Join The Pleasure Mechanics for explicit, honest & soulful conversations about every facet of human sexuality. Chris and Charlotte are your guides into the complex terrain of sexuality, and each episode equips you with erotic knowledge and know-how so you can experience more pleasure, joy and connection.
Slay Sexual Shame
Shame is one of the most common sexual struggles. Almost all of us struggle with some form of sexual shame – from body shame to faith-based shame, from kink shame to genital shame, almost everyone holds some shame. Shame tells us we are broken, sinful, gross or otherwise unworthy of love. Shame tells us if we were to be truly ourselves, we wouldn’t belong. Shame lies to us, and holds us all hostage in an invisible web-like grip of cultural myth and misinformation.
It’s time to slay the shame. In this encore episode of one of our most popular episodes ever, originally published in 2015 as episode 74, we explore sexual shame, think about where it really comes from, and then share a five step plan to slay your shame and find new freedom.
Participate in our Shame Slayers Survey here!
Ready to explore more shame-slaying, fear-busting, doubt-dissolving resources? Join the Pleasure Pod, show your support for the show, and unlock members only resources!
A Sexplanation : An Interview With Documentary Filmmaker Alex Liu
A Sexplanation is a new documentary, hitting the film festival circuit now, that offers a joyful exploration of what’s happening with sex education in North America, and the very personal impact of the past 40 years of abstinence only sex education in schools.
Going far beyond the classroom, Alex embarks on an epic journey into answering his own questions – and in doing so brings us a thrilling and powerful conversation about shame and guilt, fantasy and desire, connection, identity and belonging.
Click here to claim your free tickets to watch the full film and get the conversation going in your life.
For full film release information, clips and more, visit the film’s online home: A Sexplanation
* Enroll In Our Free Online Course* 50+ Conversation Starters For Great Conversations About Sex* Podcast Episode: How To Overcome Sexual Shame* Podcast Episode: Fantasy Vs. Desire* Podcast Episode: Sex Positive Parenting
Come As You Are : An Interview With Emily Nagoski
Come As You Are: the surprising new science that will transform your sex life by Emily Nagoski is a must-read for anyone interested in human sexuality – and since you are here, we bet that is you!
This book introduces you to research-backed frameworks that help you understand your own experience of sex. You’ll get tools to understand the most essential lessons of all: you are normal, your body isn’t broken, and you can gain erotic joy and confidence over time. Come As You Are invites you to come home to yourself, just as you are, and that’s why it will always be one of our foundational texts and recommendations.
Nagoski shines in making even the geekiest science relatable and accessible for us all. With equal parts science and story, this book offers a wellspring of erotic knowledge that we all need – and need to share!
Join us as we welcome author Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. back to the Speaking of Sex Podcast for her third interview with us, this time celebrating the release of the newly revised and updated Come As You Are.
Tune in to find out what Emily updated in her essential frameworks of Spontaneous Vs. Responsive Desire, The Dual Control Model Of Arousal and Erotic Context – and about the new addition of Magnificent Desire!
Come As You Are is now out in a revised 2nd edition, and pairs fabulously with Nagoski’s companion Come As You Are Workbook – an interactive guide with plenty of space for you to explore your own truths.
Click here to get the bonus reel for even more incredible conversation – about the pandemic, the cycle of human connection and how pleasure can save us all.
Speaking of Sex Podcast Interviews With Emily Nagoski
* Emily Nagoski Interview On The Surprising Science Of Sex* Emily Nagoski Interview on Burnout & The Stress – Sex Connection
Speaking Of Sex Podcast Episodes Covering Key Topics In Come As You Are
* Spontaneous Vs.
Before Pleasure Comes Safety
Intimacy, pleasure and erotic arousal all require a sense of safety to emerge. In this episode we explore why the human body needs to feel safe before pleasurable play, creative joy and erotic connection can authentically emerge. We look at the anatomy of social safety, fear vs. excitement, and the autonomic nervous system. Then we offer strategies for connecting with a sense of safety and finding ways to relax into play.
In this Speaking of Sex episode, we introduce a life-changing framework called Polyvagal Theory and how it influences our ability to relax, enjoy and play with one another as human beings. For way more resources on safety, play and arousal, visit us at PleasureMechanics.com/play
Practice Pleasure With Us!
Self Holds With Charlotte Mia Rose
This practice is offered as a gift for all to explore. Explore our Pleasure Practices library for more solo and partnered explorations to build your capacity for pleasure, joy & connection.
This podcast is dedicated to #PassionatePolyvagalist Deb Dana, with huge thanks for her tremendous educational resources on Polyvagal Theory: The Polyvagal Theory In Therapy and Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection
Transcript of Podcast Episode “Before Pleasure Comes Safety”
Chris Maxwell Rose (00:00):Welcome to Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics. I’m Chris.
Charlotte Mia Rose (00:05):I’m Charlotte.
Chris Maxwell Rose (00:06):We are the Pleasure Mechanics. And on this podcast, we have honest, explicit, soulful conversations about pleasure, joy and intimate connection. Come on over to pleasuremechanics.com where you will find all that we have to offer. And we have a lot to offer, because we have been the Pleasure Mechanics since 2006, making this our 15th year together, and our 15th year devoting ourselves to generating online resources so you can come into more pleasure and joy and connection in your life on your terms. And it’s been really sweet realizing it’s our 15th year together. We’re starting to really move through our archives, because we discovered with the help of many of you, our dear listeners, that most podcast feeds cut off after 200 episodes. And we are coming up on 400 episodes of the Speaking of Sex podcast. What’s up? Yes.
Chris Maxwell Rose (01:10):And as we do, we’re realizing that many of our foundational episodes where we lay out our core principles and ideas are starting to fall under that 200 episode mark and kind of getting lost in the archives. So we are curating our archives, organizing the best resources for you,
Fantasy Vs. Desire
A crucial step in understanding your erotic imagination is making a clear distinction between FANTASY and DESIRE. Many people try to start talking about sex by saying something like “Tell me about your fantasies. . .” While this is a great question to ask, you can run into trouble if you mix up Fantasy with Desire.
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* Enroll In Our Free Online Course* Join The Pleasure Pod & Unlock Members Only Resources
In this encore episode, originally published in 2013, we explore:
* the crucial difference of Fantasy Vs. Desire* how to release shame and judgement about “troublesome turn-ons”* how to safely share fantasies with a partner* why it is important to get curious about fantasies
Explore Your Fantasies, Name Your Desires
Here are some of our interactive resources to help you explore your fantasies and name your specific desires so you can get more of what you want! Ready for more? Join The Pleasure Pod & Unlock Members Only Resources
* Questions & Conversation Starters About Fantasy Vs. Desire* Name Your Desires: Fill In The Blanks Worksheet
Rethinking Valentine’s Day
Love it or hate it, Valentine’s Day rolls around every year – as some version has for over 2500 years! With it’s roots in pagan fertility festivals and it’s future as a multi-day festival celebrating all kinds of love, Valentine’s Day is here to stay. So it is time to rethink Valentine’s Day, again!
In this episode of Speaking of Sex with The Pleasure Mechanics, your hosts Chris and Charlotte break down the epic, sometimes bloody, history of Valentine’s Day and talk about how we can all rethink, reclaim and realign Valentine’s Day to meet our current needs for celebrating love, intimacy and, perhaps, carnal thrill.
For the full resource guide to this episode, visit PleasureMechanics.com/Vday
Celebrate and explore pleasure, love and joy with us year round by joining our global community of over 10,000 Pleasure Seekers – enroll in our free online course The Erotic Essentials to get started.