27 episodes

The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.

The Art of Char‪m‬ Kast Media

    • Education
    • 4.9 • 23 Ratings

The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.

    Toolbox: The Cheat Code to Building Deep Relationships and Being Unforgettable

    Toolbox: The Cheat Code to Building Deep Relationships and Being Unforgettable

    In today’s episode, we cover emotional bids with AJ and Johnny.

     

    Understanding emotional bids is the cheat code to building great relationships, but what are they, how do you recognize them, and why does ignoring them lead to the end of relationships?

     

    What to Listen For

     
    Why are Emotional Bids Important - 2:25 

     
    Why is it so important to your relationships to be able to recognize them? 
    How can ignoring your partner’s emotional bids lead to the end of your relationship?
    Why is it important to actively listen for emotional bids when you’re talking to someone?

     

     
    What is an Emotional Bid - 16:38 

     
    What is an emotional bid and how do you recognize when someone is trying to get you to connect?
    Why is it more important to pay attention to the emotions behind the words than the words themselves?
    How do you make someone want to text you back?
    What can you do to be unforgettable after one conversation with someone?

     
    Common Emotional Bids and the 3 Ways to Respond -  27:30
    What is a bid for attention and how should you respond to it?
    What is a bid for emotional support and how should you respond to it?
    What does it mean to turn toward an emotional bid and how can turning away from them or against them cause your relationships to crumble?
    What are the 3 ways we can respond to emotional bids and which one is guaranteed to make your relationship fail?

     
    How to Use Emotional Bids to Strengthen Relationships - 48:02
    What simple exercise can you use to become aware of emotional bids from the people you interact with on a daily basis?
    How can a lack of awareness of emotional bids lead to divorce and what can you do to be more aware of them in your partner?

     

    Emotional bids are our way of expressing vulnerability without feeling like we’re taking a big risk, so if we can recognize the emotional bids in others, acknowledge them, and respond appropriately by turning toward them, we can make the people we care about feel more comfortable being more vulnerable and connecting with us.

     

    A Word From Our Sponsors

    Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

     

    Resources from this Episode

    Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship (AoC Episode 719)

    Turning Toward Emotion (AoC Episode 720)

    The Love Lab - Gottman Institute

    Art of Charm Emotional Bids Cheat Sheet

    X-Factor Accelerator Mentorship

    Core Confidence Coaching Program

     

    Check in with AJ and Johnny!

    AJ on Instagram

    Johnny on Instagram

    The Art of Charm on Instagram

    The Art of Charm on YouTube

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 1 hr 2 min
    Mira Kirshenbaum | The Biggest Myth About Arguments & How to Deal With Finances In A Relationship

    Mira Kirshenbaum | The Biggest Myth About Arguments & How to Deal With Finances In A Relationship

    In today’s episode, we cover relationships and conflict resolution with Mira Kirshenbaum. Mira is the author of eleven books, the co-founder and clinical director of The Chestnut Hill Institute in Boston, an internationally recognized center for research and psychotherapy for couples, families and individuals, and has been a workshop leader and trainer for medical professionals at Harvard Medical School and other institutions.

     

    Despite what Hollywood tells us, relationships are not easy and are not always pleasant, so why do couples fight, how do we resolve conflicts in a way that both partners can be satisfied with the outcome, and how do we reframe love in the 21st century to be a reasonable goal we can work toward?

     

    What to Listen For

     
    Why Do Couples Fight - 1:57 

     
    Why do couples fight and what do you need to stop doing to prevent future fights?
    Why do we imitate the power moves of our parents in our own relationships?
    What does it mean to feel disempowered in a relationship?
    How do people use distance to hurt their significant other and what can we do to overcome that?

     

     
    The 8 Core Experiences of Love - 11:00 (starts with AJ saying, “When we think about fights…”)

     
    What should you do everyday to build and maintain healthy relationships with the people you care about?
    What does it mean to be fair in a relationship?
    What question should you ask to find out how best to support your significant other when you’re not sure what to do?
    What does it mean to show respect for your significant other?
    Is passion a one time thing in a relationship, or is it cyclical?

     
    Conflict Resolution in Relationships - 28:30 (starts with AJ saying, “Now we had Annie Duke on our show…”)
    How can you use quantification to solve arguments in your relationships?
    What is the 1-2-3 method and how can you use it to stop arguments from blowing up?
    What questions can you ask your partner to better understand their concerns about an issue you two are facing?
    What are the 2 magic questions you should always be ready to ask when you and your partner are facing an issue?
    What can you do to handle the financial side of a relationship so it doesn’t ruin a great partnership?
    What do power moves look like that revolve around money?

     
    Reframing Love in the 21st Century - 46:00
    What is the biggest myth about love in modern times and what can we do to reframe love so it is not based on fairy tales?
    How much work is necessary for maintaining a successful relationship?
    What are the 4 kinds of relationships and what can you learn from them so you know what to avoid in the future?
    What are the most important steps to take and conversations to have before you have children?

     

    Relationships are often portrayed as the happy ending and the beginning of a trouble-free life filled with love and affection. But any healthy relationship is going to take a lot of work and communication - they don’t just happen. People are too different from one another to be able to come to a quick & easy agreement on everything. We all have different beliefs, thoughts, and expectations about love and relationships, and even life. We must be willing to learn about each other and if you want a relationship to last, both of you must put in the work to maintain it.

     

    A Word From Our Sponsors

    Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

     

    Resources from this Episode

    Mira Kirshenbaum on Facebook

    Mira Kirshenbaum on Twitter

    Mira Kirshenbaum’s books on Amazon

    Why Couples Fight by Mira Kirshenbaum

    Annie Duke | The Secret Ingredient to Making the RIGHT Decision When It Really Matters

     

    • 43 min
    Amy Chan | The Secret Ingredients to a Healthy Relationship & Surviving a Breakup

    Amy Chan | The Secret Ingredients to a Healthy Relationship & Surviving a Breakup

    In today’s episode, we cover overcoming breakups with Amy Chan. Amy has been writing about relationships, dating, and love for over a decade, is the Editor-in-Chief of Heart Hackers Club, and is the author of Breakup Bootcamp – The Science of Rewiring Your Heart.

     

    The end of a relationship can be a traumatic experience for many but it doesn’t have to break you - so what can you do to bounce back as an even better version of yourself, how can you learn from the relationship, and what resources can you rely on to help you move on? 

     

    What to Listen For

     
    How Amy Chan Became a Relationship Expert - 0:21

     

     

     
    Breakup Bounce Back and Attachment Theory - 2:19

     
    What can you do to focus on yourself and heal after a breakup rather than blame the ex and other external factors?
    What is Attachment Theory and how does it teach us to view love as we grow up?
    What are the 3 main types of attachment that we learn during our childhood and how do they influence our view of love in adulthood?
    Once you know what your style of attachment is, what can you do to prevent yourself from sabotaging future relationships?
    How do you set healthy boundaries with friends and family after a breakup if they’re constantly trying to give you advice and project their own issues on you?

     
    Learning From the Past for Future Relationships - 21:00
    What exercises can you use to recognize red flags with new potential partners if you have a tendency to jump from one relationship to another?
    How do you identify the baggage that YOU bring into relationships so you don’t let it destroy your relationships?
    What journaling prompts can you use to heal after a breakup?
    Why is breaking up from a relationship similar to breaking an addiction and what can you do to make it as brief and painless as possible?
    Why are rituals important to recovering normalcy after a breakup and what rituals can you start using today?
    How can we make the right choice when we are overwhelmed by dating options in front of us so we don’t waste our time?
    What are the 3 secret ingredients in a healthy relationship foundation?

     
    What is the Breakup Bootcamp - 44:06
    What goes on during Amy Chan’s Breakup Bootcamp?
    What is limerence and how does it keep us in a vicious cycle of hurt?
    What is the biggest myth about how men and women handle breakups? 

     

    The end of a relationship can feel like losing a loved one because your significant other feels like a part of your identity and your future. Losing that part of you, and feeling like a part of your future is ripped out from under you can be a difficult event to recover from, but there are steps you can take to minimize the suffering and move forward as a better stronger version of yourself.

     

    A Word From Our Sponsors

    Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

     

    Resources from this Episode

    Amy Chan on Twitter

    Breakup Bootcamp

    Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart by Amy Chan

     

    Check in with AJ and Johnny!

    AJ on Instagram

    Johnny on Instagram

    The Art of Charm on Instagram

    The Art of Charm on YouTube

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 1 hr
    Therese Huston | How to Manage Criticism Effectively & Make Feedback Your Superpower

    Therese Huston | How to Manage Criticism Effectively & Make Feedback Your Superpower

    In today’s episode, we cover effective feedback with Therese Huston. Therese founded the Center for Excellence in Teaching and Learning at Seattle University, has given more than 225 keynotes, talks, and workshops, and is the author of Let’s Talk: Make Effective Feedback Your Superpower.

     

    Giving great feedback is not easy and poorly worded feedback can put anyone on the defensive, so what does effective feedback look like, what can you do to practice giving great feedback, and why is it important to get better at giving feedback?

     

    What to Listen For

     
    Therese Huston’s Beginning - 0:00

     
    What sparked Therese’s interest in researching the topic of effective feedback?

     

     
    The 3 Different Types of Feedback - 1:49

     
    What are the 3 different types of feedback and how do you put all 3 together to give the best feedback?
    How do you give genuine appreciation and use it to transition into coaching feedback?
    What is coaching and how is it different from pointing out what someone is doing wrong?
    What does it mean to separate the person from the problem when giving feedback and why is it important if you don’t want the person to get defensive? 
    Why does the feedback sandwich receive so much criticism and what is the correct way to use the technique?

     

     
    Cultivating a Growth Mindset Receptive to Feedback - 17:48

     
    What can you do to cultivate a growth mindset in your managers so they can work with their employees rather than against them?
    Why do you need to state your intentions as a manager when giving feedback? 
    What is the difference between a “me strength” and a “we strength” and why can a deficiency in one lead to a team’s failure?

     
    How to be a Better Leader and Team Member - 31:55
    What are the different types of listening and why is it crucial to use one instead of the other? 
    What is critical listening and why can critical listening in the wrong situation lead to a breakdown in communication?
    What can you do as a manager to ask better questions and thus get better results?
    What can you do to bring out the potential in younger employees?
    How do you move past unconscious bias in the workplace?
    What challenges does working remotely introduce into the process of giving effective feedback and what can you do to overcome them?

     

    Giving feedback can feel like a delicate balance between being too harsh and being too nice. On one hand, if we’re afraid to hurt their feelings, we might sugarcoat the issues and fail to impress upon them just how important it is that they improve. On the other hand, we want to be clear with people about what we want them to work on and why it’s important they improve, but it can be easy to overwhelm them with what they’re doing wrong and turn them against us. 

     

    A Word From Our Sponsors

    Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

     

    Resources from this Episode

    Therese Huston’s website

    Let’s Talk: Make Effective Feedback Your Superpower by Therese Huston

    Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well

     

    Check in with AJ and Johnny!

    AJ on Instagram

    Johnny on Instagram

    The Art of Charm on Instagram

    The Art of Charm on YouTube

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 1 hr 7 min
    Steven Kotler | The Secret to Flow State & 6 Steps to Recovering from Burnout

    Steven Kotler | The Secret to Flow State & 6 Steps to Recovering from Burnout

    In today’s episode, we cover flow state with Steven Kotler. Steven is the founder and executive director of the Flow Research Collective, and is the author of nine international bestsellers including The Rise of Superman and Stealing Fire, and has a new book, The Art of Impossible - A Peak Performance Primer, coming out this month.

     

    Flow state is an amazing aspect of the human experience that can boost your productivity to untold levels, but why is it also important to our happiness and strength as a community, how do you tap into it in your daily life, and what is the biggest myth surrounding flow state? 

     

    What to Listen For

     
    Steven Kotler’s Introduction - 0:00
    What is Flow State and How Do You Get Into It - 10:40

     
    What is flow state and how do you get into it?
    What is flow state and why is it important for our satisfaction and community strength?
    What are the 6 core characteristics of flow state?
    Why does time seem to slow down when in flow state?
    Are we doing damage to our children by not pushing them to play outside and experience the flow state early on?
    What happens biologically when we find ourselves in flow state?
    What are flow triggers and how can we use them to get into flow when we most need it?
    What is the first rule of improv and why is it integral to getting into flow state in a conversation?

     

     
    The Myth About Flow State - 31:45

     
    What is the biggest myth around flow state?

     

     
    Taking Care of Your Mind When You’re Pushing Yourself - 33:46

     
    What can you do if you are worried about burn out?
    How are anxiety and flow state connected, and what can you do to manage your anxiety so it doesn’t kill your flow state?
    Why do affirmations not work while gratitude does work?
    What is the difference between active recovery and passive recovery and why does one pale in comparison to the other?

     

    Entering into flow state used to be something associated with artists and athletes, but science has shown it is accessible to anyone with the ability to focus. Being in a flow state is a result of focusing on a task to the point where you’re not trying to think - all of your thoughts and actions simply flow. But tapping into your flow state, as with anything, requires consistent practice with whatever it is you are doing, and a willingness to focus without distraction.

     

    A Word From Our Sponsors

    Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

     

    Resources from this Episode

    Steven Kotler’s website

    The Art of Impossible: A Peak Performance Primer by Steven Kotler

    Stealing Fire by Steven Kotler

    Passion Recipe

     

    Check in with AJ and Johnny!

    AJ on Instagram

    Johnny on Instagram

    The Art of Charm on Instagram

    The Art of Charm on YouTube

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 1 hr 15 min
    Doug Bopst | The Obvious Secret to Conquering Addiction & 3 Steps to Building a Better Life

    Doug Bopst | The Obvious Secret to Conquering Addiction & 3 Steps to Building a Better Life

    In today’s episode, we cover how to conquer addiction with Doug Bopst. Doug is an award-winning personal trainer, author, speaker, and business owner, who turned his life around from felon and drug addict to help countless individuals build the confidence and strength to succeed in life. 

     

    Substance abuse and addiction goes beyond simply using drugs to experience a temporary high, so what can you do to identify the cause of an addiction, how can you rebuild your life after addiction, and why is physical exercise so important in the recovery process?

     

    What to Listen For

     
    Doug Bopst’s Story - 0:00

     
    What made Doug turn his life around after being convicted of a felony?
    How did Doug Bopst’s childhood lead to addiction and crime? 

     

     
    Improving Your Life After Addiction - 8:25 (Starts with Johnny saying, “If that energy isn’t channeled…”)

     
    What can you do to remove toxic relationships from your life?
    How do you leave one social circle to build a new one?
    What do you look for if you want to make new friends that won’t lead you down a path dangerous to your future?

     

     
    Conquering Addiction - 21:50 (Starts with AJ saying, “What I want to talk about is…”)

     
    How do you break an addiction without simply ending it and replacing it with another as many do?
    Why is physical exercise so important when it comes to maintaining a healthy body and mind in addiction recovery?
    What can you do to build will power so you can build a healthier lifestyle to replace your addiction?

     
    Building Relationships After Addiction - 31:55 (Starts with AJ saying, “Absolutely, that deep why is such an important part…”)
    What can you do to repair the bridges you burned while you were battling addiction?
    What happened to the cellmate who inspired Doug Bopst to turn his life around and become the best version of himself?

     

    The source of addiction is not simply wanting a high, but filling a void that can exist in all of us due to pain, trauma, loss, a lack of love, etc. What this means for those suffering from addiction is that the pain is still there even if you stop abusing the substance in question. Addicts use in order to fill that void, so to properly recover, you must find a healthy way of slowly filling the emptiness with a love for yourself. You must become the source of your own fulfillment and happiness.

     

    A Word From Our Sponsors

    Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

     

    Resources from this Episode

    Doug Bopst website

    The Adversity Advantage Podcast - hosted by Doug Bopst

    From Felony to Fitness to Free: Everybody deserves a second chance

    AoC Podcast - BJ Fogg | The Biggest Myth About Habit Formation

     

    Check in with AJ and Johnny!

    AJ on Instagram

    Johnny on Instagram

    The Art of Charm on Instagram

    The Art of Charm on YouTube

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 47 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
23 Ratings

23 Ratings

A-muser ,

Addictive

The Art of Charm is addictive, one of my favourite podcasts. Jordan, who is the host, runs it in a very professional and super engaging way. Despite 500 episodes (Congratulations!) you want to listen even more as the range of topics is vast, be it professional development, dating, business or work. Leave everything and everyone better than you found it and it sounds genuine, gives a good vibe. Check out episodes with Carol Dweck, Seth Godin or Cal Newport.

gordonmarkj ,

This is essential listening

If you're intersted in improving your lot in life and not letting life happen to you, listening to The Art of Charm podcast will help you lift both your inner and outer game.

Art Of Charm is a "must subscribe" as the combination of high quality content, production values and professionism of the production team is remarkably high.

Niall Dennehy ,

Art of Business

So good I had to update my original review. Jordan must be extremely generous to give away all this information for free! Seriously, you will find some stuff here that will help you see the world in a different way. Keep it up

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