| L E G E N D S . ‪|‬ Dillon Francis

What the FUCK did you DO?

What did I do?!
You know what you did!

I didn't do anything!

Oh yeah?

No! Not on purpose!

GODDAMMIT, YOU SON OF A—

Where's Jimmy Fallon?!

What?! I don't know!

Oh no.
Oh shit, run.

Oh no.
What in the FUCK—
I am “the fuck”

You know what.
I'm gonna sue the everliving shit out of you.

For WHAT.

We'll see.

Fuck.
Uh oh.

FUCK.

What now?

What this time?

Apparently, Jimmy Fallon is missing.

What the fuck does that got to do with me.

We'll see.

Okay, great,
Now finish that chapter.

What fucking chapter?!

All of it.

That's—a lot.
I want all of it. By my desk, by noon tomorrow.

“By” your desk?!
Yes, BY. Not ON. I've got too much stuff on my desk—

…but it's…like 9 o clock.

Should be easy, given your natural talents.

What natural talents.

PEACOCK.

AHAHAHAHA.

Okay. Well.

Well what.

This sucks. I lost all my coins.

Hey.

Ugh.

You dropped this.

So how was Los Angeles.

What the fuck. You fucking DICK.

I told you, I own shares in this.

So what's the plan for this, exactly.

I dunno, Harry.
I got a book of stamps,
And a yellow envelope marked
“Jimmy Fallon”

I will hate you forever.

Well, that's retarded.
I haven't even smited you yet.

I will annihilate you, human.
WHERE'S MY SHIT.

Who the fuck are you, anyway?

Nobody!

No one.

No one cares about this series, yo.
I'l seriously doubt that, Jesse Pinkman.

What is this stuff.

It's your stuff.

This is not what I ordered—
Hey—
Why is it BLUE
Cause it is.

So.

WHY IN THE—
Mischief managed.

Alright. This should be good for the night, but we gotta get out of here by morning;

I thought your parents owned this place.

It's a time share!

So?

So it's like only —part of the time.

That is stupid.

No! You're stupid! You're the one who got us into this mess.

It's your mess, I was just cleaning it up!

Whatever! Stop trippin.

Nobody's “tripping.”

That's it. I'll be a stripper.

Straight outta hell, that kid.

Don't I know it.

Alright, fine.

I said, whatever you do—
DONT watch this show.

Stuff it, J. Slatts. I'll kill you with my eyeballs

Sounds like a threat.

Put on a lawsuit, then.

Maybe I oughtta…

—with a bow tie.
You'll look so pretty.

I thought I was already pretty.
Uh huh.

Yeah, look, so honestly
I don't know if I'll ever be on the same vibration as like,
Jimmy Fallon and them, ok?
I don't know how I did it;
I don't know what did it,
It just happened and then—

And then WHAT.

It just—ended.

Just like that.
I'm not trying to offend anybody here.
Just like that.

Now, I ask:
What are we going to do to sell you this dream?

Doesnt matter what you do, I'll never believe it.

Sure, fine; Don't believe it—
We're gonna make you live it.

Who the hell us “we” anyway?
Now you're speaking in my cadence—
Don't flatter yourself
I like it.
Too late, I guess.

So, you see
We're building
Power triangles
And
love squares
Power triangles
And love squares

Don't let it scare you,
There's love there
Don't let it scare you,
There's love there
Never fear where love has dared
To call you up there

Corrupt file—no fair.

Don't be suprised even the odds seem to turn in your favor,
I promise you;
Nobody's ever ready
For what has just happened here.

WAKE UP, F****R.
Ugh, I can't go through this again.

So, I guess I'll have to erase,
Or just secretly publish
Everything I've ever written
About my actual experience as a color,
Just so that I can earn money
As anything other than
A slave—
A maid,
A housekeeper,
A dog walker
Or servitor
So far under her,
That I can't see far enough up to just
Scratch the surface
Her birthright:
The entire network
And mine,
To sit under her,
Wondering what the world would be like
At the other end of the spectrum
The word form of

I gotta find that pilot I wrote for—

MAYA RUDOLPH

FOUND IT.

Oh, My God

Is it Esha in this scene?

I can't remember if it's Esha or the nanny.

Did he not fuck the therapist?

I mean, that's later.

Is it?

I guess.

Continuity.

Whatever.
.
JIMMY FALLON, YOU PATHETIC, BLASPHEMOUS BASTARD.

SAY MY NAME ONE MORE TIME. GO AHEAD.

do it.
You can't say shit to me.
Almost nothing.

I was almost asleep.

Fuck it up, Jimmy.

You know, you could get like,
Straight A's this semester if you just

Listen to me.

Focus.

Fuck this.
FUCK THIS.

OK, FUCK THIS MACHINE.

He puts a quarter in,
Turns the corner at around four o clock.
Takes metformin for supper.

Supplements, supplements.
Nothin.

Oh, you wanted this to happen.

I purchased this collection of poetry off the black market.
For what.

It's a machine, JImmy.

JIMENY CRIKET
Christ almighty

Wait.
Wait a second,
Go back.

To which part.

TO this day

“she's polite”

I know this, she'll find me in here somewhere.
I know this.

Just let it go.
No, she'll find us.

You're living a lie.

This is why you're behind in this race.

Well, it's a race war, isn't it?
You started this?

Look what I did.

I bought you christmas presents.

I'm pretty sure i'm not even allowed to celebrate it.

HEATHENS.

Correct this behavior.

See the reasons behind them, first, before you cast judgements.

Set the trap, she'll fall for this.

She needs these things.

All this stuff was stolen.

You think.

You think too much.

You think too little of this organization.

Because, Jimmy, i'm above it

You know, this could be the reason you lose at this.
I don't care anymore if I lose at this,
As long as somebody wins.

This is it, Jim.
I guess so.

Let her rip.

Let him have it.

FIGHT.

How's this gonna work, if I fight to WIn.
It's a fight to the DEATH?
This is a fight to the DEATH.

…Johnny Depp is here.
Let him in.

How many is that?
At least 10.

What did she give to you, for this?

SIR JYRE
Medicine.

Tina Fey
Amy Peohler or however you spell it
Maya Rudolph
Ratchel Dratch
Kristen Wiig
Kristen Shaal
Melissa Mccarthy - might be the only non-SNL member
The Cosmic Avenger

Damn. That dude lost his whole name.

He lost everything.

So Wait, that's Eight.
Yep.

Who are the other two?
Gimmie the pop tart movie

Fir what.

To laugh. I want to laugh.

YEE

hehe

I ANT

Weird shirtless overall pictures—-

wtf is THIS.

MAYA
Ok, check this out.

God, this is hideous.

I think we might be related.

Alright guys, I found it!

Yes!
Finally!

The problem is—
When I got there

*sniffs*
FALLON.

—Fallon had already been there.

Ah,Christ.

How does he do that?

By the power of CHRIST, I compel you!!!

Oh shit, he is good at this.

Uh, I gotta get going.

Look, I'm gonna need some time.
Alright.

Just tell me, you'll consider this.

Ok—my son.

And please—

Your secret is safe with me.

God.

Hm.

We need your help.

I'm “the help”

“Father Knows Best”

You know you're going to Hell for this.

I do come home sometimes.

Great, she missed it.

Oh shit.
Yep.

And you're gonna—
I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I want, with whoever the fuck I want.

Why is there still deadmau5 in this—
What's this.
Pudding

No, this is

This is a really long episode of whatever it is, shutthefuck

Uh oh.

You know, we can't do this.

There is absolutely nothing you cannot do.
Absolutely nothing.

Ok. You guys are all in here—
—Somewhere.

Yay!
Yes!
Elevatorsz!


Except you.

What.

Stay out.

WHAT.

Actually, you know what?
What?
Move.

He switched me seats.



Uh…
Okay—now get the fuck out.

FUCK.

Meanwhile:

Bad news dude.

Aww. What's up.

Your dick still sucks.

WHAT.

Sorry, bros. I tried.

So did I!

It was bad. Maybe worse than before.

I've been celibate for too long.

You know how I know?

Shits getting weird.

There's babies everywhere,

My heart is literally on fire—

All the time—

And guess what else?

I found out this weird trick—
On complete accident.

I actually found out that men are like real life good pussy detectors.

Like, they have a sensor, or something.

You know how I found this out?

By complete accident.

I promise, it was an accident.

I was doing kiegels on the train—

You know— like little—

Pussy workouts—

You know, you like. Clench real tight, and then release?

Yeah.

Anyway,

So I was clenching my p***y real tight, right.
On the train.

And like six dudes were like

**snifs, looking around**

-_1

“Where is it?”

And I was like

“Uh oh!”
Oh no!

But I thought to myself—

No, that was strange,
That couldn't have really—no wait-/
So I did it again,
And even more dudes were like

“YO, WH—“

“WHAT?” *snifs* what.

And that's when I found out

“that's—wow. You know what? I should not be clenching my pussy like that on the train”

And then,
Of course,
I'm doubting myself, I'm like—

No way! That's ridiculous— so I thought

Maybe one more—expression—one more kiegel, ought to do the trick.

So I did it again, one more time—

And all the dudes were like

“”Whaaaaat is that?!l
“What is going on”

But this one dude, big black guy—
Got this like sense of clarity,
Whipped his head around at me,
And luckily I was wearing sunglasses but,
Looked dead at me like

“ITS YOU.”

And I was like
Yep.
You know what?

I shouldn't even have this pussy on the train like this.
I'm a just—

I just got off the train.

I don't even think it was my stop.

I was just like—

EXIT.

No more pussy on the train.

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. ©

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

-Ū.

You want to come to, don't you?

I'm not really sure I do…

WAKE UP! WAKE UP!

I am up, you blind bat!

I'm rather more of a goat.

I thought it you were a horse!

–And to that, I say “Ney”

Great .

Listen. If you can get all of the Golden Girls and all of the beatles lined up in a row, I'll give you a bucket.

What's in the bucket.

Nothing, that's the fun of it.

hm.

Sir Paul McCartney?

Uh, I guess.

Sir Paul McCartney, you must never die.

–I feel like i've heard this somewhere before…

Perhaps somewhere before; But here, now.

Very well, then.

On you go.

You know–you look familiar.

No, I don't.

Are you sure we don't know eachother?

I'm not sure of anything, really–and neither should you be.

Words to remember, my dear friend.

__

So you've been knighted.

I'd think it so. but the ceremony were in the morning.

___

Notes Dump II:

All those who seek to controll me
Will therefore be controlled by me
therefore
Those who seek to contain me
Shall therefore be contained by me
Amen

JOHN SLATTERY

wtf characters is this.

idk , it just says “John Slattery”
The fuck, man.

She doesn't listen.

She'll listen to me

You think so

I know so.

Forget it. If she doesn't obey me–
She's not going to obey anybody–
Especially you;
Whoever it is you think you are.

Whatever, a*****e.

That's right;
I'm an a*****e.
So that's Captain A*****e
To you, motherfucker!

[There's a Surf Club in Brooklyn]

Mister Cellophane

{The Printing Press} - pop Up Club

Toot it and boot it

“The telepathic deadmau5”

Whatever that is

Ooh shit, here we go again with this motherfucker

[The 4th Dimensional Jimmy Fallon's telepathy becomes extremely keenly developed, with the more time he spends intentionally looking into the eye of the many cameras used to film the shows h appears on, exponentially increasing over the expanse of his career–as he soon finds out, his peers have also developed this seemingly unique ability, however, each person who has gained this ability has also developed an individual; intrinsic and respectively specific skill within his or herself which allows each person who possess this telepathy to limit/inhibit this at his or her own will or desire

Whatever.

JIMMY FALLON YOU RAT MOTHERFUCKER.

I'm not a rat! I'm a weasel! AH!

YEAH?

YEAH, FORREAL.

WELL, FUCK YOU, YOU WEASEL MOTHERFUCKER.

FOR WHAT.

i'M GONNA KILL YOU.

That's readily apparent–BUT WHY?

[The mobster lunges for Jimmy]

AHH.
I NEED CONTEXT.

[He lunges for Jimmy again]
AHH
CONTINUITY. CONTINUTIY.

Oh damn. So he really can shapeshift into.

Just about

–Just about anything.
Fuck you.

[The syndicate crime organization which Patrick has become involved with has become mistrustful and uncertain of his straightforward and clean-cut demeanor; He is forcibly injected with a combination of heroin and cocaine to ensure that he is trustworthy to continue within the organization, and his reputation is put into jeopardy as his occasional recreational use curtails into a habit, which he hides, as his new promotion to Head of Programming, in addition to his continuing role as the host of a primetime late night talk show are both put at stake. Patrick , a young and eager writer and performer, begins his career as a remarkably clean-cut and good-hearted young man, with an almost heroic sensibility of naivety, besides his impressively professional tolerance for high volumes of alcohol, and primarily hidden vice for cigarettes.]

What is that.

(mockingly)
Heh. “what's that?”

[Patrick shrugs, and grimaces, as if to say “whatever, then”]

It's just some ye-yo.

(uninterested)
Oh.

[He suddenly becomes slightly more hostile, as if provoked by Patrick's nonchalance]
You down for some ye?

Hah, i'm straight.

(squinting)
You sure?

Yeah.

Come on! Don't be so stiff.

(defensively

I thought surely the next presidential election was one or two years out, but the racial tensions which had been rising became even more pronounced, as I realized that November was theboncoming time—and that they hostility between the whites and the blacks had once again been a result as the oncoming war, fueled onward—that the hatred, disgust, and general aggression of the whites had been of course, in the midsts of yet another Trump-fueled political upheaval, and I wondered why and how at all I had been caught in such a world that existed in form of man, of course, now proven himself to be the weaker sex, and yet in that of dominance, as was arranged in such an unholy war, to be the helm of power by sheer greed— now it seemed that these attacks were indeed political terrorism, and that these motorcyclists, my placement close to the ground level, and my neighbor's clammorings were specific attacks, after my identity had been varied to be that of the same in which I had once held political ambition, now none of which I assumed mattered at all. Perhaps I needed something more certain than a 12 story jump or suicide by train, and wondered as to whether it would be easy enough to kill myself bh self inflicted gunshot—a sure thing for certain, as love has been lost in the way of money at all.

At that party…or rather, kind of—after.

That acid that never hit Beyoncé

I don't feel it.

Man, I'm a terrible influence(r)

Just take it.

Nah, I'm good—

PUSSY.

-_-

Give me three.

K.

—suddenly hits BEYONCÉ.

BEYONCÉ

…I got this.

[BEYONCE] however, does not

Ohh, shit.

— “got this.”

A very stranded, very sober Johnny depp stumbles upon what appears to be a college frat party, where the only thing they have is light beer, and nobody even recognizes him as a celebrity, because the attendees are all gen z

What's even after gen z?

The fucking apocalypse.

Anyway.

The acid hits Beyoncé on her way to make coffee, which extends the trip from the living room to the kitchen infinitely.

Multidimensional Anne Hathaway hulks the fuck out and saves the day by ruining everything, which actually fixes everything— and *spoiler* helps Jesus to remain as the king of kings at beer pong.

Lol

In the late 90s in New York City, the keystone cast of Saturday night live learns of each other's formerly sexret psychic abilities, and uses the radio technologies of Rockefeller plaza to develop a research center for the telepathically gifted, eventually discovering and perfecting time travel.

Supacree (the kid version) appears in and out of her ideal and desired realities, baffling ‘the Hollywood people' and later ‘the New York people', becoming the legendary central figure of the Illuminati, as the original timepiece — a pyramid shaped extra terrestrial vehicle which contains an ascended hyper conciousness, which

I can't remember how it goes, did the supacree leave to find the Skrillex, or was it the other way around?

I think it was both ways at some point, but the whole thing was this, just in case I never wrote it but just saw—

These space god (humanoid evolved) are some kind of scientists/ doctors— there are four timepieces, each representing an era upon our planet; earth, which is distant but sacred— these four time pieces each depart their given “docs” in time to appear on earth at specific

Fuck this is hard to explain

Times in history, at which the first worlds, or previous human eras were known to have been destroyed— these time pieces travel through time space with the full record of these events in order to alert the current human era of its imminent doom, as an attempt to prevent such disasterous events, typically war, which will lead to the annihilation of the human species; these Gods, one male and one female, a king and queen, a married couple are the rules of the humankind, technically worshiped as a whole as one God, with whom the

No sympathy
For the empath, either
It smells of either
Mescaline, or ether
It's just a dream, I mean
I don't need referrals to therapy
Serenity and peace
Is all I'm screaming for
The the fourth wall's broken
The worlds up in arms
I pretend to hold him in my arms,
As I nod off,
I forgot to block the thought watchers
Got my VPN on, but
An EMP is what we need
To get the NPCs off
Fuck then all, then
Turn my phone off, tune out
Or just doze off
I need at lease a dose of Stone,
You know,
But won't bother
It's awful/awesome
I didn't wanna write it all,
At all, but I got to
Cause I been moving up
Like the Jefferson's in Chicago
Or was that New York?
Imm unsure,
Puzzles, importance and crosswords
I can't run on no water and pasta
So I'm awkward a short-stop
Or stoped stored of breath, tripped over a cross a t the crosswalk,
For once I'm iconic,
The Beatles I'm all four of them
Need some soft porn,
Or a needle in side my arm
This dude is harming me
I need some f****n armor from
The opposite of God
It's just obnoxious,
He won't stop fucking up my block
I guess nobody loves him
Not even his mom
Guess it's my son
It's just another song it sonnet,
If you're reading or watching it
It's the opposite of love,
Not hate,
It's poverty

Baby's all right Brooklyn

Pretty little palace of disaster
Pretty little patterns of —
Whatever
Tantrums, smashing Jack o lanterns
Shadows,
Hands that attach to the strings
Allowing them to dance into dreams
It seems these sacred places
Have been ravaged
And
I have not been running
But I don't have any money
Wise than that
It's less than zero
Negatives
I want to kill myself again
Honestly, I see a way out it just
Requires being tortured
By people coughing.
And motorcycles
I might have seen my son for the last time
At age five
It's finally warm outside
And everything's just
Reminding me
I'm struggling with poverty
Nothing really matters cause I don't belong here
Everything is wrong
I just want blonde hair,
Hurry up, God
Assist me with a suicide
I can take pride in
Not an attempt, but
The only success I'll ever have
At anything
At all
-El Al
Nothing moves the same
After an unrequited love becomes a tragedy
Or just a movie scene
I want to scream for needing to be needed
Then again
Could die just to be dead
Could go back
To just be blacklisted
Or a crackhead
Doing magic tricks

Pass

I couldn't have ever imagined
This fascination as of late
Or making trance
But anything can happen
With the light switches on and off
As the kite catches headwinds
Or hedwig is getting bigger by the minute
That just grows out of his head,
But I wish it was a wig
Like Kristen

Pass

Yes.

Breathe deep into my lungs,
These scenes of things
So evil seeming, even to me
Lucidity becomes as dreamily
Eerie, intermittently meaningless,
And then suddenly,
However much later,
Maddeningly attractive,
As I am, in fact
Attached to this project
As menacingly handsome and devilish as he is
I've decided, it's manageable, but clashes with my
Moral standards and clasps with fabrications
Lay hands on me and see what happens!

—-okay…

“Okay”

Pass!

I asked to be a rockstar and showrunner
On the same blood soaked candles
I took blood oaths
Dancing in front of the fountain
At rockafeller plaza, to no applause,
Of course,
Drinking monsters nonstop,
Ontop of my skateboard
I came back late to Boston
And took a plane to Vegas early the next morning
But somewhere deep in my Google Drive or documents
Is me under a neon sign,
Which reads a name I resigned from saying
Until maybe I get signed
I hate him, but hey,
The name of the game is Mating Season,
And lately I've been craving eggs and
Mayonnaise instead of protein shakes and
Crayons

Wax on, wax off…

Pass, but that last sentence didn't make sense

It did.::
Oh,
Yes, it did.
Promise.

You do some stupid shit.

Okay, so I do stupid shit.

Beli