15 episodes

Christian and Michelle are living proof that you don't need a license to be a parent. Join them as they discuss the ups and downs of raising their (respective) unfortunate offspring who will likely require therapy after they leave their care.

Dad Bite Bite Podcasts

    • Parenting

Christian and Michelle are living proof that you don't need a license to be a parent. Join them as they discuss the ups and downs of raising their (respective) unfortunate offspring who will likely require therapy after they leave their care.

    Ep 15: Dad Sneeze

    Ep 15: Dad Sneeze

    It's just getting weirder out there, and Christian and Michelle are here to not offer their help. Join them as they break down the latest events, starting with the things we teach our children in "Not my Homeschool," bums on a mattress, what a "d-bag" is, and the gross things our kids do. Finally, they stop to consider the non-scientific explanation behind the "dad sneeze," replete with an all-out Dad Sneeze competition that nobody could possibly win.

    • 32 min
    Ep 14: It's Light Purple, You D***

    Ep 14: It's Light Purple, You D***

    There's a lot to think about in this day and age, like why Christian suddenly loses his mind when he talks to Tweaker Trolls... or whether or not his daughters might be eaten by wolves in the middle of the night. Michelle, on the other hand, visits the DMV during the Covid era with her soon-to-be licensed 16-year-old. Finally, we introduce a new segment for Dad Bite called "You Think You're Better Than Me?" where we discuss other parents who claim to be better at this than we are (they are).

    • 33 min
    Child Labor

    Child Labor

    Happy Father's Day! In this episode, we celebrate the grossness of being a dad ("Captain Sweaty"), the economics of child labor, and some generally bad tips on parenting. To top it all off, we revel in the poetic glory one of Christian's perennial favorites, Haribo Sugarless Gummy Bears.

    • 37 min
    Buy More Watermelon (Weekday Interlude)

    Buy More Watermelon (Weekday Interlude)

    In this episode of our Weekday Interlude, a.k.a "The Sh**show Review," Christian ruminates on having a midlife birthday, the state of being a dad, and the inevitability of becoming your own dad. Along the way, we also take the time to relive the first time Christian heard his dad curse, as well as what it's like to smell a 3-year-old's fart. 

    • 10 min
    Hot Whispers

    Hot Whispers

    This bi-week on Dad Bite we discuss giving cigarettes to 5-year-olds, the weird allure of ASMR (don't ask), and the futility of homeschooling. It's a sure sign that we're all going to Dairy Queen in a handbasket.

    • 26 min
    Fly Killah

    Fly Killah

    Time to discuss the finer points in life, like the difference between boys and girls, how we're all sh*** preschool teachers, and why certain protests are just pointless. To top it off, we mourn the loss of the iconic "Hood to Coast" for the year... and all the rudeness missed because of it.

    • 37 min

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