17 episodes

Hello! We’re Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed-Turrell. And for over 20 years, we’ve been best friends. Elizabeth is a broadcaster and author. Emma is a psychotherapist. Best Friend Therapy is where we chat about what’s on our minds to get deeper in our minds.
Every week, we talk about how to tackle the challenges we face in daily life with honesty, compassion and practical wisdom. This is a podcast that holds your hand through the tough times and offers reassurance on the days you might need it. Feed your soul with nourishing conversations from two best friends, one therapist - and zero filter.

Best Friend Therapy Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell

    • Society & Culture

Hello! We’re Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed-Turrell. And for over 20 years, we’ve been best friends. Elizabeth is a broadcaster and author. Emma is a psychotherapist. Best Friend Therapy is where we chat about what’s on our minds to get deeper in our minds.
Every week, we talk about how to tackle the challenges we face in daily life with honesty, compassion and practical wisdom. This is a podcast that holds your hand through the tough times and offers reassurance on the days you might need it. Feed your soul with nourishing conversations from two best friends, one therapist - and zero filter.

    S2, Ep 8 Best Friend Therapy: Quitting - Is it the same as giving up? Can we quit well? What's the risk if we don't quit?

    S2, Ep 8 Best Friend Therapy: Quitting - Is it the same as giving up? Can we quit well? What's the risk if we don't quit?

    Welcome to Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds, and we've come to end of Season Two already!

    So we're throwing in the towel, we're giving up, we're admitting defeat - oh no, wait a minute, we're not actually quitting, we're just *talking* about quitting this week. Phew!

    We would never abandon our lovely listeners because quitting is a bad thing... it's an admission of failure... it's a sign of weakness. Right?

    Well, it turns out we're not so sure and this week we'll be exploring whether quitting gets a bad press it doesn't deserve. Whether quitting can also be an active way to end something with agency. Whether fear of the unknown keeps us doing what we know, even when that unknown could be a better job, a happier relationship or an outcome that feels right.

    We explore how to quit aspects of a situation if you aren’t ready or able to quit altogether, and we ponder whether, if something quits you, was it even right for you in the first place?

    Elizabeth wrestles with how to quit therapy and Emma quits trying to save everybody else.

    ---

    Elizabeth references 'Adapted Child' from Eric Berne's P-A-C model which is brilliantly explained in this text: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Today-New-Introduction-Transactional-Analysis/dp/1870244028/ref=sr_1_2?adgrpid=52680008869&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9ZGYBhCEARIsAEUXITUSzQNTHrxFAt0SFN2S32O6YIlGcfQ533iG6z_dqO5i5w2s9oBuMdYaAmnUEALw_wcB&hvadid=259035468682&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9045783&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=9682401238517000128&hvtargid=kwd-298703266987&hydadcr=3222_1824632&keywords=ta+today&qid=1661272526&sr=8-2

    You can listen to Eckhart Tolle on Super Soul Sundays with Oprah Winfrey here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/eckhart-tolle-session-the-awakening-of-consciousness/id1264843400?i=1000443295402

    Elizabeth Kubler Ross on the Grief Cycle: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Grief-Grieving-Finding-Meaning-Through/dp/0743263448

    Emma uses the Gestalt terms, 'figure' and 'field' and a great introduction to Gestalt psychotherapy can be found here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Gestalt-Counselling-Helping-People-Change/dp/0863881335

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    Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk

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    Social Media:

    Elizabeth Day @elizabday

    Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

    Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

    • 46 min
    S2, Ep 7 Best Friend Therapy: Transactional Analysis Therapy - What is it? What happens when Emma therapises Elizabeth live on air?

    S2, Ep 7 Best Friend Therapy: Transactional Analysis Therapy - What is it? What happens when Emma therapises Elizabeth live on air?

    Welcome to Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds, and this week we're doing something a little bit different.

    We're going down the rabbit hole and we're taking you with us, as Emma therapises the hell out of Elizabeth.

    Using Transactional Analysis techniques, Emma takes Elizabeth on a journey of self-discovery and hopefully sets you up to do the same. Bring a question or a situation of your own and follow along, as you discover your internal voices and find your way to an Adult way of seeing things.

    Find out why Emma loves a game of hopscotch, and why you wouldn't want to meet Silvana down a dark alley.

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    This episode is based on the work of Eric Berne, who you can find out about here: https://ericberne.com

    And you can learn more about Transactional Analysis in a brilliantly accessible text here:
    https://www.amazon.co.uk/Today-New-Introduction-Transactional-Analysis/dp/1870244028/ref=sr_1_2?adgrpid=52680008869&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9ZGYBhCEARIsAEUXITXUrgNprG_RpeBC-2woMc3QgCJdfhqCTO2i_dkAsPSPWv-_e4s0EBYaAi9OEALw_wcB&hvadid=259035468682&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9045783&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=3426000332817789466&hvtargid=kwd-298703266987&hydadcr=3222_1824632&keywords=ta+today&qid=1661272287&sr=8-2

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    Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk

    ---

    Social Media:

    Elizabeth Day @elizabday

    Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

    Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

    • 45 min
    S2, Ep 6 Best Friend Therapy: Divorce - Is it failure or evolution? How does it affect wider relationships? Is there a way to divorce well?

    S2, Ep 6 Best Friend Therapy: Divorce - Is it failure or evolution? How does it affect wider relationships? Is there a way to divorce well?

    Welcome to Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds, and this week we're turning up the volume on some Tammy Wynette (not Dolly Parton, Emma) to talk about D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

    Stigmatised by society as a shameful failure, or presented as an opportunity to grow and evolve, divorce (as the name suggests) can be divisive.

    We challenge the notion that a long-lasting marriage is a successful one, draw a distinction between "fair" and "equal" when it comes to co-parenting, and discuss the friendship and family fall-out that can come as a by-product of divorce.

    Elizabeth shares her personal experience of divorce and takes Emma on a magical mystery tour through Elizabeth's experiences of dating in the aftermath. Roar.

    ---

    "Conscious Uncoupling: The 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After" by Katherine Woodward Thomas is available here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Conscious-Uncoupling-Steps-Living-Happily/dp/1473619327/ref=asc_df_1473619327/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=310973726618&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14366100668256074437&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1007093&hvtargid=pla-453601331467&psc=1&th=1&psc=1

    "For One More Day" by Mitch Albom is available here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/One-More-Day-Mitch-Albom/dp/0751537500/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3R5XSEXF4TC61&keywords=for+one+more+day&qid=1660723850&s=books&sprefix=for+one+more+day%2Cstripbooks%2C111&sr=1-1

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    Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk

    ---

    Social Media:

    Elizabeth Day @elizabday

    Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

    Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

    • 49 min
    S2, Ep 5 Best Friend Therapy: Feelings - Why do we have feelings? What should we do with them? Is anxiety a masking emotion?

    S2, Ep 5 Best Friend Therapy: Feelings - Why do we have feelings? What should we do with them? Is anxiety a masking emotion?

    Welcome to Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds, and this week we're bringing you a Feelings 101 - everything you ever needed to know about what we feel, why we feel, and how feelings can be our best guides when it comes to meeting our needs.

    Sadness, anger, fear, joy, jealousy, envy, guilt or shame. Pick your poison. There's a feeling for every situation and an action required for every feeling. This week we join the dots to help you know what action you need to take, to feel more authentic and empowered in life.

    Emma explains the 'core feelings' and the needs they signal, and Elizabeth tries to disarm her with the cuteness of a baby deer.

    ---

    This week we reference some previous episodes of Best Friend Therapy: Games, Competition, Imposter Syndrome from Season 1, and Jealousy from Season 2.

    "Good Reasons for Bad Feelings" is by Randolph M. Nesse: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Good-Reasons-Bad-Feelings-Evolutionary/dp/0241291089

    Accessible and informative summaries of Richard Erskine's work on 'Racket Feelings', Jackie Schiff's work on 'Reparenting' and Eric Berne's 'Parent-Adult-Child' model can all be found in a fantastic book called "TA Today" by Ian Stewart and Vann Joines: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Today-New-Introduction-Transactional-Analysis/dp/1870244028

    And thank you Merriam-Webster for confirming the true etymology of the 'fawn' response: Middle English speakers adapted an Old English word meaning "to rejoice" to create the verb faunen, which shifted in spelling over time to become fawn. That Old English word, in turn, derives from fagan, meaning "glad." Fagan is also an ancestor of the English adjective fain, whose earliest (now obsolete) meaning is "happy" or "pleased." This fawn is not, however, related to the noun fawn, referring to a young deer. For that we can thank the Latin noun fetus, meaning "offspring." Sorry Liz.

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    Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk

    ---

    Social Media:

    Elizabeth Day @elizabday

    Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

    Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

    • 45 min
    S2, Ep 4 Best Friend Therapy: Toxic Friendships - How do we define friendship? What makes a friendship toxic? What can we do about it?

    S2, Ep 4 Best Friend Therapy: Toxic Friendships - How do we define friendship? What makes a friendship toxic? What can we do about it?

    Welcome to Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds, and this week we're talking about a hotly requested topic - toxic friendships.

    We talk about how the pandemic reset friendship protocol for many of us, how introverts and extroverts get along, different definitions of friendship and what a co-dependent friendship feels like.

    We practice using conflict constructively to negotiate healthy friendship boundaries and we tackle that dreaded question, how do you break up with a friend?

    Elizabeth gets her head around the concept of friendship dating and Emma introduces the idea of a friendship Venn diagram. She loves a diagram.

    ---

    Elizabeth refers to our first episode of Season 2 about People-Pleasing, which you can listen to here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/s2-ep1-best-friend-therapy-people-pleasing-why-do-we/id1614793299?i=1000570241594

    Glennon Doyle's podcast "We Can Do Hard Things" can be heard here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/we-can-do-hard-things-with-glennon-doyle/id1564530722

    ---

    Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk

    ---

    Social Media:

    Elizabeth Day @elizabday

    Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

    Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

    • 47 min
    S2, Ep 3 Best Friend Therapy: Jealousy - Why do we feel jealous? How does it affect our relationships? What can we do about it?

    S2, Ep 3 Best Friend Therapy: Jealousy - Why do we feel jealous? How does it affect our relationships? What can we do about it?

    Welcome to Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds, and this week we're talking about jealousy.

    Do you have a touch of the green-eyed monster?

    Well, that might not be a bad thing. Because jealousy can show up to tell us when a relationship we value requires some maintenance - we jealously guard something because it matters to us.

    Sometimes that relationship will be with a friend or loved one, but sometimes the relationship that needs our attention is the one we have with ourselves.

    In this episode, Elizabeth and Emma share with brutal honesty the times in their lives they have felt jealous, and Emma challenges the dangerous idea that we should feel flattered or gracious when someone else is jealous of us.

    Emma reveals her avoidant side and why she'd rather just play in a different sandpit, and Elizabeth reveals that she can get you whatever you need from the Dark Web. JK.

    ---

    Elizabeth's How to Fail episode with Alain de Botton can be heard here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-to-fail-with-elizabeth-day/id1407451189?i=1000452022015

    Emma talks about the work of Freud and Bowlby in terms of attachment and object relations, you can read more about it here:

    https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/best-friend-therapy/id1614793299?i=1000556922612

    You can listen to the BFT episodes of Shoulds and Oughts and Special Occasions here:

    https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/best-friend-therapy/id1614793299?i=1000556922612
    https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/best-friend-therapy/id1614793299?i=1000556922612

    ---

    Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk

    ---

    Social Media:

    Elizabeth Day @elizabday

    Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

    Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

    • 45 min

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