7 min
5. What if the grass isn’t greener on the other side? Unfound Fears - A Telltale Podcast
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- Mental Health
Hey, I’m Kurt Sanders, and welcome to another epis
She gave me her number.And I called.“Ben, you need to get on Bumble,” my Manager said.I got a match.And I asked if we could speak on the phone.“Sure.”I called - and she declined it.And replied with, “Sup?”Call me old school, but I prefer voice over text.The truth is I tried all the dating apps.And they all failed me.It’s a best-selfie contest.With people advertising their Instagram and Snapchat.I don’t care if you can make the best duck face.Or own the cutest dog.I’ve realized these apps objectify men and women.I care about you as a person.Especially, your values.And selfies don’t translate to values.I may not be as active as some of my peers on these dating apps.But I’m sticking to my guns and building authentic relationships.I may have fewer dates.But at least don’t meet people off a few texts.If you’re doing anything important with your life -Your time is worth way more than that.As an entrepreneur, I know better.I don’t settle for what’s there.I chase what could be.
So that was a real LinkedIn post posted by a real human. I think. Look, I shouldn’t bag people out, Unfound Fears is a safe space. But that LinkedIn post, if you care, had an insane amount of positive comments and thousands upon thousands of that mystical currency with more value than Bitcoin right now, something known as likes. Yes, I gagged a little at these wise words. But on the whole they are adored, cheered and even aspired to. And I get it. Emotional content evokes in most of us a response. But these long, winding roads of keyboard wisdom bring something else with them. A face behind the words. A 40 Under 40 recipient, a serial business owner who you just know would have the word “hustle” tattooed to their fingers if only it contained 5 letters, one for each finger. Someone who has contributed to Forbes Magazine, Time Magazine, Huffington Post, NPR, Adweek, WeakAds, Woman’s Day, Beige Knitting Patterns Quarterly, you get the picture..
We see all these things and we react, be it with envy, jealousy, a snicker or boredom. Some worship at the altar of it.
In episode 1 I asked you guys to send in the thing you fear the most, but only using eight words to do it. I got some brilliant answers, some similar to my own and some that, well, may not be suitable to mention in this podcast. Let’s just say there are certain places you shouldn’t put a toy car. And thank you to ladieslad79@hotmail.com for sending that one in. Trolls are a vital part of the internet and I endorse them wholeheartedly.
But one in particular came from Carlie, who got in touch and shared a fear that is, for most people, fundamental in our decision making around taking risks, happiness and fulfillment. I’m going to use more than eight words to say it but Carlie’s fear was this:
What if i take a risk and the grass isn’t greener?
OK, that was totally too dramatic, but it’s so goddamn true. For so many of us it’s a killer. What if I go broke? What if I lose something precious to me? What if I fail so badly that my entire life falls apart? What if, what if, what if.
But it did get me thinking. What is it about the grass being greener that we’re so attached to? Is it as simple as suggesting things might be marginally worse or is it that things could get a lot worse? What is the level of greenness we’re willing to accept? How do we even judge the greenness of the grass? Why do we even care and what drives this fear?
So I started digging. It turns out the original fat man himself, Buddha, had a red-hot take on this that has probably graced a million Pinterest boards throughout history. Buddha, in between bites of a huge bowl of roghan josh no doubt, said that the key to happiness was pretty simple: learn to want what you have and not want what you don’t have.
Thanks Obama, I mean Buddha. Helpful stuff.
But does that really help us here at Unfound Fears? We’re not here to settle, we
Hey, I’m Kurt Sanders, and welcome to another epis
She gave me her number.And I called.“Ben, you need to get on Bumble,” my Manager said.I got a match.And I asked if we could speak on the phone.“Sure.”I called - and she declined it.And replied with, “Sup?”Call me old school, but I prefer voice over text.The truth is I tried all the dating apps.And they all failed me.It’s a best-selfie contest.With people advertising their Instagram and Snapchat.I don’t care if you can make the best duck face.Or own the cutest dog.I’ve realized these apps objectify men and women.I care about you as a person.Especially, your values.And selfies don’t translate to values.I may not be as active as some of my peers on these dating apps.But I’m sticking to my guns and building authentic relationships.I may have fewer dates.But at least don’t meet people off a few texts.If you’re doing anything important with your life -Your time is worth way more than that.As an entrepreneur, I know better.I don’t settle for what’s there.I chase what could be.
So that was a real LinkedIn post posted by a real human. I think. Look, I shouldn’t bag people out, Unfound Fears is a safe space. But that LinkedIn post, if you care, had an insane amount of positive comments and thousands upon thousands of that mystical currency with more value than Bitcoin right now, something known as likes. Yes, I gagged a little at these wise words. But on the whole they are adored, cheered and even aspired to. And I get it. Emotional content evokes in most of us a response. But these long, winding roads of keyboard wisdom bring something else with them. A face behind the words. A 40 Under 40 recipient, a serial business owner who you just know would have the word “hustle” tattooed to their fingers if only it contained 5 letters, one for each finger. Someone who has contributed to Forbes Magazine, Time Magazine, Huffington Post, NPR, Adweek, WeakAds, Woman’s Day, Beige Knitting Patterns Quarterly, you get the picture..
We see all these things and we react, be it with envy, jealousy, a snicker or boredom. Some worship at the altar of it.
In episode 1 I asked you guys to send in the thing you fear the most, but only using eight words to do it. I got some brilliant answers, some similar to my own and some that, well, may not be suitable to mention in this podcast. Let’s just say there are certain places you shouldn’t put a toy car. And thank you to ladieslad79@hotmail.com for sending that one in. Trolls are a vital part of the internet and I endorse them wholeheartedly.
But one in particular came from Carlie, who got in touch and shared a fear that is, for most people, fundamental in our decision making around taking risks, happiness and fulfillment. I’m going to use more than eight words to say it but Carlie’s fear was this:
What if i take a risk and the grass isn’t greener?
OK, that was totally too dramatic, but it’s so goddamn true. For so many of us it’s a killer. What if I go broke? What if I lose something precious to me? What if I fail so badly that my entire life falls apart? What if, what if, what if.
But it did get me thinking. What is it about the grass being greener that we’re so attached to? Is it as simple as suggesting things might be marginally worse or is it that things could get a lot worse? What is the level of greenness we’re willing to accept? How do we even judge the greenness of the grass? Why do we even care and what drives this fear?
So I started digging. It turns out the original fat man himself, Buddha, had a red-hot take on this that has probably graced a million Pinterest boards throughout history. Buddha, in between bites of a huge bowl of roghan josh no doubt, said that the key to happiness was pretty simple: learn to want what you have and not want what you don’t have.
Thanks Obama, I mean Buddha. Helpful stuff.
But does that really help us here at Unfound Fears? We’re not here to settle, we
7 min