CAOS Alan Sharland

In this video and podcast, Alan discusses how reference to the 'bystander effect' doesn't apply to bullying allegations because bullying is a subjective experience, seen by 'bystanders' in different ways, without necessarily seeing a clear 'perpetrator/victim' interaction, unlike for the usual application of the idea for crimes and other more clearly distinguished situations. 

While many do not see bullying as subjective, particularly if they feel they have been a victim of it, it is unlikely that all 'bystanders' will agree or perhaps even notice, unlike for a more clearly noticeable event like a crime or murder in which the Bystander Effect was originally identified.

The damaging outcome of applying such an idea can also mean people who feel bullied then feel betrayed by those nearby and thus more isolated when it is an unrealistic expectation to have in the first place that all present will notice such events happening, and further still, interpret them in the same way.

This is the article Alan is referring to in the video: https://theconversation.com/bullying-why-most-people-do-nothing-when-they-witness-it-and-how-to-take-action-181746

This is the YouTube video of the original podcast. 

Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 27 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk 

Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland

Train in the CAOS Model of Mediation: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html 

Train in the CAOS Model of Conflict Coaching: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html 

Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/ 

Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com

Books and ebooks:  

How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316 

A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 

CREDITS 

Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200

In this video and podcast Alan comments on the prevalence of many support services that are described as 'client-led' or 'person-centred' but in practice are not. 

Often the priority focus is on fulfilling system outcome targets or practitioner agendas or both and the client's experience of the process is secondary. One of the ways this is de-prioritised is in the approaches to measurement of the 'success' or effectiveness of the service which will often also be system or practitioner defined and decided 'for' the client or 'about' them and their qualitative experience of the process is not considered. Alan outlines in the video the many ways in which this important distinction shows up.

To watch the YouTube video of this podcast visit this link: https://youtu.be/ycxGMpyJ4RU

Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 27 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk

Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland 

Train in the CAOS Model of Mediation: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html 

Train in the CAOS Model of Conflict Coaching: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html 

Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/ 

Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com

Books and ebooks:  

How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316 

A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 

CREDITS 

Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200

In this podcast I am joined again by Melloney Guiver, The HR Lawyer, to discuss psychological safety at work, in particular the many crossovers between the 'ethos' of some approaches to mediation and the themes and intentions of promoting psychological safety at work, as particularly highlighted by the work of Amy Edmondson and Timothy Clarke.

If you'd like to watch the YouTube video of this podcast please go to this link: https://youtu.be/TgXOWdvIJkk

Chapter headings as follows: 

00:00 Introductions to mediators and establishment of topics for discussion within the theme of Psychological Safety at Work  

07:30 Themes for discussion: Where some models of mediation and the ethos of psychological safety 'meet'; Diversity and Inclusion - how mediation practices and a psychologically 'safe' experience of workplaces can support useful discussions in these areas; The link between effective health and safety support and whether. the approach is 'parent-child' or 'adult-adult'.

09:05 Where mediation and psychological safety 'meet'

28:40 Health and Safety and Welfare at Work - policies, implementation. Relevance to Psychological Safety at Work.

42:40 Diversity and Inclusion - how mediation practices and a psychologically 'safe' experience of workplaces can support useful discussions in these areas.

54:15 On to a broader discussion about various aspects relating to the 3 main themes.

01:00:35 The delusion that a manager or leader should have the skills and capacities to 'give' or 'deliver' psychological safety 'to' staff and how that 'parent-child' expectation means such beliefs will inhibit its development in a workplace.

01:21:30 Review of topics and end...

Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 27 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others.

He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk 

Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland 

Train in the CAOS Model of Mediation: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html 

Train in the CAOS Model of Conflict Coaching: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html 

Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/ 

Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com 

Books and ebooks:  How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316 

A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 

CREDITS 

Outro Music: 

All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200

Song: Gently, Onwards Artist ELPHNT : Album: Gently, Onwards : Licensed to YouTube by: YouTube Audio Library

WHAT IS EFFECTIVE ACTIVE LISTENING? 

How to practise effective active listening. 

This podcast explores the importance and application of EAL in 3 main areas: 

1. Effective Active Listening for supporting conflict resolution 

2. Effective Active Listening for supporting people with mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety, and other challenges 

3. The relevance of Effective Active Listening for Psychological Safety at Work - how interactions that support and promote psychological safety at work can include an awareness of what constituted effective active listening.

The video of this podcast has some visual annotations so if you would like to watch it on youtube this is the link: https://youtu.be/gij5VlRPq80

Please share your thoughts and questions in the comments section.   

Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 27 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk 

Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland 

Train in the CAOS Model of Mediation: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html 

Train in the CAOS Model of Conflict Coaching: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html 

Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/ 

Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com 

Books and ebooks:  How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316 

A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. 

Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 CREDITS 

Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200

Why psychological safety requires an ‘adult-adult’ approach and not ‘parent-child’.  

In this video and podcast, Alan discusses the risks to an environment of psychological safety at work when the approach taken is a 'parent-child' one. He outlines features of commentaries that he has come across that can imply people at work start with a 'blank slate', having no real conception or awareness of their own capacity for developing their own psychological safety at work. 

But people will always bring their own awareness and capacities for this whether they label it as psychological safety or not and so to use an approach that can suggest it has to be 'created for' employees and team members rather than for them to develop and grow it for themselves, together, as peers is akin to a 'parent-child' approach rather than an 'adult-adult' one.   

Alan looks at two ways in which he has seen this and characterises them as 'the blank slate' idea and the  'It's organic, not linear' critique. 

This is the link to the video interview referred to at 4:15 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5O-CbvTfcqk 

Please share your thoughts and questions in the comments section.   

Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 27 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. 

He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk 

Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland 

Train in the CAOS Model of Mediation: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html 

Train in the CAOS Model of Conflict Coaching: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html 

Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/ 

Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com 

Books and ebooks:  

How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316 

A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 

CREDITS 

Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200

Listening Skills to Support People with Mental Health Challenges. Are You Witnessing or Assessing?  

In this video and podcast Alan talks about the distinction between listening to people who feel vulnerable in order to 'witness' their personal difficulties, possibly mental health challenges, and listening in order to 'assess' them for some further action such as signposting, diagnosing or prescribing.   

Both types of listening are important but it's also important for the person being listened to, to understand which they are to experience. There is sometimes a risk that being listened to in order to be 'assessed' can lead people to feel they are losing control of their situation and they are being 'told' or directed to do something as a consequence of their difficulty, and sensitivity to this possibility is important.   

Listening as 'witnessing' is providing a respectful 'space' in which they can share their sense of vulnerability or despair or worries without any risk of it being 'taken over' but simply with the intention of giving that person a chance to 'be with themselves' and their difficulties with the support of someone being with them, alongside them but not intervening in any way.  

Please share your thoughts and questions in the comments section.   

Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 27 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. 

He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk 

Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland 

Train in the CAOS Model of Mediation: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html 

Train in the CAOS Model of Conflict Coaching: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html 

Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/ 

Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com 

Books and ebooks:  

How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316 

A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 

CREDITS Outro Music: 

Gently onwards, youtube free music library