put a lot of energy into their appearance.

The Bible speaks of fitness 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

 
Practical ways to meet your spouse’s need of Physical Attractiveness

Meeting your Spouse’s Emotional Needs in Your Marriage Part 2 (Affection & Sexual Fulfillment)
Episode 014
June 17, 2019
Introduction
Welcome
Subscribe
The 2nd part of our series on Meeting my Spouse’s Emotional needs. Affection and Sexual Fulfillment
Discussion
    Erica: How we arrived at this topic- Share the conversation we had with the girls. ( See episode 13)
Get dialogue going between husband and wife if nothing else
Recap See episode 13 for details
Questionnaire to identify your emotional need
 
What are my emotional needs? QuestionnaireAffection (Erica talks about this) As it turns out this is my #1 need Scripture ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:10‬ ‭“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”‬‬
Non sexual way of showing he cares
Makes us feel like we are the most important person to you
 
Things you used to do before you were married
Men were not raised to show affection
Tell him what you like
Practical ways to meet your spouses emotional need for Affection
 
Sexual Fulfillment (Sam talks about this)
The misunderstanding
Sex is as important to a man is as affection is to a woman and vise vera but we dont get it.
Drive
Testosterone makes it a biological thing
Sexual Awareness
Men, most while their still boys, discover their sexuallity early and therefore usually bring more understanding of how to have a pleasurable sexual experience into a marriage.
 
Motivation
That sexdrive, the pleasure and the connection all motivate a man for women its a lot less biological and much more about intimacy and the emotional connection
Practical ways to meet your spouse’s need of Sexual Fulfillment
 
How do I feel/respond if my needs are not being met?Resentment
Frustration- only restaurant - 1 Corinthians 7:5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Anger (“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”) “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,”‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:26‬
Insecure
Withdraw
Lonely

What happens in my marriage if my needs are not being met?
Disconnect/Drift
Affairs/Temptation
Lashing out James 3:6 “The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

ACTION ITEMS
Pray for our podcast/marriage-we are praying for you.
Don’t forget to subscribe.
Share the podcast with two other people.
Now that you have a better idea of what your spouse’s emotional needs are try to focus on meeting his/her # 1 need this week. It may be awkward at first but so was that first date. Give each other grace as you exercise this muscle. You can do it!
RESOURCES
 
Bible
His Needs, Her Needs- Building an Affair Proof Marriage Willard F. Harley, Jr.
https://amzn.to/30TX9xc
 
For Married Men Only- Dr. Tony Evans
https://amzn.to/31016k3
 
For Married Women Only-Dr. Tony Evans
https://amzn.to/2QGP4Ht

Meeting your Spouse’s Emotional Needs in Your Marriage: Part 1
Episode 013
June 3, 2019
Introduction
Welcome
Subscribe
Multi part series on Meeting my Spouse’s Emotional needs.
Discussion
    How we arrived at this topic- Share the conversation we had with the girls.  Share experience with the book in the past and how we landed on reading the book a second time.
Introduction to book in small group season at our church
We are afraid to be honest with our spouse for fear of response (spouse/culture)Erica’s response to Sam’s need
Sam’s response to Erica’s need
Get dialogue going between husband and wife if nothing else
We have to understand the needs that are marital related and the ones that are rooted in childhood issues.  i.e needs not met by an absentee father/abusive mother, seek professional help if necessary.
What are my emotional needs?
Identify what my emotional needs are?
Is it unrealistic for me to expect my spouse to meet my emotional needs?
How do I feel/respond if they are not being met?
What happens in my marriage if they are not being met?
How do I feel/respond when they are being met?
What happens in my marriage if they are being met?
How do I let my spouse know what they are?
What should we do with this information?
 
Identify what my emotional needs are? (listed in no order)
Answer the questions on the questionnaire (Sam introduce the easy way to figure it out)
 
Affection
Sexual Fulfillment
Intimate Conversation
Recreational Companionship
Honesty and Openness
Physical Attractiveness
Financial Support
Domestic Support
Family Commitment
Admiration
 
Be honest with yourselfWe may not understand our own needs
Don’t just focus on the ones not being met
Don’t be ashamed of your emotional needsYour need is your need
ACTION ITEMS
Pray for our podcast/marriage-we are praying for you.
Don’t forget to subscribe.
Share the podcast with two other people.
Take some time and talk through your emotional needs with your spouse. ??
RESOURCES
 
Bible
 
Emotional needs questionnaire:
https://www.marriagebuilders.com/emotional-needs-questionnaire.htm
 
His Needs, Her Needs- Building an Affair Proof Marriage Willard F. Harley, Jr.
https://amzn.to/30TX9xc
 
For Married Men Only- Dr. Tony Evans
https://amzn.to/31016k3
 
For Married Women Only-Dr. Tony Evans
https://amzn.to/2QGP4Ht

 
Sam and Erica's Marriage podcast
Seasons in Your Marriage Part 4 of 4: Seasons - When Your Marriage is in Fall
Episode 012
May 27, 2019
Introduction
Welcome
Subscribe.
Part 4 of our 4 part series on Seasons In Your Marriage “When Your Marriage is in Fall”
What is fall in a marriage?
Seasons teach us about God and can teach us things about marriage?
What fall is?
What fall is not?
So what do we do now that we know?
Psalm 74:17 It was you who set all the boundaries of the earth; you made both summer and winter.
Seasons are natural laws that further reveal truths about God and His creation
 
He shows us things that apply to all of creation
Natural lawsYou reap what you sow
You always reap more than you sowWe can add
God Multiplies
You always reap in like kindHarvest of plenty
Harvest of lack
We don’t reap in the same season that we sowPatience
You can’t change this year’s harvestYou can learn from it though
Insanity
How do seasons apply to marriageThere are different things that we should be doing in each season‭‭
Seasons are connectedHappens in this season impact a future season
Seasons are temporary
Gen 8:22 "As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease."
What fall is
The season to harvestFinally, you get to reap all that you’ve sown
Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
A busy seasonlabor intensive
Season of preparation Proverbs‬ ‭31:21‬ ‭NIV‬‬“When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.”
A season of beauty
Season of calmness
Ecclesiastes 3:4 “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,”‭‭1. Fall is a time to work and a time celebrate
Our next season or two are often tied to the success of the harvestCultivating in summer helps a builds a healthy harvest
It’s the season in your marriage when your plans have matured (become full grown)
Fall is the first season to enjoy, things you’ve planted in a previous season
What fall is not
The time to restWe have work to do
The season for planning or changing your plans

scripture ?***James‬ ‭5:7‬ ‭? “Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains.”‭‭
What then should we do in Fall
Mark‬ ‭12:30-31‬ ‭NIV‬‬“ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.””‭‭
Enjoy the fruit
Maximize time togetherDating
Mini-getaways
Finish strong!
Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
Celebrate the increase God has blessed you with!
ACTION ITEMS
Pray for our podcast-we are praying for you.
Don’t forget to subscribe.
Share the podcast with two other people.
Tune in for our next series on successfully meeting those emotional needs. Leave a voicemail or comment on whatever platform you listen to the podcast. We are eager to hear from you.
NEXT EPISODE
A day in the life of Sam and Erica’s Marriage. Meeting those emotional needs. Oh boy!!

Sam and Erica's Marriage podcast
Seasons in Your Marriage Part 3 of 4: Seasons - When Your Marriage is in Summer
Episode 011
April 1, 2019
Introduction
Welcome
Good to be back! We were on our getaway.
Part 3 of our 4 part series on Seasons In Your Marriage “When Your Marriage is in Summer”
Discussion
What is summer in a marriage?
How do seasons relate to marriage?
What summer is?
What summer is not?
So what do we do now that we know?
 
Seasons are natural laws that further reveal truths about God and His creationHe demonstrates His sovereigntyWe can’t make a season change. Only God can!
Make the most of each season, because when it’s over it’s over.
Psalm 74:17 It was you who set all the boundaries of the earth; you made both summer and winter.
How do seasons apply to marriageThere are different things that we should be doing in each season
Seasons are temporary.
Our experiences happen in and out of season not the other way around.A person might describe 3 tough years in their marriage as one long season when in fact during those 3 years that person actually had a tough time that spanned 12 full seasons.
Gen 8:22 "As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease."
What summer is
The growing season
A great season for activity, recreation and hanging out. Ecclesiastes 3:4 “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,”‭‭1. Opposite of winter Noisy
Energized
A time for shepherding and cultivating
Lots of fruit ripens in summerExpect to begin to enjoy, for the first time, things you’ve planted in a previous season
 
Season for lovers Romance
Popular season for weddings
Gratitude “What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness?” -John Steinbeck.
What summer is not
A season of perfection It rains
Cool nights
Grass turns brown
The primary season to harvest
Things that we’ve planted are growing but not quite ready for harvest
We have to be patient and not try to harvest too soon.
scripture ?***James‬ ‭5:7‬ ‭? “Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains.”‭‭
What then should we do in Summer
Make the best of the time together
Take time to rest in this busy season-Harvest season is coming
Have fun!
ACTION ITEMS
Pray for our podcast-we are praying for you.
Don’t forget to subscribe.
Share the podcast with two other people.
Take some time throughout this month and pay attention to which season your marriage is in. Let us know how it goes. Leave a voicemail or comment on whatever platform you listen to the podcast. We are eager to hear from you.
RESOURCES

NEXT EPISODE
Next we dig a little deeper into the different “seasons” of marriage.

Sam and Erica's Marriage podcast
Seasons in Your Marriage Part 2 of 4: Seasons - When Your Marriage is in Spring
Episode 010
March 4, 2019
Introduction
Welcome
Subscribe...it’s free!
Part 1 of our 4 part series on Seasons In Your Marriage “When Your Marriage is in Spring”
Discussion
What is spring in a marriage?
How do seasons relate to marriage?
What spring is?
What spring is not?
So what do we do now that we know?
 
Seasons are natural laws that further reveal truths about God and His creation
He demonstrates His sovereignty
We can’t make a season change. Only God can!
Spring always follows winter


How do seasons apply to marriage
There are different things that we should be doing in each season
Seasons are temporary.
Our experiences happen in and out of season not the other way around.
A person might describe 3 tough years in their marriage as one long season when in fact during those 3 years that person actually had a tough time that spanned 12 full seasons.


Gen 8:22 "As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease."
What spring is
A time when things begin to grow
A time when there’s new energy and vitality
A time for prime time for planting
Starting something new

Gal 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.
Spring is the season when we’re most optimistic and hopeful.
Spring is the time when we begin acting on those things we planned in winter.
What spring is not
A time for reaping
We tend to have unreasonable expectations for spring

The season to chill (that winter)
Spring is about working
There is no better time to plant seeds than spring

Pro 31:21 NIV When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
What then should we do in spring
Plant those things that want to harvest in future seasons
When you’re in a bad season you have to remember to plant good seed
Celebrate surviving the winter
Get and stay active
ACTION ITEMS
Pray for our podcast-we are praying for you.
Don’t forget to subscribe.
Share the podcast with two other people.
Take some time throughout this month and pay attention to which season your marriage is in. Let us know how it goes. Leave a voicemail or comment on whatever platform you listen to the podcast. We are eager to hear from you.
RESOURCES
Recreational Enjoyment Inventory from His Needs, Her Needs
Recreational Enjoyment Inventory
 
His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr.
His Needs, Her Needs on Amazon
Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
Love & Respect on Amazon
 
A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Douglas E. Rosenau
A Celebration of Sex on Amazon
 
NEXT EPISODE
Next we dig a little deeper into the different “seasons” of marriage.