I Think I Love You

Riley & Caro
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Falling in love with someone is easy. Staying in love with the same person, year after year, is much harder. That's why we're recording an hour of conversation every week of our first year of marriage. For us, it’s a way to dig into our fascination with one another and this existential question of lasting love. For you, it’s an invitation to creep on our marriage as it unfolds, mistake by mistake and lesson by lesson, since no one ever really told us about theirs. We’ll work through fights, expose probably too much of our sex life, and try to get to answers for how to stay in love in this little human experiment called I Think I Love You. Riley & Caro Consider also seeking out podcasts created by black people, as well as those which aim to shed further light on systemic racism in America. A few suggestions: @nprcodeswitch , @yoisthisracist , the 1619 project by the @nytimes, “74 Seconds” (which tells the story of Philando Castile’s murder), and @livvperez’s podcast are a few that come to mind.

  1. 18/10/2020

    A WHOLE YEAR IN

    No links or resources in this one. This one is for us, though I suppose every recording has aspired to that ideal -- a time capsule of our marriage. "Objective," or at least truthful, to the best of our ability. Pointed at our own growth. And shared publicly because it feels meaningful, inspires more conversations, and contributes, again, to growth. Thank you for listening, for sharing, for reaching out, to us, or to your partner. Riley & Caro Week 52   Acknowledgments Thanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro and outro music; and, of course, @mollylophotographyand @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

    1h 6m

  2. 11/10/2020

    Week Fifty One: What Are You Into?

    What are you into? What do you like? What gets you excited? These seem like super simple questions, at face value — but for some reason, it didn’t occur to either of us to ask each other anything like that at the beginning of our relationship. Even now, it feels weirdly blunt (even for me, a proudly blunt question-asker) to just ASK Riley what he wants from our sex/sensual life. In this conversation, we ask one another these questions. We also talk about the emotions that explain why we’ve never asked them before (primarily a strong cocktail of fear and embarrassment). I talk about the particular challenge women face in answering these questions (namely, that I don’t KNOW what I’m into), and we take a nice little walk down memory road and share some stories from our sexual histories (plot twist: Riley’s “road” is far longer than mine).  -Carolina Ballerina  Acknowledgments Thanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro and outro music; and, of course, @mollylophotographyand @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

    51 min

  3. 04/10/2020

    Week Forty Nine: You Wanna Talk About Poop And Sex?

    As we discuss, we had such an incredible response to our last conversation, opening up about the ways we continue to struggle with our sex life.  Kind people reached out to empathize and share their nearly identical feelings and experiences, and I think Caroline and I were both surprised to discover how much shame we had each been feeling, and how much hearing from others helped us in leaving that shame behind and thinking about growth. People also reached out with books, podcasts, and online education programs. Come As You Are (Emily Nagoski)Wild Feminine (Tami Lynn Kent)OMG YES (web-based class on sex techniques)Pussy, A Reclamation (Regena Thomashauer)Shameless Sex (podcast)Orgasmic Enlightenment (podcast)An observation: sex education resources and sex positivity culture, at least what I've been exposed to, are dominated by white educators and creators. If anyone has been exposed to a broader, better view (or deeper research on  this observation) please share. We also reference Resmaa Menakem's red-pill-relevation book My Grandmother's Hands, and couldn't remember his name! There it is, and a Bookshop link to buy. Riley     Acknowledgments Thanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro and outro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

    57 min

  4. 27/09/2020

    Week Forty Eight: Do We Need a Sex Therapist?

    Talking about sex is really hard in any given situation, let alone when it's with your life partner and you're both speaking into a literal megaphone about your perceived failures as a couple. In this conversation, Riley and I hit on pretty much every pain point I could personally think of, when it comes to our shared intimacy: his perception of not feeling wanted by me, my perception of the world viewing me as a terrible wife, and the broader cultural norms that we both have to wade through every damn day, which tend to prioritize Riley's pleasure over mine, and which are a real mind f*ck to dismantle in your own head, even when your partner is supportive as hell.  On a personal level, I hope that this terrifyingly vulnerable conversation makes at least one other person feel a little bit less alone. Figuring out how to prioritize your own pleasure can often feel like an impossible battle, given what a challenge it can be to understand what makes your pleasure clock tick to begin with.  Acknowledgments Thanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro and outro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

    1h 2m

  5. 20/09/2020

    Week Forty Seven: Introducing The Edible Games

    Incredibly loose timestamping runs as follows:  Highs (eh? eh?) and lows (00:05:00)Trust, respect, and communication in shared projects (00:10:00)Butting heads on the b******t of budgeting (00:32:00)We lose the edible game (00:50:00)We silently follow a fly around the room  (01:04:00)As I note in the conversation, The Edible Games will not be a frequently recurring series within the podcast. Which will come as no surprise after listening to the degradation of this conversation, or the stories of my remarkably low tolerance. Important Background Getting high on my podcast is a dramatic flaunting of privilege that demands a deeper look at three incontrovertible truths: The criminalization of marijuana is and always has been a tool of racial injustice.The new white-dominated industry springing up in states with legal cannabis is perpetuating, if not actively exacerbating, the disenfranchisement of Black people and other groups that have been (and continue to be) the target of the decades-long war on drugs.To even begin to reconcile with our history of systemic racism in drug-related law enforcement, we must  (1) quickly develop and enact explicitly anti-racist policies, including, at a minimum, expungement of marijuana related criminal records, and reinvestment of public and private proceeds back into communities most harmed by past enforcement; and (2) (as a necessary precondition for 1) federal legalization.Read, Listen, Act The ACLU does a pretty good job with the high level current conversation here (https://bit.ly/2Hhvlh4),  and NPR gives a short (4 min listen) history of the explicitly racist origins of marijuana criminalization in the 30s here (https://n.pr/2EmezMG).   Read about the MORE Act (Marijuana Opportunity Reinvestment and Expungement) here (https://bit.ly/3ceus46), which would be the most significant federal legislative development on marijuana policy in 50 years — and is actually set to pass soon,  after COVID relief gets sorted and we get past the presidential election.  You can write your Congressional representatives to get them to cosponsor. You can buy Black-owned cannabis, using resources like Cannaclusive's InclusiveBase here (https://bit.ly/2EiLGRv) or this state-based list of highlights from GreenEntrepreneur here (https://bit.ly/3hJaXlj). And you can follow the development of the MORE Act and get involved in how it manifests in your state. Marijuana reform will not solve systemic racism. No single thing will. Systemic problems require networked solutions, of which this is an important node.   Acknowledgments Thanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro and outro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

    1h 9m

  6. 13/09/2020

    Weeks Forty Five and Six: I'll Have the Last Laugh

    When you've gotten yourself entangled in a marriage* where neither one of you fully understands finances, it becomes necessary for a change to be made. That's why I, Caro Bambino, have taken it upon myself to sign up for a finance course this fall, thereby changing the course of our tiny, insignificant lives forever. In this conversation, we chat about that course, along with the approach I plan on having to our shared financial future. We also talk about how cool it's been to see Riley literally teach himself a really complicated and useful skill during the airstream renovation, and Riley asks me how it feels when I shared information about the pod on social media to a resounding audience of crickets. We're still exploring how we feel about the idea of creating a separate account for this project — if you see one pop up on your feed soon, that'll be your answer. -Caro, Queen of the North *yes, that's how I describe my relationship with Riley Acknowledgments Thanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro and outro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

    57 min

  7. 06/09/2020

    Week Forty Four: Two Is the Loneliest Number

    In this conversation, Riley and I talk about this type of loneliness — the challenges of moving through a new phase of life alone, with respect to your peers. And conversely, whether that type of peer affirmation matters at all at certain milestones, or if instead, that desire is a phenomenon manufactured by the pop culture we've been raised by. Anyway, I imagine a lot of people have felt a bit lonely this summer under quarantine — I'd love to hear from anyone (married, single, in between or otherwise) who has troubleshooting advice. -Caro I-haven't-changed-my-last-name-yet-probably-won't-ever Burke   Acknowledgments Thanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro and outro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

    58 min

  8. 30/08/2020

    Week Forty Three: Where to Begin

    Riley and I talk about why we stopped recording and sharing, and why we decided to start again. It's difficult and complicated and important, for us, and if you've had similar conversations or better approaches, please share back.  The book we talk about this week is The Color of Law by Richard Rothstein. Listen to it via Audible, or listen to the author speak with Ari Shapiro from NPR. The podcast is Nice White Parents from the New York Times. Acknowledgments Thanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro and outro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

    1h 32m
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About

Falling in love with someone is easy. Staying in love with the same person, year after year, is much harder. That's why we're recording an hour of conversation every week of our first year of marriage. For us, it’s a way to dig into our fascination with one another and this existential question of lasting love. For you, it’s an invitation to creep on our marriage as it unfolds, mistake by mistake and lesson by lesson, since no one ever really told us about theirs. We’ll work through fights, expose probably too much of our sex life, and try to get to answers for how to stay in love in this little human experiment called I Think I Love You. Riley & Caro Consider also seeking out podcasts created by black people, as well as those which aim to shed further light on systemic racism in America. A few suggestions: @nprcodeswitch , @yoisthisracist , the 1619 project by the @nytimes, “74 Seconds” (which tells the story of Philando Castile’s murder), and @livvperez’s podcast are a few that come to mind.

Information

  • Creator
    Riley & Caro
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    22
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2020 Riley & Caro
  • Show Website
    I Think I Love You