A comedy podcast to help better understand humanity and also to make fart jokes.
#413: My 2020 Year In Review Part 7 of 7 - Resolutions and Goals for 2021 - Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank podcast -
I try to do these public resolutions every year. That way I'm more likely to stand by them. Everybody should make resolutions. They're not lame. They're goals. It's important to verbalize where you want to go this year and what you want to do. These are the goals of me, Ari Shaffir. Please leave in the comments your own goals. Maybe we can steal some of each other's.
Here are mine in no order:
Read two books Finish writing my book Make a standup special for someone Go to 2 new countries (maybe 3) 100,000 YouTube subscribers 3,000 Patreon subscribers Reach out to comics going through public trouble Remember the great parts of 2020 Please sign up for My Patreon. Not many more till I start my follow up on there to each Skeptic Tank and answer any questions the patrons have about the episode. I get how frustrating I can be with my half finished stories and questions I forgot to ask. This'll be your chance to hold me accountable. And starting today, there's exclusive merch on there available on to the Patrons and nobody else.
Thank you to our sponsor, hammocks. Hammocks are like sleeping on air. They're the most comfortable place to take a nap and they make you look like a boss. Hammocks: for when you want to read only 2 pages of your book before you fall asleep.
Reginald Omas Mamode IV - In Search of Balance
I really love this song. Nothing more to say about it. I don't know much about the artist. But at very minimum the guy nailed it at least one time, which most artists never get to.
#413: Year In Review (6 of 7) - Leaving America - Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank podcast
With the winter approaching, and the threat of lockdowns looming, I decided to leave the country to do some exploring. Ari Shaffir loves to travel. And what a better time than now. It's scary to do, but once I made the decision it became a lot easier. This episode of My 2020 Year In Review podcast breaks down why I decided to hit the road, how I chose where I would go, and what things are like where I went. My first week was scary, just like every time I travel. But then I settled in and figured out all the best places to get food poisoning, how to properly wrap up pooped-on toilet paper for the garbage since you're not allowed to flush it here, and the process of finding weed. This runs all the way through December 31 and the most unique New Year's celebration I've ever taken part in.
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Thank you to our sponsor, $3 meals. At $3 meals you won't believe how much food they give you for $3. A soup, main course with side and tiny salad, sensible sized desert, and a big fresh fruit juice. It's nuts. You expect it to be like $15-$20 but then when you ask for la cuenta and they hit you with that $6 para dos people you're like, "whaaaaaaaat?" And they're available all over the country. Pretty much any time you get a lunch by the side of the road, that's what you're getting. I love it here.
And our other sponsor, Terrible Internet. With terrible internet, it becomes nearly impossible to plan podcasts. Terrible internet is available all over this country. You don't even have to seek it out. It'll find you. And remember, when your AirBnB host says the internet is "really good." they mean it's really good in relation to the rest of the country, which means it's terrible. And if you get terrible internet, make sure to use promo code: "bang on the desk in anger till your hand breaks every time you lose the signal in the middle of a damn 6th and Jump podcast" for nothing off your order. Terrible Internet; it'll make you appreciate America.
James Brown - Let’s Make This Christmas Mean Something This Year (Parts 1 and 2)
I listened to James Brown's Christmas album on Christmas day in Cuenca. Super underrated album. I had a tree for only the second time in my life. With a mask I burnt on New Year's Eve on top of the tree like it was a star. Stockings behind it. And I was playing cards, drinking a hot cinnamon drink called canelazo, my dog there, hanging out in a town in the Andes. And when that chorus came on talking about "Let's... Make Christmas... Mean something... This year," I just felt so happy. Like, yeah man. I am making it mean something this year. And let's all make it mean something next year, too. How about it?
#413 My 2020 Year In Review 5/7 - The Skanks Election - Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank Legion of Skanks Luis Gomez Big Jay Oakerson Dave Smith Shane Gillis Zac Amico Joe Derosa No More Weeks
I almost forgot about the election that saved comedy. Not the presidential election. No, that doesn't really matter. We're still gonna be at war with 7 countries and watch the rich get richer and the poor get poorer regardless of who won that. I'm talking about the Legion of Skanks election. I decided to run for the president of someone else's podcast.
I'm Ari Shaffir, and I stand for Mayhem.
Every week, I would offer a different sacrifice at the alter of comedy. And in return, the gods of laughs rewarded me with the highest office in the land. During this recap, I didn't even remember some of the best stuff that happened. There was way more about this than I remembered while avoiding sheep poop. I forgot making Derosa wait downstairs in the sweaty basement just to get betrayed like a chump when he came upstairs. I forgot getting the best celebrity endorsements and then getting Big Jay's family and Luis's son to endorse me. Dave Smith's jerk of a daughter refused to betray him. I forgot the lie detector. I forgot hosting the debates and my announcement that I'd be running. I think I even forgot that I wore a different suit all 8 times I came on. If you want to watch the recap of the Skanks election, there's a 2 hour video about it here that I'll link to on the YouTube video of this podcast. I'll put a box link to it at the end of the video.
Thank you to our sponsor: Dan Soder. Because of the generous contributions made by the Soder Superpac, I, Ari Shaffir, was able to win the most important election of our lifetime. The Soder Superpac; sponsoring winners in NY and beating up losers in PA since before Jesus.
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I'm Ari Shaffir. And I stand, for mayhem.
Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen - No One Tells The President What To Do
#413: My 2020 Year In Review 4/7 - Best Summer Ever
In part 4 of My 2020 Year in Review podcast, I talk about returning to New York City. I am standup comedian Ari Shaffir. And I'm only a standup comedian while I'm doing standup comedy. Otherwise, I'm just the internet's greatest yogi. Things in New York were starting to open up again. So I made my return. And what a great decision that was. New York was ALIVE. People were drinking in the streets. All our comedian friends were hanging out. They say crime was up, and if crime includes drug use, then yeah, my crime was WAAAAY up. Molly flowed. Booze flowed. Weed flowed. The cokeheads and the potheads came to terms with each other and met in the middle at the bar. Everybody was happy. And standup was the coolest it's been in decades. Comics were responding to things. Not just doing well written jokes about nothing. Now we had BLM, Covid, the elections, Ellen, and so much more to talk about. It felt important. I loved it! We all gotta figure out a way to hold onto the good parts of this summer when next summer rolls around.
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Thank you to our sponsor, walktails. It's like a capri sun pouch full of booze. Imagine a pouch of margarita to go. Yeah. And they were available at just about every bar in Manhattan and Brooklyn. Walktails. I didn't invent the word, but I love the word. Eventually they made the bars serve food with them so bars would give you chips or a half a bologna sandwich or even a single tortilla. I barfed outside so many times!
Pinc Louds - Shake It
The Pinc Louds are the spirit of creativity in New York. They are a fake band and they are at the forefront of a movement to steal the city back from the rich and make New York cool again. You should see them live. You can listen online until you get that chance, but once you get that chance, take it. Claudi is a busker. And busker's play. And the Pinc Louds play well. And they play loud. And they bring the party. Get a tall boy and come hang. Check the Pinc Louds instagram to see when they're playing next and then get on a bike and make your way over.
#413 My Year In Review 3/7 - Moving Into My Parents' Basement
Covid changed a lot for a lot of people. Bezos is killing it more than ever. And whoever owns Purell. But for the rest of us things went off the rails. With the March lockdown looming, standup comedian and yoga guru Ari Shaffir decided to take his dog and go live with his parents out in the suburbs.
In part 3 of my 2020 Year in Review podcast, I talk about living with my parents. My NYC apartment didn't seem like the best place to be forced to stay inside all day. So I left the city I love to have a unique and lovely time with my mom and dad. To get to hang out with your mother and father for that amount of time, as an adult, is an experience I'll never get to have again and I'm eternally thankful to that bat dude in China for making it happen.
My dog loved it, too. All she did all day was figure out ways to escape the yard and run into the woods to chase deer. While my friends were busy signing hundred million dollar deals, I was busy nailing mesh fencing to trees. Wouldn't trade places. And I pondered that every afternoon, drinking wine on the deck while watching the sunset with my mom.
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Thank you to our sponsor, rosay. Rosay. For when you're too old to party but you still want to catch a buzz in the burbs, think rosay. It's the wine you're afraid to admit you love.
And our other sponsor, Outfield Fencing. When you want to keep your dog in the yard until the moment you go inside for 2 freaking minutes to go pee, think outfield fencing. It's strong, totally destructible if your dog chews on it a little bit or a deer runs into it, and easy to run under. Outfield fencing. It's really just for baseball.
Big Freedia - Rona Rona
If you don't know Big Freedia, you're missing out. You can pretty much play any 10 of her songs in a row and you've got an instant dance party. She's the queen of bounce, the diva of dance, the shake it up shaman, and the party princess. Go look her up. Tell her to come on the podcast to talk about the history of New Orleans Bounce.
#413: My 2020 Year In Review 2/7 - Troll of the Year
Troll of the Year. On part 2 of My 2020 Year in Review podcast I talk about how I brought a city to its knees. With a few expertly timed and crafted words I made Los Angeles crumble. It was hilarious. Even the comedy world wasn’t immune from my power. While most standups laughed and were tremendously supportive, a few comedians fell to my power. Some who had previously held that jokes were always just jokes, for the first time in their lives took the side of the censors. They had never been so expertly triggered before and they lost their minds. And we all laughed at them. It was one my greatest trolls, if not my greatest. It made hypocrites out of the mighty and showed the world how much they overvalued the lives of celebrities. Their anger was my applause. Their threats of violence were my standing ovation. I am God.
Distillers - City of Angels
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