Guest Post (Slow): the Bespoke Joke Bloke - Office Gossip (Series 004, Episode 002) Hear English (from the Full English Experience)

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Hear English presents a guest post from professional comedy writer: Joel, aka the Bespoke Joke Bloke www.bespokejokebloke.co.uk OFFICE GOSSIP (Slow)You can get the mp.3 here.  Too slow? Try the faster version in the following post.   Normal 0 0 1 264 1506 12 3 1849 11.1282 0 0 0 Cooee,  nice to see you.  How’s your first day?  How’s everyone treating you?  Nicely?  Really?  Even Jill?  Oh that’s nice.  I’m amazed she can still smile; she says it was Bell’s palsy but I think it was Botox.  So you can see how special it was for her to smile for you. Have you got a boyfriend?  You can tell me I’m really discreet. I mean just ask Jennifer.  I didn’t tell anyone when she was going out with Brian from reprographics, who was married to Jessy in accounts.  They ended up getting divorced and Jennifer had a telling off from HR.  I mean who’d gossip about that and get her into trouble?  I reckon it was Harry the guy who does security.  It’s not his fault, he just likes a drink.  At lunch time, tea time, well most of the time.  Poor guy stuck on that desk all day long.  Do you like a drink? Oh, me? No, never.  Ever come into work with a hangover? Me? No, never…so, do you have a boyfriend? Do you think any of the guys working here are hot? Oh no, workplace romances are always trouble.  Take Jennifer: I mean, she had to take 2 months off work.  She said it was back strain, but, my mate, who works down the pub and knows someone in the NHS, said she had a breakdown and was in a mental hospital.  Like that Jill, who went on a 6 week holiday to see her cousin in Australia, but, I reckon she was having a boob job.  She went out a C and came back a D; I don’t think the sun made them grow big. So have you heard any good gossip?  C’mon you’re new; everyone’s indiscreet with the newbie.  It’s about me? What could there be about me? Oh, that I’m on a final written warning and performance improvement notice for bullying and harassing other staff members.  Well if having a chat is what the company views as harassment that’s their problem.  Do I have a boyfriend? That’s none of your business! www.bespokejokebloke.co.uk

Hear English presents a guest post from professional comedy writer: Joel, aka the Bespoke Joke Bloke www.bespokejokebloke.co.uk OFFICE GOSSIP (Slow)You can get the mp.3 here.  Too slow? Try the faster version in the following post.   Normal 0 0 1 264 1506 12 3 1849 11.1282 0 0 0 Cooee,  nice to see you.  How’s your first day?  How’s everyone treating you?  Nicely?  Really?  Even Jill?  Oh that’s nice.  I’m amazed she can still smile; she says it was Bell’s palsy but I think it was Botox.  So you can see how special it was for her to smile for you. Have you got a boyfriend?  You can tell me I’m really discreet. I mean just ask Jennifer.  I didn’t tell anyone when she was going out with Brian from reprographics, who was married to Jessy in accounts.  They ended up getting divorced and Jennifer had a telling off from HR.  I mean who’d gossip about that and get her into trouble?  I reckon it was Harry the guy who does security.  It’s not his fault, he just likes a drink.  At lunch time, tea time, well most of the time.  Poor guy stuck on that desk all day long.  Do you like a drink? Oh, me? No, never.  Ever come into work with a hangover? Me? No, never…so, do you have a boyfriend? Do you think any of the guys working here are hot? Oh no, workplace romances are always trouble.  Take Jennifer: I mean, she had to take 2 months off work.  She said it was back strain, but, my mate, who works down the pub and knows someone in the NHS, said she had a breakdown and was in a mental hospital.  Like that Jill, who went on a 6 week holiday to see her cousin in Australia, but, I reckon she was having a boob job.  She went out a C and came back a D; I don’t think the sun made them grow big. So have you heard any good gossip?  C’mon you’re new; everyone’s indiscreet with the newbie.  It’s about me? What could there be about me? Oh, that I’m on a final written warning and performance improvement notice for bullying and harassing other staff members.  Well if having a chat is what the company views as harassment that’s their problem.  Do I have a boyfriend? That’s none of your business! www.bespokejokebloke.co.uk

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