Edacious Nae Libby

The very last Edacious podcast. Thx for the food, drink, laughter, memories. Thx for being a conduit Cville, RVA, DC and everywhere else me and my truck Serena went. Thx for the lessons. Be well, Remember to allow. Join me. Here's what next. It's EPIC!

Maybe the most important podcast I've ever produced. Addiction in restaurant culture. In an environment whose very premise is dedicated to serving others, how do we take care of ourselves without the emotional blankets of alcohol, drugs, sex, work, shopping, chaos, rage, you name it? How do we help each other remove those blankets and begin to feel and work through the complicated feelings that come with running and working in the food industry?
How do we help our own? Ben's Friends is figuring it out. My conversation with Carrie Neal Walden of the Atlanta Chapter confirms we absolutely need this in Charlottesville. Sooner rather than later and you guys know why. No need to spell it out, if you know what I mean, you know what I mean. If you don't? Ask your local food industry professional, because until we start talking about addiction in restaurant culture, it will not get better.
Our discussion topics are listed below. Also stay tuned for my very biased and giggly review of our local AquaFloat facility. It's pretty fucking epic and a much better tool than that after work shift drink. Addiction is a chronic disease, but if you have the right toolbox full of stuff, and some community that understands, it becomes just one more facet of the shiny diamond you are. Be well my friends. Big Love.
Chaos. It's the new cocaine.
Living in the present. Be here now. Don't "catastrophize" and predict a horrible future.
You know how addiction ends. How about trying the other story? Aren't you curious?
It's okay to say no and offer an alternative instead of saying yes all the time.
It's okay to say yes, but not right this minute.
Is restaurant culture different from other job cultures? Is it an Island of Misfit Toys?
Setting boundaries.
Parenting yourself.
Restaurant culture and its peculiar habits, some that still exist.
Why Ben's Friends is NOT AA. At all.
A group of restaurant people that want to get and stay sober and they want to help other folks do the same. Not anonymous. Round table open-discussion format. Once a week meetings in 16 cities. Topic based peer-support discussion. What do you do if you're 2 weeks sober but your friends aren't? What boundaries do you set for yourself?
What other industries could this model translate to?
Handling your shit.
To live sober, you've got to have connection.
Anthony Bourdain
Sean Brock
Mocktails
Food delivery system impacts everyone.
We're all a hot mess. Shame is a useless emotion. Take it and turn it into something to help another person. It'll make you feel better.
Sober Curious. What is it?
Perception and Awareness. Being able to look at yourself from outside yourself.

Welcome to Episode 122! No guest this time because all y’all are running around like crazy people anyway. Putting up greenery and buying shit because you think if you don’t get Aunt Gladys a singing gingerbread man, she’ll give you the stink eye. You know what? She will anyway, save your money.
DO YOURSELF this holiday. I see your gutter minds you dirty birdies, but I ain’t talking about bedroom eyes under the mistletoe. I’m talking about expectations and perceptions. What would YOU do if Christmas was the way YOU wanted it and not the way you THINK you wanted it? You’re allowed to do that you know.
Pretend your life is a movie and you’re playing the part of you and if you win the Academy Award this year, that mythical SELF LOVE will finally materialize and throw itself about you like a fabulous new cashmere shawl. Why not? Nothing else has worked to this point. Or maybe it has but just hasn’t lasted long enough for you to notice. In any case, treating self-care as a game, and a movie and a pretend play, where you try out shit and see what works, is a damn sight better option than buying a bunch of bath bombs and wine. Your mind is occupied and OMG you might even have a little fun while you’re trying to fix that voice inside which says if you don’t have potato rolls on the table for Christmas, your neighbor will think you’re a whore.
We talk about that in this episode. Take it easy my friends. No one is behind you with a clipboard ticking off your every imagined failing. You’re fine. We’re all a mess. Big Love. http://edacious.co/122

Authenticity, intuition, and perception in a world full of rigid expectations. Meet Heather Carlucci, medical intuitive, former NYC pastry chef and restaurant owner. All-around badass Glamazon.
She did all the things in food: pastry, savory, consulting, teaching, appearances on Good Morning America and Iron Chef. You name it she probably tackled it with edacious-ness. But five years ago she made a huge change...because something told her there was something more. This is one of the most authentic conversations I’ve ever had on the podcast. A perfect representation of what I want this medium to be. The fact destiny brought me to a medium as the first guest of Edacious 2.0? Feels great in my soul. I can’t imagine a more tremendous beginning, and I’m so grateful to Heather for donating her time. One not to miss. Big Love everyone. Embrace your inner Woo-Woo. Just one way I stay edacious!
Rabbit holes we traveled down:
Authenticity
Not Being Defensive
Accepting all parts of yourself
Zero f***s
Cultural and societal expectations
Restaurant culture now vs. 20 years ago
Workaholics
The importance of rest
Trauma Work
Ego
Mind/Body Connection
The importance of LANGUAGE (hard vs. challenging)
Validation
Does This Matter?
We're All A Mess
Fuck It!
Ease

The Who, What, When, Where, and Why of Edacious, as well as the What's Next. There will be food. There will always be food.
What the hell happened? Find out in this "Catch-Up" episode. So much life, I had to take a minute. Not a bad thing. Reflecton and solitude are essential in order to love yourself. To know yourself. To know what works and what doesn't. When you act from your center instead of reacting to outside forces, the ripple effects, the connections created, are much more powerful. I needed that for myself and for my work which is also my art.
I've also decided I fucking hate show notes so if you want to discover the magic of Edacious, you just better go on and hit SUBSCRIBE at the purple podcast app on your phone. Or not, makes no never mind to me. But I'm saving the writing for the book I just finished. That's on the podcast too.
Stay edacious folks. Especially for yourself. I know it's hard. Pro tip: feel the feelings, don't BE the feelings. Trust me on this one. Big Love from Edacious, a true Connection Initiative.

What is The Farmer’s Shadow and why is it important in making a great wine? Welcome to a reflective, thoughtful conversation with Emily Pelton of Veritas Vineyard & Winery. In wine there is truth. Emily’s truth lies in this concept. Being present with the grapes on a daily basis, tasting, tasting again. Walking the rows. Taking the time and doing the work rather than trying to rush and fix mistakes later.
Wine and how it grows over time both on the vine and in the bottle. The pride you feel when you look at a bottle you grew yourself, the product of many hands and many months of work and careful care. The grape farmer’s finished product. Just like a produce seller is proud of her prized tomatoes, a winemaker feels the same for her wine.
As Emily says, wine isn’t just a product on the shelves, every piece is carefully curated before going into the bottle, just like a chef curates a plate of food. Taste varies among different years, but also among each individual row. It’s the winemaker’s job to taste constantly, sometimes daily. To be present to determine which row will be blended best depending on weather conditions, the age of the vine, and the current condition of the soil. Winemakers are grape farmers after all.
How will this rainy year be salvaged? The news isn’t as dire as you think. Emily sees the challenge as a learning experience and she will use the knowledge she’s gained from past years to create something beautiful. California winemakers are actually jealous since most of the time they endure extremely dry conditions and water shortages. The grass is always greener and the winemaker has to be able to assess what they have rather than long for conditions on the other coast.
Veritas is a family business with deep roots. Although working with family on a daily basis can be challenging, a major amount of trust is an important component. No micromanaging your daughter, your aunt, your brother because everyone has the same end goal. A business that started with a dream Emily’s parents had of owning a farm. A dream Emily followed when she gave up a career in infectious disease to move to Virginia where she quickly fell in love with grape farming and pursued a degree in oenology. Again, being present and aware to what your soul’s purpose needs to do.
It’s not just wine! Veritas offers amazing food, a gorgeous space for special events, and The Farmhouse bed and breakfast with a prix fixe menu which changes depending on what is in season that day. Emily actually works closely with Chef Andy to create perfect pairings for each vintage. Again, an example of taking time. Being present. Not focusing on filling the space with weddings and loading up tour buses. Honesty and truth. Winery first. The rest is just extra.
In this winter season of reflection, I can’t think of a better way to kick off 2019. I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did creating it. In vino veritas.