Good Dads Podcast Good Dads

Join us this week in the Good Dads studio as founder and director Dr. Jennifer Baker and J Fotsch jump into the third installment on the challenges and joys of parenting a 4- and 5-year-old children. 
Preschool-age children do not have the capacity to regulate their emotions as grown-ups, and some children throw more tantrums than others. One of the best way to avoid the potential meltdown is for dads to give choices: It offers leeway to strong-willed children so they can feel they have some control over their situation. By negotiating and getting down on your child's level, parents can teach their children to manage their behavior. In fact, managing children is far more about teaching parents to manage their own behavior above all else.


Show Notes
(3:08) If you know a tantrum is likely to happen in the grocery store ... where they want something and you're not going to get that thing for them, then I would say, first of all, avoid taking them to the store.

(4:26) Try to forestal those tests of the will, especially the ones that you're going to lose—because you can't make a child chew and swallow. 

(7:22) So the worst case-case scenario is to give into this ... Sometimes you know, you're tired or you want them to just be quiet, so you just be like, "Ok, fine, three donuts, just get out of my face."

(10:03) Usually tantrums happen around a particular setting.

(11:32) You gotta understand—we've all had moments when we're not in a good space, and really, we just need a nap and a snack.

(12:58) That's the thing, though. Kids know when you're exhausted. They know! ... They just sense it.  
Resources 
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The Good Dads Blog 
gooddads.com 
Questions or comments? Reach out to Good Dads at info@gooddads.com.

Join us this week in the Good Dads studio as founder and director Dr. Jennifer Baker and J Fotsch talk about the challenges and joys of parenting a 4- and 5-year-old children. 
This period of life is marked by inquisitiveness and unfiltered honesty. It's certainly true that they say the darndest things! These youngsters are at their peak of innocence, but they're also very in tune with potential tensions between Mom and Dad.
Your kids are always watching and listening. They're absorbing what their parents say and do, so we talk about the important ways that dads can lead by example.


Show Notes
(1:35) By the time children are 4 and 5 years old, you can relax a little.

(8:39) That's when you hear parents talking about, "Oh man, it's so hard, and I'm so tired, but it's worth it." And you're like, "Really?" And before, when I didn't have kids, I'm like, "Is it? It doesn't sound worth it."

(9:09) Write down what your kids say. Write down those little moments because later on, you'll want to remember those.

(11:30) Researchers were so surprised to find was that the children (starting Kindergarten) were so much more aware of what was going on in the couple's relationship than the parents thought.

(13:35) Your kids' emotional health is very much tied up in how well you two (the parents) are getting along.

(15:06) By four or five, your child has been observing you for four or five years. They are accustomed to the tone of your voice, the expression on your face. They have a pretty good idea of how you're going to react to certain things. They know you.

(15:31) Being a girl dad, (I'm) making sure I give the example of how I treat her mom. That's how I want her to be treated when she's at the dating age ... Like when I kiss my wife in front of her and she goes, "Ew, that's gross."  
Resources 
Sign up for the Good Dads Newsletter and never miss a podcast!
The Good Dads Blog 
gooddads.com 
Questions or comments? Reach out to Good Dads at info@gooddads.com.

Are children master manipulators, or just trying to get their way? Is it okay to have night-time snacks? What's a dad to do when his child disobeys, turning on the TV after bedtime? Join us this week with J Fotsch and Dr. Jennifer Baker as we cover common questions for dads of four- and five-year-olds, including bedtimes, sugary snacks, discipline, pretend-crying and more.
 
Show Notes
(2:14) I try to tell (my daughter) when I know she's fake-crying, or fake-whining. She does that very, very good. I tell her, I say, "Do you know something? I know when you're not really crying—that you're fake crying—and I also know when you're pouting and you're trying to get something. So let's not do that."

(3:38) Many times adults make the mistake of thinking a child thinks the way they do. And they don't! A child (who's) maybe 4 or 5 has very concrete thinking.

(6:08) Let's say that you want a cookie ... There's no reason you shouldn't get that cookie. And you're gonna try to figure out any way that you can to get that cookie. And if something works—and has worked—like crying or whining or begging or whatever, then you're going to do it as long as you can to see if it works.

(7:26) If you reward the behavior that you don't want to see, by giving in, giving the cookie ... then you're likely to see more of that behavior because it worked.

(10:15) When you smile, children know really they've lost the battle. It's like, when we (parents) get angry ... it's like throwing a pebble in a puddle. You got a reaction there. Alright, let's see if I can throw a bigger pebble. Ok, now I really got you going! Look at you, your face is all red.

(13:41) You can't tell a child to sleep. Have you ever tried that? It doesn't work.

(18:42) Most parents could make their lives much easier if they have a routine and they stick to that routine. Kids love routine. They feel safe in routine.  
Resources 
Sign up for the Good Dads Newsletter and never miss a podcast!
The Good Dads Blog 
gooddads.com 
Questions or comments? Reach out to Good Dads at info@gooddads.com.

We welcome back Bre Tyger, Community Alignment Specialist from Family Connects, a program new to Springfield, MO. We cover the difference between "baby blues" and postpartum depression, and how it affects both Mom and Dad. A phenomenon of ongoing sadness in the days after your bundle of joy arrives is common and normal, but in general medical experts say the "baby blues" might begin to be classified as post-partum depression if the feelings persist beyond 2-3 weeks. Dads can get some form of post-partum depression, too, in as many as 10% of new dads.
 
CORRECTION:  After the recording concluded, Bre asked us to tell our listeners that post-partum depression occurs somewhere between 1 in 5 OR 1 in 3 new moms; that's between 20% and 33%.
 
Our Guest: Bre Tyger
Bre Tyger is a Registered Nurse and serves as the Community Alignment Specialist for Springfield Greene County Health Department’s Family Connects program. Family Connects is a free universal nurse home visiting program with a goal of providing support for families of newborns. Bre has worked in community and public health and the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit most of her career and loves helping set families up for success. She has been married to her husband for 15 years and together they have two wonderful children.
 
Show Notes 
(2:21) One thing I have seen commonly (in post-partum women) is difficulty bonding with the baby and attachment. They were so excited to have their baby, so excited when they first had Baby and brought them home, but suddenly they're saying, "I don't feel connected to my baby." They're having a hard time taking care of Baby; maybe they're having a hard time getting out of bed ... or having a hard time getting any good sleep.

(4:38) It can feel like your fault—or like you need to do something to make it better—but post-partum depression is really not your fault. And it's not something that women choose

(9:31) It's a big load for the dad to carry. Dads can feel a pressure of providing for their family. They have the normal pressure of providing for their family but now you wife is struggling, and you have this baby that you don't know what to do with or how to care for. That can be a lot of stress for the dad to carry. Some dads tend to take care of others before themselves, so they can also become sleep deprived; they can also forget to eat meals and those basic things to do to take care of themselves.

(18:14) (Post-partum depression) can occur at any time in the year after Baby is born. That may not always be recognized.  
Resources
Family Connects Website
Sign up for the Good Dads Newsletter and never miss a podcast! 
The Good Dads blog 
gooddads.com
To be put in touch with Bre regarding the Advisory Committee with Family Connects, reach out to us at info@gooddads.com.
 

This week on the podcast, we welcome to the studio Bre Tyger, a public health nurse and Community Alignment Specialist with Family Connects, an international program new to the area. Join us as Bre discusses how she helps new parents, observant youngsters, the Women, Infants and Children (WIC) nutritionist program, and encouraging new, first-time dads to be involved in the lives of their infants. 
 
Our Guest: Bre Tyger
Bre Tyger is a Registered Nurse and serves as the Community Alignment Specialist for Springfield Greene County Health Department’s Family Connects program. Family Connects is a free universal nurse home visiting program with a goal of providing support for families of newborns. Bre has worked in community and public health and the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit most of her career and loves helping set families up for success. She has been married to her husband for 15 years and together they have two wonderful children.
 
Show Notes 
(4:13) As a public health nurse with the health department, we get to see people where they are. We currently go into their homes. We can have real conversations with them ... and meet them where they're at. I think, sometimes in a hospital environment it's kind of hard to see what's going on ... or what you really need.

(9:15) It's hard to connect with dads (during pre-natal and post-partum appointments, when Dad is often at work), and we do really like working with Mom and Dad because both of them are providing support for this family and this infant. Both are an important part in their lives. 

(20:57) Nobody really knows how to be a parent before they're a parent. You can do all the preparation, you can take classes, you can see other people doing it. But every baby is different, and every scenario is different ... every experience is unique.  
Resources
Family Connects Website
Sign up for the Good Dads Newsletter and never miss a podcast! 
The Good Dads blog 
gooddads.com
To be put in touch with Bre regarding the Advisory Committee with Family Connects, reach out to us at info@gooddads.com.

Dana and Christina Ford have a full house with a teenager, elementary schoolers and preschoolers. Join us for a conversation originally recorded in 2021 with the Fords as the blended family navigates the important transitions inherent in father-son relationships as Dana entered his step-son's life when he was 8 years old. Dana and Christina give advice for step-parents and differentiate their approaches to parenting versus step-parenting. We also talk about the first-baby nerves, anticipating your partner's needs and raising un-selfish children.
 
Our Guests: Husband and Wife Dana and Christina Ford
Christina Ford is the president and founder of Rebound Foundation, a nonprofit whose mission is to end the cycle of abuse through safe transitional ​housing for women and children, and educating youth to prevent violence.
Dana Ford has been the men's head baseketball coach at Missouri State University since 2018. He transitioned from Bachelor to Husband and to Father quickly.
The Fords are parents to five, and one in Heaven.
 
Show Notes 
(8:09) I was the single parent for eight years, and I was very independent. I was Mom, and I went to school, and I worked. I was in a very independent role, and my idea of when we were going to come together was, you know, "Was I still going to be this independent force?" I was really keen into that. I was going to have my own thing, my own title ... I didn't have to ask someone else, "How should we do this?" or "What decision should be made?" It was always just me making the decision.

(13:29) We do not parent all of our children the same. Just like I don't coach all my players the same. One of the most important things that you have to learn—is you have to learn your people. That means you have to learn your children individually, same way I do with my players. You have to spend time with them, communicate with them and observe them. 

(14:44) If you listen, people will tell you who they are.

(19:31) One of the biggest adjustments was the fact that, due to COVID, there was no support system of Mom, sister, right? I mean, I'm always used to mother-in-law and sister-in-law being there, and them doing the heavy lifting.

(25:50) If you want to conquer something you have to stay united, but we (as parents) conquer by dividing sometimes.

(27:42) So many (us) can get selfish, and be about "me, me, me." Hopefully because they see us and come from a larger family (our children grow to) understand that it's not always about you.  
Resources
Sign up for our newsletter to never miss a podcast!  The Good Dads Blog  gooddads.com The Rebound Foundation